All Comments on 'The Devil's Daughter Pt. 01'

A promising start , I am looking forward to the rest of the story .

I like it

This story has potential but I almost gave up after reading that disjointed second paragraph.

Do get an editor to read through it. Authors can sometimes get problems of discontinuity when they polish the text. A new eye would see these faults where your own eye sees what you think you meant.

I don't make these comments in a destructive way but hope you consider my suggestion.

so far, great start, please keep it up,

I'm captivated to see where this goes! Keep up the good work

Sorry guys for the long time delay. My job has had me by the balls as of late. I will be working on completing the second part of the story hopefully by tonight. I will be taking everyone's comments into account and be reading over my writing 3 fold to make sure paragraphs flow nicely and looking into getting an editor for my work. Part 2 will have lots of hardcore stuff including dicks ripping people in half, blood and stomach deformation so if anyone is opposed to that or offended I do apologise. Thank you all for your feedback positive and negative, for all feedback will help make me a better writer. Can't wait to finish up part. 2. See ya guys!

"Holy shit," was my dicks first thought.

Laughed for 5 minutes straight...

I have gotten a lot of emails regarding part 2 and do not fret, I am uploading part 2 once again, this will make attempt 3 at uploading it. It is finished, but was never uploaded, all it says is: pending... pending.... pending. I know it takes anywhere from 24-72 hours to upload, but I uploaded part 2 last Tuesday, so I have no idea why the long wait for upload, so just be patient while it uploads is all I ask, and with patience comes a great reward. Thank you guys for all the great feedback and comments.

Excellent story so far. Thanks.

Have any of the other parts been uploaded anywhere? I can't see any.

The second part of The Devil's Daughter, was considered too rough to allow on the site. Though, if you wish to read part 2, shoot me an email with the subject line "part 2" and I will gladly send you a copy of it. Email is Maskwind247@yahoo.com

I read this over a year ago and couldn't remember where I found it when I wanted to read it again. I am so glad I found it. Are there any more parts?

Very inventive concept, well written.