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All Comments on 'The Endless Night Ch. 01'
by ripitup
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- 3 Comments
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoSerious editing required
You need to have someone proof read your story before submission. Seriously unable to follow the storyline due to your lack of grammar ,punctuation & spelling.
The build up to the next chapter also needs work.
You can't have them both stand there naked as the day they were born and stop at her touching him.
That's like putting an advert in a 007 movie just as Bond is in the process of rescueing the girl and defusing the bomb whilst fighting off the bad guy. Come on dude.
Just my opinion I may be wrong but I seriously doubt it.
Epiphany_Jonesalmost 7 years agoThe only reason you got a 1-star for this is because I couldn't give you a negative number.
Man does this pile of shit stink.
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