All Comments on 'The Devil Wears Nada'

Great! Great! Great! Looking forward to Foxy Grandma next!

This is your best piece of work yet, in my humble opinion. Rich and textured with great characterization and some original, hot, set pieces. I'll go into more detail when I e-mail you... Fantastic work, guy!

It has been way too long a time to wait since the last one. Your stories are always excellent. Please get them to us quicker.

I think that it was just a little ridiculolus in the beginning how it took an hour to set the story, I also barely undersand the name. I did like the story though.

I read every one of your stories and think they are phenomenal. I like the way you slowly develop the seduction and betrayal. I have a couple ideas that I think fits well within your storyline and have provided them below:

Wicked Stepdaughter: She hates her mother and wants to steal her step-dad away. You might make the step-dad a family values politician which makes him even more off limits.

Demonic Possession: A priest/minister etc represents the future of the church and its influence in the world. The devil sends a demon to possess a girl and corrupt the man of the cloth. The religious figure is sent to conduct an exorcism of the demon but the demon slowly seduces and corrupts him.

The first 4 pages could have been reduced to half a page. Too much verbiage and not enough sex

The first three pages were a waste. One paragraph for introduction and then it was the greatest. We read your stories by skimming or skipping the first few pages.

Fascinating psychological portraits.

I disagree with some other comments that the first 5 pages were a waste. That part is necessary to build the psychological background and motivation for later actions. Great story. I really like your main theme of a woman dominating another one to the fullest extent possible. And the last part is just great. Most people would leave it where the wife leaves but you made her beg and get humiliated and defeated again. Great story and I hope you will write more.

It is so sad though that it had to end that way. Your story could be more Values-related (at least in some way or another) by stressing that neglectfulness of their duty as a wife may end up to their demise. But without you going way too masochist to the neglectful wife.

PS: Amongst your stories, I only like two of them; THE TRIP and Surrounded

Good start, but rushed middle that undermined the ending a bit.

actually fits this category. As usual you spent time in create a great situation for needed results.. but then for some reason you jumped the shark. Nathan didn't seem to have any plan, even after everything he heard about her.. it would have been a natural step to study his enemy before confrontation. Temptation seemed to goo too fast, he should have went to Paris with them just for the initial meeting. or maybe make him her kids babysitter (to help his wife get some rest) .

This is good, but not one of your best, feels rushed.

Abby would turn the tables and get her husband back. For a LONG time I couldn't tell where the story was going. I thought Nina was going to dominate Abby sexually. Therefore I was caught off guard with the husband thing. Also, having characters with similar names (Abby and Audrey) was confusing.

To improve a bit your already very good style, I would suggest you do not write "Abby said..." or "Audrey asked..." everywhere. Readers can make out who speaks most of the time. And when it stands at the end of a very long paragraph, it is just useless because you have already given plenty of clues about who is speaking. It just breaks the fluidity of the dialogues. If you still think an indication is needed, add in a small sentence about the speaker just before or just after the speech, so that the reader has the right person in mind.

The same for first names, they can often be changed for pronouns.

Thanks for the good story.

I absolutely love your style and the themes in your stories. I just wish very VERY much that you would incorporate foot fetish as the weapon to break down a man.

So beta male Nathan was packing 10 inches, yeah that figures. But Abby is never gagging for it and is more concerned about her job all the time? I call bullshit. No sane female would give that up so easily, regardless of what their fucking job was.

I kind of feel bad for Abby. She got royally shafted. That being said, there was a lot of truth in Nina's words, sad as that may be. It's a dog-eat-dog world; always has been and will be for the foreseeable future. The strong devour the weak. It's just how it is.