All Comments on 'The Deal Ch. 30'

I am really enjoying your story.

One request though... can you put a small dashed line or asterisks when you change scenes? I have about broke my neck a couple times switching between scenes. It would make it flow better for the reader. Again, great story; worth the five stars I've been giving it.

Agree about the scene breaks; though having said that, each chapter seems relatively too ahort to really utilize the breaks well. You would honestly have so many cut-a-ways in every story that it might become an eyesore. Answer? Perhaps cut down on the number of different scenes per chapter, or maybe don't break them up as much. Up to you, wise and powerful author ;).

As for my comments, love the story direction! Especially the little twist with Diana and Gwen, though one hopes that Matt will retain his 'harem' status by including the new woman into the mix. Keep up the good work!

Just wanted to say I was pleased when Diane avoided a relationship with Steve. Enjoying the new chapters.

Pete.

agreed, needs scene breaks

Thanks for the comments. You know, on my original word document the scenes are nice and tight in single space units with a double space to separate them. Somehow this was completely lost when it transferred over to Lit files. I will get a new version with dashes or something to space it out.

My sincere apologies - it does look very abrupt and confusing, not at all like my original.

Thanks for your patience.

It's like rocky. They made too many movies of that too. You killed it.

Thank you very much for the kind words.

Sorry about the abrupt scene changes - I've already sent in what I hope will be a fix for that!

Thanks again and I hope you continue to enjoy this.

Yeah - again my apologies on the scene breaks - came out different on my word document. I did send in what I hope will be a fix. I originally wrote them separate and merged them to create a sense of time passage also because the two were very uneven - all talk in one and all sex in the other. Splitting them up worked the best, but with scene breaks.

I'm glad you liked the twist - I've been very curious to hear the response. Deforest was too much of a jerk for me in Jamaica to ever have a real shot.

'Harem' huh? wrong sister for that but keep reading!

Hi Pete! Always great to hear from you, as long as it doesn't take from your own writing!

I'm glad you liked the direction this took. As I mentioned in another response, Deforest burned too many bridges in Jamaica but also I have to think of poor Matt and having a teacher who almost failed him for a step dad would be just too weird.

Very, very glad you are enjoying this.

Absolutely keep in touch my friend!

Hey tjb50cal! Thanks for commenting - yeah the scene breaks are absolutely needed. I have sent in a fix. I don't know why the system took out my paragraph marks.

Thanks for the "more please" more is on the way - and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be easier to read.

Please keep in touch.

Hey anonymous! Good news - you're getting your wish - it stops with Chapter 33.

Thanks for reading!

Yet again, another great addition to the story. I can't say how happy i was to see the setup of Steve with Diana went in another direction. I think Gwen will be a perfect match for her and a geat addition to the Hughes family. Can't wait to see the next chapter for their date. So so hot Litfan! The word awesome does not do your story justice.

Thank you very, very much.

Once the whole direction for the end came together this has been a blast for me to write. I found that everything clicked well conceptually.

I hope you continue to enjoy!

And very happy writing to you as well. I very much look forward to more writing from you!

LF

Each chapter just keeps feeding it HOT fuel. Keep 'em cUming...LOL!!!

... for the most part. The few minor complaints I have don't even merit being voiced because they already have been by others. I have to confess I'm kind of not looking forward to the end of this tale. If these characters have more story to tell us, please continue. Just my opinion, but if "The Deal" part of the story is over, as it should be as Matt's graduation is imminent, that's fine, but it feels like there's more than three chapters of fun and frolic left to be shared from this neighborhood group.

great story except for the thriple penetration of Cindy i believe in couples only fucking each other and not others otherwise they basically become sluts but still good writing

Adding a new couple to the mix.

Thanks again. It is really fun to read the character progression! Great story. I look forward to reading each of these chapters