All Comments on 'The Devil's Slave'

Damn

You should be proud of this one, brilliant story. Although short, it is one of the better ones that I have read. Can't wait to read more of yours :)

The wording was a little simple for me, but the story line itself had me hooked. I was turned on and I actually jumped at the end when she turned around. You gave me so many mixed feelings.

I felt like it had a ton of potential but the devil saying that she should love Phil as if she where loving him because he was in Phil then Phil was acting like an annoying little Bitch.His oh baby oh baby just didn't fit the whole alpha "devil made me do it" persona. He could have been much much darker and while the scene was set for dark erotica the conversations didn't fit the story. Does that make since? I don't quite know how to sum up what I'm thinking basically keep the dark prince lose Philly and throw a little "doom generation" (rose Mcgowan movie in case I lost you there)into Mona and next time possibly an anti hero where she has to decide if she even wants to be saved or stay the devils own. Maybe give that bad girl a little mission to seduce daddy since she seems to have that need for a dd relationship already. I think the mona character has star quality and with more time spent on molding her and less time trying to factor in a contest theme, well hell darlin, you might be the next poppy z brite (read wormwood before you go back and work on mona, I think your style is complementary to hers and you might pull a lot from her experience and be able to incorporate into your own story development) Congratulations on submitting this piece, I don't want to discredit your accomplishment, trust me I know how nerve racking this process can be. My 5 stories are still sitting on my laptop. I posted 2 to my website but for some reason publishing it here scares me to death. I wish you the best of luck, this story showed a hell of a lot of talent. I just feel like it was a few good characters and story ideas that got all tossed in the mix and they should be further developed as individual stories. Ones I very much look forward to reading. -Maliceon Books

I really loved your story... and what i absolutely loved was how willing she was and how her ultimate devil master was in bounding and making sure she was under his control, in giving perfect amount of pain while making sure she doesn't pass out... It was really good... It seems the devil really had good experience... you should continue it...

This really belongs in non-human or erotic horror. There is no master/slave. Dom/sub RELATIONSHIP in this story