All Comments on 'The Descending of Jessica Ch. 11'

This is by far the best story ever. I hope you are doing ok and you seem her happy with Brent now.

Perhaps you could make a second chapter 11 that describes everything else that happened that you didn't tell us in this chapter.

Or you could make a epilogue and tell us a little bit of what happened at your honeymoon (hint hint :P)

But I'm glad that everything turned out for the best. I was worried that you would leave Brent. I hope you continue your writing because I will definitely read it. You are the best Jessie.

Wow. Holy shit. You are an amazing writer. Yes, I did notice a few things that spell check would not - "a way" instead of "away"; "some how" instead of "somehow"; "of" instead of "'ve"; "its" instead of "it's" - none of that shit matters. You need to keep writing. It is a moral imperative. Keep writing.

If you ever need an editor, write to my "Mary Marvel" email account (I'll explain the joke behind that, someday) and type HOLP in the subject line. That stands for Head Of Line Privilege. If you ever need or want an editor, I will put your story (or stories) on the top of my "To Edit" pile.

You are a fantastic writer and the world cannot wait for Literotica to catch up to you. Let's edit out the minutia so the world can get your next story sooner. You know I would never change a word without your express permission. I would just do spelling and punctuation. No e. e. cummings shit for you; you're above the artsy-fartsy bullshit.

I do have to go back to read that chapter about how you and Brent used the robots to stop the zombie apocalypse. I keep promising myself to do that. This final chapter cannot be the end of your writing. Please keep it up.

For my part, I've promised to slow down and I shall keep my promise.

Will be looking forward to your next story

Do one with Brat and Brent Jr. as the characters. Follow in their parents' footsteps.

Thanks for all your kind comments and helpful critiques along the way. I may take a few days and write the epilogue, or I may take a week or so off and start Amber's Tale. (Let me know what you think of that title, I got some feedback that The Descending wasn't accurate in its title, and I guess it wasn't.) Anyway, see ya soon! Oh! And Brat and Brent Jr are about two decades apart age wise.... I don't see them hooking up, but keep the ideas coming!

After chapter 3-4 it really moved away from the erotica category and into something closer to a blog post except a little bit of the caroline stuff. The early chapters were pretty decent. I felt you really were waaaaay too hard on Brent. Based on your story, *he* didn't sleep with anyone else, even after you dumped him. From your descriptions he wasn't even naked with someone. Much of your emotional pain, again, based on the way you wrote it, was entirely self-inflicted wallowing while refusing to listen to any explanation from Brent or anyone else. Meanwhile you threw a world-class hissy fit tantrum, made him suffer in vengeance, forced him to drop out of school and transfer, *and* you got to move in with the lover you cheated on him with. Hello pot, meet kettle. Kettle, this is pot. Teensy tiny bit of a double standard there.

Yes, I would say you are 100% right on everything you say regarding hypocrisy, of course hindsight is 20/20. I also agree with the notion that I had a hissy fit, which goes to the emotional situation at the time. As to cheating, well, there we disagree. Brent didnt, true, but that wasn't known. Ergo, I was free to do whatever I liked with Carolyn, or anyone else. As Ross from Friends might say, "We were on a break."

As to it not being erotica, I suppose that would depend upon what floats an individual's boat. I humbly strive to present more than just the standard "insert tab A into slot B" material I read on here so often, which isn't to say there aren't good stories here, but there are some that are just not to my taste. Whether I achieved that is an open question. Personally, I doubt it, but I tired, and will try again. Hopefully I'll get it right sooner or later. I'm glad you read all the story, and wish

you had enjoyed it more. That said, thanks for the feedback.

Also, as to the hypocrisy, a lot will get cleared up in the epilogue, if I ever have time to finish it.

Thanks for the feed back though.

I liked the story overall, was a good kind of biography feel to it, buuuut this chapter just blew the whole story up like a literary hand grenade. I noticed that other people touched on it and you did too, but the whole Brent not cheating and then you cheating, and then tyrannically controlling his life while conveniently not telling him you cheated came off kinda childish. It's convenient to say "we were on a break" but that doesn't really apply when a) you don't in any way shape or form talk to your fiancé and b) the entire problem was your imagination. Other than that I enjoyed the story for the most part.

I agree with what you say, I hope the remaining chapters I wrote sort of set things right for you.

The last two chapters were about people; I got so engrossed in the story that the absence of sex didn't bother me at all.