All Comments on 'The Empty Nest Pt. 03'

The more I read, the better it gets. Can't wait for part 4

The legal and fiscal maneuverings have more heat then the carnal ones. I get the narrator is not a player , but he barely knows the widow and and IRL potentially underestimating the complications from the sullen son of hers. Charlie84 did set stage masterfully for courtroom prep and actual confrontation.

One thing that would have been welcome is Rachael showing just a hint of doubt , if not actual remorse for scorched earth marital dissolution battle she is waging. I actually wonder if her POV would have been livelier for reader to assume in terms of telling story.

Clearly research has been done for material spectrum of this story. Detailing multiple courtroom machinations in lucid fashion for reader is very daunting and the author has a aquitted himself superbly by amateur standards . To do that takes both nerve and hard work . It's not Turow or even Grisham. But they are literal pros. Watch out Richard Gerald . Full marks, *****

Haters gona hate no matter what. I've found that most who complain about something can't see past their own egos.

It feels like the story is being seriously sidetracked by the charlie character.

and it is such an overused character in literotica anyway (the perfect rebound woman who appears just before or after the divorce) it's been done to death and adds nothing to the story.

also the husbands lawyer is worse than fucking useless, he just turns up and does fuck all, it is the client who is doing all the investigations and paying the lawyer for nothing.

And the husband is such a fucking goody two shoe's boyscout.

Not going to bother reading anymore chapters as it is to longwinded and the characters are stereotypical.

This is some passive accountant. It is frustrating to read about how he let's life just happen to him. Why hasn't he done a more thorough investigation on where Rachel's 10 million really went? Given her cheating and scheming there is a good chance it has been hidden. Why wouldn't his lawyer push for that now that they have time to check it out? Like I said, frustrating.

Except Jeff's character is a bit of a whiner. Giving his slut wife more money to get rid of her instead of fighting her tooth and nail, he is so frustrating that someone needs to shake him and waken him up. Still a five star.

A short story needs some sort of issue and the effort to resolve it. This story has been rather straight forward, with each problem easily overcome with a bit of worrying and uncertainty tossed in. There have been no surprises, no reasons to think the husband won't overcome all obstacles, and no real tension. The guy mopes around until a woman sets her sights on him and then it's off to the races...literally. I will read the last chapter, but I fear it'll simply tie everything up in a neat package. The wife will be ruined and want back and he will be happily banging a much younger woman and the revenge seekers will say what a great story, but where's the beef? Write a cheating wife story where the cheating wife winds up unhappy and the husband has a newer, prettier, bigger titted girlfriend and all is well.

But should be in the romance category. As a LV story, the only thing going for it is that it isn't a willing cuck or swinging story. Five stars would be an insult to the inspirational stories that actually deserved the rating. Three stars because I don't hate it.

This guy is an accountant. Accountants are, by nature, very boring people. But if you get them on the battlefield of numbers, they turn into Achilles (Brad Pitt) from the movie "Troy". Given how dirty she did him and how greedy she is being, he should be foaming at the mouth over this.

You have him being so passive. When he asked, "Should I just give her seven million to make it go away?" I almost threw my laptop against the wall. No accountant worth is weight will let someone rob him of money. He isn't going to give her a dime more than she deserves, Especially seeing how proactive he was at hiding the 10 million in the first place. I simply can't believe his character.

That being said, this story is excellently written. Full marks from me.

I have to agree with what others have said about Jeff. At times he is too passive, too tongue tied, too awkward, which I think means you have over written him. An example is the frantic coupling in the entry way and then he stands and looks at her instead of hugging her. This is beyond being out of practice, this goes against a mans basic human nature. Only men who habitually use women as objects would treat her that way IMHO. Doesn't mean I don't like the story, because I do and just gave you five stars at this point.

I guess that there are so many poorly written stories lately, especially with cukhold themes, that I am enjoying this more than some seem to be. I will agree that an accountant who has enough insight to hide a third of his lottery winnings seems to be a little too meek when it comes to lies, deceit and most of all his money.

David has come around a little quicker than I thought. Perhaps he took stock in his mom's behavior and happiness before and after but not something an average teen will do.

This cut me to the core though and I think you let her off a lot easier than you should have, "No wonder Rachel took off the first time somebody showed her some attention!" That was uncalled for and simply adds to the seemingly unbelievable extreme mildness you've given him. There is no way she would EVER forgive a similar statement made her.

“Frankly Jeff I don't see how the judges are going to give them more now we have more realistic valuations of Rachel's assets” – I’m a little confused here. They have presented evidence that the original valuations were at best in error if not actually fraudulent, but nowhere have we heard about more realistic valuations being done. Did I skim over it, or was it just assumed?

but a four I did. The scenes in page three of the confrontation with David, and the reminisces of his mom, were quite emotional. Nicely done..

I agree with many of the comments below...a good story with a lot of emotion...but Jeff is not fully believable in his inability to follow through re Rachel. What I don't understand is the roll of an editor on Literotica as there are far too many grammatical errors...any editor should be looking not only at the "story line" but how it is written!

If a main character's children are irrelevant to the story...if they won't even appear or be thought of during great lengths of time...just have the guy be childless.

It makes a character look self-absorbed when they are supposed to be a parent but never mention their kids even in reflection, in such a long stretch of narrative.

Like so many others have already stated, the character of Jeff is just not believable in any way. His lack of anger and willingness to allow his wife and her lover to screw him over financially especially being an accountant is just absurd.

Why was there no counter to wifeys claims of being the long standing loving wife challenged with proof of her affair? Why no mention of her lover being the one who did the false property valuation? You are allowed to give the give some measure of a backbone.

He won 30m.. hid 10m and split the rest with his wife in the hope of pulling one over her in a divorce. Then just when a judge rules in his favor to pay just a million he wants to pay 3m more than his initial 4m he was willing to give in the divorce.. where is the sense in all this? Why didn't he just seek divorce the moment he won the ticket so the woman could walk away with more than(17m he didn't mind losing to her)? Why did he go through all that trouble of hiding money he was just going/willing to give to her either way? Balderdash!

CharlesB4' you wrote this character Jeff to be a wimp. Why ? He wife is screwing him over and all he wants to do is give her more money. He doesn't tell his grown children . Yet he is moving on into a new relationship. It's Pure nonsense ! Whatman lets a cheating wife shit all over him. And going to court with doctored documents is fraud. To many unanswered questions ?

Ijust read 5pages of nothing new . Its getting so boring 3 ch . Put me to sleep.

too long, draw out, too much wimpy

not care if there is a chapt 4 ***

It is insulting to men. It is even more insulting to women. But its worst feature? It is now totally predictable and boring. Yeah, maybe there will be some big upset surprise in court, where Rachel is sent packing to a convent and Jacques is sent to the guillotine. But the plot and characters are so pathetic and morose that, at this point in this never ending swirl down the crapper, who cares what happens? She was born a stupid bitch, and she will die a stupid bitch. He was born weak and timid, and he will die weak and timid, and eating whatever life plops on his plate.

While many of us have wasted some time on this dirge to two dysfunctional people and their joke of a marriage, the real loser is the author. I can't imagine how much time you have put into this doggerel. What a fucking waste.

Hope you've learned something about yourself from the effort. I have.

Yup...this is a boring story that doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

Dumb arse, it would have far cheaper to have his bitch and her new "love" die in car crash in France. This guy is way too big a pussy. Grow a set dummy.

This is just spinning off into inane hand wringing. The tension is gone, the sex isn't erotic and the characters are becoming just sad losers. Wrap it up. Doubt I'll read any more, but if the next chapter is the conclusion I might peek at the ending. It's just become agonizingly dreary.

I tried to stay with it, but the husband is such a wuss and the story is boring.

Many of the comments are accurate; what started out as a good story has become quite drawn out. The other part that is disappointing is his willingness to keep throwing more money at the bitch and her leach.

I agree with the funding of a mysterious firery crash on a curvy french highway cliff.

BDEarth

The most interesting part of the story, by far, is the legal maneuvering. I am learning something about the Australian legal/family court system; I appreciate the detail there (and the trouble to include it). But (and this is a big "but",) as others have noticed, the accountant seems to be eager to give away the money he went to quite some trouble to pro-actively protect. Seven million offered? Four million offered? Try offering one million! He seems inconsistent and illogical; yes, especially for an accountant. He's the protagonist; he's who the audience naturally roots for; why should I root for this confused knucklehead?

The sex (which is kind of why I come to literotica) is totally uninteresting. My eyes just skip over it. Hope that the courtroom drama makes the conclusion worthwhile. I doubt the sex will.

CB4, this has been a superb story and nicely paced. Excuse this long post, but I wanted to respond to all those posters calling the protagonist a cuck, wimp ect..

While reading it, I felt transported back to the late 70's where I grew up with friends whose parents were CPA's, Doctors, Lawyers and well off business owners.

Jeff is very similar to some dad's i knew. That's why this story works.

The couples followed three types: they truly loved each other, they had separate lives or they divorced and this happened before the teenage years of their kids.

The separate lives couples were either active or passive about it. The dad's ran their business, played golf, made money and let the women spend. Wives in turn had responsibility for the kids, the women's biggest bragging right (dad's too) was what college and profession their kids chose, then later who they married, then their first houses and finally the Grandchildren.

The Mom's like Rachael (who did not work) viewed the household as their kingdom. Believe me many mom's were "my way or the highway". My friends could not go away to college fast enough.

Some dad's had girlfriends, the wife's looked the other way, they did not want to put out the sex, lose a very comfortable lifestyle and they knew it was short term thing. Or the women had something similar, they were more the active types.

All the other annon's who call Jeff a wimp, he is an accurate portrayal of many guys who still had feelings for their wives, although they had become more shewish with age. They had all this shared history, wanted the companionship and were scared about all the financial risk that if wife number 2 was a golddigger, they would be worse off. Even with prenups...although less common then.

We also saw a couple of mom's run off to 'find themselves" and that was basically to get laid and attention they did not get, or frankly would not accept from their husbands.

Knowing his type it makes perfect sense he is willing to be generous despite her greed. He has no debt, has a profitable business that run's itself and he is happy doing what he does, Now that the shrew is gone he wants companionship, affection and the sex from an appreciative woman.

Keep writing and thanks for all of your stories.

The character divorced his cheating wife so HE IS NOT A CUCK!

This is independent of his behavioral.

I am enjoying it immensely. Hoping to see Racheal receiver her 'cum'uppance! ;)

Many comments complain about the wimpy husband and how even though they are fighting over numbers he as an accountant is not using his inside knowledge to his benefit. A comment was made by the husband when he met Jacques and they shoe hands about letting Jacques believe he was a wimp. I am hoping that whatever that meant means there are some surprises ahead and Jacques as well as Rachel will be falling hard.

and I also did for this one. Good story that I can't stop reading, though some of the Aussie 'isms are confusing, as well as ya'lls legal system. I hope gets the full BTB treatment. If so, no doubt I'll give the final part 5 as well.

Realistic. Believable. Worth the time to read.

Hubby is human, though a bit befuddled. Wife is truly a greedy bitch and apparently easily manipulated by her lover. The Aussi-isms are sometimes difficult to translate, but you certainly get the jist of the author's intention.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm looking forward to your final installment.

Brujay

But I too find flaw in that her financial misdealings and knowledge of the froggy bastard isn't being presented to the tribunal of judges as their BS is... this tale seems to reside in the realm of believable fiction so I hope u aren't going to fuck it up with rediculous rulings from our fictional judges. If judge 1 dissed it out so did these three not to mention the improper timeliness of both hearings, that in itself is probable cuse to motion for mistrial. Family courts are backed up for years in Canada I'll assume Australia is about the same.

And some weak characters. At this point the soon to be ex wife has become a cutout of horribleness. The main character doesn't seem to warrant sympathy either. Charlie and David feel very real even if in the background most of the time. I agree with other comments that the children are not considered and they should be. With the stuff their mother tried to pull in divorce court being criminal in nature it should be a no brained for them to want to step up and speak to their fathers character especially since the "evil" lawyer was trying to tear down his credibility.

The hurried sex scene with Charlie against the door was well written. The turmoil of emotions after that were awesome as well. Then sometimes it feels like the narration is pushing hard during the sex scenes as they run on and on and become more droll than erotic.

Still the fun of the story continues and this chapter had more emotion so this one got a 5 from me.

. . . at the nitpicking critics. This is an honest, believable story that is very well told. The main characters are at once genuine and appealing. I look forward eagerly to the next submission. Five stars all the way.

Would be nice if he decided to play hardball after all giving her the money is the same as paying her to have a lover.

your writing him as a little pussy. You and slirpuff do that a lot. She wasted 10 million dollars and you offer her 4 more. Donald Trump is worth billions and only gave Ivana 10 million. This guy is giving away the bank. Also he just got rid of one psycho bitch why fall in with another one?

There have been several points in the story that made me cringe. First, he knows of her adultery and still was hoping to have a good time at Christmas? He let his wife blow all that money without saying a word, even though he knew she was being taken?

Then Charlie blows up at him in the kitchen and displays tendencies of Bi-polar and he cowers to her every whim? The one line in that scene that would have done it for me was her saying, no wonder your ex left you for another man. That was meant to hurt and would have been the end of that relationship as far as I'm concerned.

The story is well told but I haven't found a character I like in the whole story so far.

Just what does Charlie see in this boring, whiny, stick-in-the mud multi-millionaire?

lots of filler, story seems diluted. And ithe plot is predictable: is there really anyone here following this story that hasn't long ago figured out its conclusion?

When Jeffrey mentioned to Brian , maybe he should just give her the 7 million . I was very excited , yes please do. End this after less than 2 pages ! But NOoooo ! CharlieB4 you didn't have him do it .

So here we are waiting for another chapter . 2*s and thanks for the effort.

AMerryman

Can someone please explain to me why authors release completed stories in multiple chapters for crying out loud. Supposedly all chapters are complete but lit is just slowly releasing them. Personally I would far rather read a 20 page story than 15 frickin' chapters!

Jeffery grows a pair to show that he is not the same person who was never more aggressive in his marriage than to say yes dear. Decides to show the "WANK"ers that they are not going to get even half what they think their billable hours are worth. Puts Jacque out of the financial picture along with his cousin the butcher. And decides to have a life of his own and if Charlie wants to share it, she has to accept him as he is.

The children learn what a silly cow their mother is.

David becomes a civil member of society.

The home and accountancy are sold.

Geoffrey (new spelling to show his new identity) learns to scuba dive, gets a pilots license, plants a vineyard and becomes a winemaker.

Usually I just lurk. But with all the negative comments I had to jump in. First off I do like the story. One, because it is a story with a plot other than wimp husband likes to see nice wife become a whore slut and find the biggest blackest gangbang there ever was and make the hubby eat her and be her slave forever... that is the usual literotica drivel.... big run on sentence there... live with it.

Now the husband... folks say he is a wimp... well he is a bit more passive than most would like... but not a wimp. He is trying to detach himself from an unloving leech. He could have made a big scene at Christmas but does make it clear it would estrange him from the kids and would do more harm than good. He would come out looking like a heel. It is passive but he has not burned bridges with the kids. He loves them.

Where I become alienated from the character of Jeffery is; he is an accountant with a thriving business for Christs sake. He should be used to doing audits, and taxes... When he calls Mandy and asks her to find dirt on the appraisers he should be telling her what to look for and where to look. He should be giving out orders to show exactly where the money is hidden and being spent. He should be directing the forensic audit of his wife's expenses. This is where he should be shining. He was smart enough to redirect the 10 million. But then he "wimps" and goes brain dead when it comes to the Accounting. He would never just roll over and offer more money than he should. But here is where I say the 5 mil offer is in his mind... 5 more mil and the lottery would have been split in half evenly. Also isn't he entitled to half of his wife's money? But I think he should be more of a shark when it comes to exposing the fraud. I am pounding the table on this.

As far as Charlie and David go they seem like a normal anchor in this story. She is no slut and not suppose to be... not perfect but maybe perfect for a passive account who just wanted a quiet normal life. I did not get her outburst... It started heading to the cuck/dominant territory but mellowed out pretty fast. The son David is protective and needy. Perfect with losing a Dad so early.

I would like to see this story head in a couple of directions but I am not writing it... I am not like the usual critics, that rant and rave like they are writers or know better. I am not the critic that pretends to be above it all and insulted they were not entertained while they never write a thing themselves... I just offer my opinion...

I think this story is a 4.5 I reserve to see the outcome before being so rash.

Jeff is a bit too much of a wimp. Even for an accountant. The judge ruled $1 million, he should have paid the $1 million and withdrawn his offer of $4 million. Okay, so he is a bean counter but when it comes to numbers bean counters should be going for the throat. The phony evaluations given to the court by his wife and her gigolo would really piss off the court and would be a reasonable basis for withdrawing the offer.

The valuations should also heavily influence the appeals court in his favor. Clearly the wife and her gigolo are trying to defraud him in the asset settlement. The appeals court should take the WANK law firm to task for the phony valuations.

Finally, Charlie the rebound woman stuff is okay, but way too much attention and detail is paid to this parallel story.

Three Stars.

@anonymous on chapters of story like you I prefer to read all the story at one time and not day by week by month. At least CharlieB4 completed his story before posting other writers are still in the process of writing their stories and on chapter 5 and get bored or as they say real life interfered and so they just abandon the story. Some will come back in a year or five and resume and apologize for their absence. I sent an email to one author who told me to buy my books if I wanted them complete and then when I pointed out I did buy books but for sure I would never buy one written by him the response was to F___ You. This is a very well told story but overlong I only rate stories when they are finished so far you are getting a 5.

Still a good story...but I think it's time to end it all...This is making the judges in Australia look like stupid...Those lawyers of his ex-wife in another country would have been heavily fined...3*

I was going to wait to comment after the last chapter but felt the need to defend the author who I have taken to task in other stories. As another commentator noted above, the Jeffrey/Rachel relationship is a common one. He is the provider and she is the spender. Over the years their relationship evolved into co-dependence but they resented the other. She felt he was holding her back and he felt she was spending away his security. I feel that CharlieB4's description of their life was fair and balanced even though it was given thorough Jeffrey's perspective. Jeffrey realized his limitations and was not happy with himself.

The first chapter was the best. The story goes off stride when Jeffrey suspects that Rachel is being taken advantage of and does nothing. He accidentally discovers her infidelity and still does nothing. How could this accountant not have spent more preparation for the financials when he knew about her lover's shenanigans even before she asked for the divorce? The revelation of the bullshit valuation coming a the lunch recess before the judge's ruling is stupid when he is so caught up in the divorce process. The bad lawyers would be pushing their client to take the settlement rather than have their false report get scrutinized. Lawyers have been disbarred for less.

The criticism of the Charlie/Jeffrey relationship is unfair. I liked the way it developed and his restraint in the objections that David had with having someone replace his dad. I would have been happy if this was just a friendship between two lonely people without the sex. The first sex scene was a little implausible. The contrast between Jeffrey's thoughtfulness about David and his lack of any thought of his own daughters is hard to understand. If he hated them, why would he have given them any of his winnings? He has no contact with them other than the Christmas misadventure.

Since you are writing from Jeffrey's perspective, we don't know what is going on with Rachel. The judge awarded her $1 million and $50K alimony for life so no matter what she can get by. I like that Jeffrey is not trying to burn her and seems to be growing as a person. I have criticized CharlieB4's other stories because they usually involve a cheating wife who fucks over the ex-husband in the end. Usually the husband has to sell the family farm to pay off the bitch. In this story Rachel created her own punishment. Her greed could never satisfy her. I hope that the next chapter shows some growth on her end.

Thank you for your work,

reasonable man

Moron wimp stupid tale.

He loans her $250,000 interest fee to pay her mortgage off, helps her son out with work and then she gets shitty when he doesn't thank her for cooking a meal for him. He feels sorry for not treating her right. Really she is a PRIMA_DONA he is a loser, take away the unreal lottery winnings and his true value is revealed. ZIP. TK

Knock it the fuck off. Obviously both of you are clueless. This was a great chapter. The cunt er future ex-wife was caught with phony evaluations and our hero found love again. The next chapter should finish everything nicely.

Five Stars

It is about human beings and their foibles. I really enjoyed LSD and Anon "it reminds me". It was not the world I grew up in but I saw it among my Uni classmates.

Reactive and passive makes the antagonist a wuss. With all his millions can't get a better legal representation. Being an accountant doesn't know about forensic accounting. Unable to hire a real French PI instead of one based in England. His lawyer not taking depositions from people who benefitted from his wife's cash outflows. In real life people who act this passively get shafted. And they don't get the girl either, not when they're this moronic. Oh well just a story eh? Three stars as writing is good but the plot is not so.

Thanks for the offering.

Geez! I swear you could solve any problem the world has if it takes all this dancing around just to get a divorce. And the lottery money thing seems silly. Any smart lawyer petitions the Lottery Office and finds out he got 30 million dollars. End of story. And why is Jeff acting like such a pussy where his soon-to-be ex-wife is concerned? They've demonstrated to the Court she's lying about the Villa's valuation. They have Mandy's report showing she's cohabitating with Jackie boy. Why not drop the hammer and refuse any payment past the 1 million dollars? Forget the 50k per year. And Charlie isn't acting like a cow. She's acting like a manipulative bitch. Along with her truculent teenage son, why would he do anything but stop calling her and stop all attempts to see either of them in the future? He has a boat load of money no matter how things go. Just get on with it and enjoy his life. He just seems to be wallowing in his pain and misery. Please let him dump his wife with no more money paid to her, dump the controlling Charlie and get on with things. This has gotten to be irritating rather than entertaining.

......oh, and for any of you comment police out there....fuck off!

If commenters are censured, no writer can find the necessary information to improve their craft. Admittedly, there is a lot of trash to get through, but you don't get gold without moving a lot of rock and dirt.

If they don't want comments, because they prefer wanking and expressing their fragile little egos, then turn off comments, like the big babies do.

Real writers want real feedback. Pussies want only praise.

The main character is such a weak and pathetic jellyfish I wish his shrew of an ex would take him for everything he has got. There's vulnerable and then there's pathetic - this character falls plainly into that category.

Writing is stilted and pace-wise inconsistent, as well as a disjointed style - you can't tell a love story by everyone functionally starting off with issues-laden sex right from the get go. Time scale not properly defined to convey how long characters have had to adjust to life. Secondary characters are empty and two dimensional.

Sorry, I can't bring myself to read the last installment - 1st one a novelty, 2nd was a challenge, and this one I wanted to claw my own eyes out.

Better luck next time. 1 star unfortunately.

And very interesting. Thanks for sharing.

But can't. That Jeffery is one stupid, whiney, sniveling and cowardly Son Of A Bitch and I can't forget Ball Less. See? It had to be more than one thing.

Long story. A lot of effort. Thanks!

the change in the chapter is awesome... so love the steamy playtime... gotta go see if I can get a bit more of part 4 in before sleep... Loving the storyline

David was right in his analysis.

He's a passive wimp whose soul was crushed by his wife, and now seems to be shopping for someone else to control his life. Sadly, that's not the worst that could happen to him, since he desperately needs someone to function as his balls, seeing as he doesn't have any.

wrap around and engulf strangers and new-bies, TK U MLJ LV NV

The husband seems to get more spineless as the story continues... Even Charlie senses he's weak in this one and starts behaving like a controlling bitch.

You're supposed to be male; so if that's true, how is it you can't write men? This sad sack spends all his time apologizing to every frickin' female in the story. Again, she suddenly, inexplicably, blows up and storms out of the house because she cooked dinner for him and he didn't shower her with fairy dust, rainbows, and unicorn farts? Nice one minute, enraged psycho the next.

My criticism isn't about male domination; it's about the husband in your story having enough self-respect, self-esteem, or just plain simple pride, to defend himself when attacked and to demand he be treated fairly.

Why would he put up with it? After all the years of putting up with that crap from the one he's divorcing, why wouldn't he run for the hills when he sees his new date acting the same way? Why have you made him such a pussy that he grovels before everyone? Why would any woman even look at him twice? You can't write men - OR - the "men" you hang with are all spineless worms - OR - you're a feminist that thinks this is how all men SHOULD behave.

Whatever the reason, you can't write men.

at "No wonder Rachel took off the first time somebody showed her some attention!"

There are things that there are NO coming back from.

A shame, really, was enjoying myself until the girlfriend lost her fucking mind, and the main character lost his balls.

As others have said,Charlie is treating him like shit and saying very hurtful things at this point. Dump her now! Unfortunately he’s too conditioned as a wimp to do that. She will ultimately become dissatisfied and cheat on him, maybe make him a cuckold.

This guy is really getting on my nerves . I thought he would take his miserable life with his controlling, bitchy ex-wise as a lesson learned but NO, he’s still a fucking wimpy guy with no set of balls to stand for himself. Charlie said some really hurtful words to him but he SOMEHOW got the impression that he was guilty and apologized to her !

“No wonder Rachel took off the first time somebody showed her some attention!"

That was an absolutely terrible thing for her to say! I can’t believe this guy apologized after she said that. She was the one who should have begged for his forgiveness.

...as I read so many comments protesting that Jeff is too wimpy to be a real man (that is, not realistic) was:

surely, among the myriads of men/husbands, there is someone out there kinda like him.

That's why my favorite comment was by Anonymous, 10-29-15, titled:

Good story, lifelike, reminds me of many of my friends' dads, Rachel their moms.

This Anonymous saw the Jeff-Rachel relationship mirrored, not uncommonly, among the parents of his high school peers. This proves that their marital dynamic is not so rare as to be worthy of Guinness' Book of World Records, but is so down-to-earth common as to be visible to an observant high schooler.

Not being so ourselves, we enjoy movies featuring the with-it superheroes like James Bond or the Arnold Schwarzenegger archetype. Great movie fantasy heroes that we "identify " with for a couple hours.

But CharlieB4 has not given us a movie hero, but a guy so down in his down-to-earth "unmanly" hesitancy and human foibles that he elicits the frustrations of plenty of commenters wishing he were someone on a more admirable pedestal.

To me, it's part of what makes this an intriguing 5 star story.

Yeah, I got frustrated with some of Jeff's "how can he do/be that?" traits -- but that's the way it is in the quirky, sometimes frustrating, real world.

Paul in Oklahoma

Sorry, the guy comes across as a real sap. Surprised he didn't get taken for all his money, since he was this close to giving it away. And then getting run roughshod over by Charlie was another low point. If that's what he can expect at the beginning of a relationship, it's probably going to end up worse than his marriage to Rachel.

5* - on to the last chapter...

Really!. This guy runs a company, what a wimp. Needs to grow some and stop insulting us with this rubbish. Such a cuck

Apparently he has a thing for being manipulated by a woman

Courtrooms and ex's, and the love story continues. Women! You can't live with them and you can't kill them!

We men are only their willing slaves.

Okay so on what planet is this chapter okay? What she said was completely unacceptable. What kind of MAN puts up with her dig using his cheating ex-wife. Are you fucking insane? Charlie is not worth this. Fuck. Her.

This is really a pathetic wimp story. 1* for each chapter.

I am enjoying it

I gave up reading when he needed to only give her 1 million and he still wanted to give her 7. This story is a total waste of time.

Until this chapter I was enjoying this story.

This chapter is sheer nonsense, though. He had no reason to apologize to Charlie, no reason to send or get her flowers, no reason to call her. He didn't do anything wrong and if she wanted more than he gave, that was on her and she is too high maintenance to bother with.

The main character wanting to give the ex $7 million just to get things over with when he had a judment for $1 million and his lawyer had already said she wouldn't do better than he'd already offered was equally silly.

I understand the writer wanting to create some suspense, but the story suffers when the suspense is totally artificial.

Long winded, almost unreadable. Trying to convert all MC thoughts was clearly the problem.

OK, this part is definitely much better than previous parts. I'll give provisional 4 stars depending on how the next part goes.