All Comments on 'The Education Of Richard Ch. 05'

This was amazing. A bunch of horny whores dominated by a big fucked stud. The fifth addition was a very pleasant surprise!

awesome finish to a great story line...

It's clear that you're experimenting on the POV aspect heavily on this chapter, given that none of the earlier installments shifted narratives with such enthusiasm. Unlike your previous entry that attempted this, the process didn't detract from the reading experience. They weren't so awkward this time around.

My issue is that it didn't add to the experience either.

The purpose to switch the narration around is due to the vast depth of each character present that writing in third person simply wouldn't do it justice. The problem is that each of the 5 slutty nymphomaniacs don't have deep enough personalities and development to pull this off effectively. Their only difference is the size of their breasts, as far as I'm concerned, and when you change narration between sluts that only want to hog the huge dick stud so they can fill canoes with their liquid honey to, well, sluts that want to hog the huge dick stud so they can fill canoes with their creamy cunt sauce, you can see why I see no difference whatsoever when narration changes.

What I'm saying is that it didn't do anything, that you could've achieved the exact same result if you wrote it in 3rd person since the 5 women are near identical to each other when their lust ran rampant.

If your objective was to create a functional product with narration changes, then you're somewhat on the right track. I still saw it used too liberally despite it being more polished.

Anonymous, I really appreciate the feedback.

A lot of people have commented that this is a better POV-switching work, and I'm inclined to agree.

However, it was actually written almost a decade before Family Business, so I'm sad to admit that in this regard that I've evidently gone backwards.

Still, I'm not overly fond of pov switches and I think you're unlikely to see much more of it, apart from the rest of Family.

You'll see some more third-person from me going forward. I used to find it stilted and awkward for erotica, but I'm warming up to it as I experiment with it more.

Thank you again so much for your insightful and helpful critique!

Will we see them all join the mother's club thru him including the teen sluts

The story started out really really well. I loved it and your writing as far as dialogue and description was very hot! And I was so excited when you threw in the principal...but then you made her black.

I get why you did it, you wanted to throw in something different and unique. And in that regard, as far as creativity goes, that was a cool idea. But personally I just don't find most black women all that attractive. I hope you don't take my feedback as insulting towards your story, but instead as the voice of a fan who likes your stories, but with a preference for big-titted, white milfs more than anything else.

Anyway, I give your story four stars out of five. Good work, and I look forward to your other ideas that you have on the horizon.

I liked that the principal was black , I love all ladies of all color being a Native American male myself . It was good to see it, to me today you always read about the big black cock not that I am a racist but it just gets old there are many different color of men with big cocks besides black guys. But that's just the way it goes its just getting old.