by RothkoJamesHart
The fact that they were only boyfriend and girlfriend lessened the emotional impact of the story. The set up was good but this type of betrayal should get ones pulse beating faster.
why all the cheating and betrayal.her girlfriend helping her humilate james.where is the consequences of her actions.she just shit on people and it alright,what your plot here writer.what are you trying to tell us.
Who cares? It's not the same as if they are husband and wife. B/F and G/F = NO committment.
You can leave a boyfriend anytime. no children? Tell James to hit the fucking road James, and don't come back no mo, no mo, no mo. Anytime you want with no reprecussions. If there is not a marriage vow to be broken, then the story is lessened somewhat, in my mind anyway.
Of course this is only chapter 1. Perhaps she will go ahead and keep fucking around and marry James. Perhaps she will be stump bred or get a disease and pass it on to James. Then it will be a story worth reading. Until then, just a woman sewing her wild oats much like a guy.
The younger generation doesn't really commit to marriage any longer anyway, so I suspect that the author is young too. Some have two or three kids for the state to raise, and have never been married.
the writers??? Sad in a way. Pathetic in another. What is your aim writer - savage man, humiliated man and whore? It appears they are in training for an english marriage of pimping wifey poo and self cuckolding himself - right.
Then there is the everlasting question - When does the sensual stuff start in your mind?
As a reader I empathize with James more than with Claire, so I'd like to see her suffer for her betrayal, but I don't see how this is likely given their relationship. They seem badly mismatched, and it seems they would both be better off if it were over. How do you plan to make us believe it matters to her when she gets caught?
Have the natural distinctions between being married and just living together become so blurred that cheating girlfriends are considered the same as cheating wives?
These writers are numb-nuts.
Baloney!!!
Look I’m not any kind of a writer just a reader. I just didn’t get any real sensual or erotic feelings here. Maybe if you got into the participants minds a little bit it might pick up images more. Some authors like “DG Hear”, “Jackiegirl”, Vastiesmith”,“Joesephus”, “haremgirl” and so many others spin the story to make you think you are there experiencing and seeing and feeling it all in you mind.
With them not being married there are no serious consequences to the cheating. They are just trying things out together and if it doesn’t work just walk away.
Please understand I could not write as well as you so please don’t take the criticism as a rebuff as I have no literary education. I just know how some writings can affect me.
Keep writing
Since they are not married, why is it in Loving Wives?
Why are they even together for that matter... she clearly cares nothing for him.
boyfriend his freedom. He loves her and she is just a fucking slut whore. He has to have his revenge you owe him that much. Look if you don't want to write it, I will be happy to do it. Let me know.
The pity of it all as marriage will enhance their painful non-sharing if the writers tendencies are forecast accurately. He will humiliate himself while she disrespects him as he watches the big cocks he desires - stay tuned sicko's - it's the Brit. Cuckster Show again and again and again.
Get a little respect writer - try something in a more humane and challenging theme - you know like pissing or---
You seem to have enough talent to avoid the fetish type sicko stuff. Please think about it.
If you write a second chapter please give it to him. The bitch he is in love with is a big fucking whore and needs to be taught a lession.
Cheating is what gets this guy off. He and a few others (those who cheat or are single) get off on this stuff. The author has never been attached. He doesn't understand the emotional devestation that happens when someone cheats in a relationship.
I know that they are just boyfriend and girlfriend but they can still have the same emotions as a newly married couple. Especially if they have been dating for a while. A betrayal would still hurt quite a bit.
I think it is in the water. The Wanderer and Robert12 must have their water shipped in from somewhere else.
Keep writing!
Regarding the negative comments, the story intent was clearly outlined in the intro. If it's not for you, don't read it.
Fuck you writer. You are not an author. Refrain from posting more of your shitty stories if you don't like my comment.
Don't be disheartened by the negative comments. I loved this story and I'm sure many, many others do too. Cheating stories are my favourite fantasy and I use them to occasionally spice up sex with my wife. This site is a story site not a 'real life experience' site after all! More of the same please.
your story was good.If litrotica was full of long romantic tales of wives and husbands gettiing along and solving all their problems together, than it would be leave it to beaver (pun unintended). This site is inclusive of a million different fantasies, and some of these people don't seem to get that. I think the feeling of sadness for james and anger at claire you're left with at the end is part of what makes this good. The world is full of milquetoast men and cheating bitches( but probably not full of people named carrick. that was ridiculous.)That said, it is a little hard to beleive that claire and james would have stayed together this long. her favorite thing is dancing in clubs, and he falls asleep on the couch ten minutes after they get there?but that's all I got.write some more.
A good ending is when james catches her and kicks her out, bouncing her ass down the sidewalk!!!
Firstly I loved the story. Good build up, tho I think the ending could have been extended or taken outside of the club for further humiliation of James. This is part 1 tho right?
Just wondered if this was all fantasy or an extension of your own fears about your current or a previous partner.
Chloe is a limp-brained pig. Claire is even a bigger pig even if she has some intelligence. And he is a complete wimp. Who cares about any of them? If he had found out it was her in the toilet it wouldn't have made a whit of difference. He lets her compel him to go to the club regularly, leaves him alone to enjoy herself with other men, comes home late at night, humiliates him in front of her friend and he does nothing. So we know he'll do nothing no matter what she does. The most interesting character in the story was, I don't know, was there a hat check girl somewhere?
I'm really surprised by the outraged tone of many of the comments. I would think that, given the variety of the subject matter here and the high volume of visitation to much of the kinkiest stuff, that there would be more restraint and even sympathy from the readers. But no. How funny! And what about the guy who protests that infidelity is devistatingly painful to the cuckolded? I thought I was reading from a swinger's self-help book or something! What an eye opener. Thanks everybody! Very entertaining!
why the hell are they bf/gf? The only message you sent out was that Claire really doesn't give a fuck about her bf's feelings and he puts out to whatever she says.
Why would I feel a thing if she cheats on him? I wouldn't feel anything if she fucked everybody on the dance floor. She appears to me like another whore slut with no care about anybody but herself. I bet she is just with James because of his money. Heck, even her girlfriend told her she would be better off without James.
The sex scenes were good but you left me not caring about Claire or James.
I sure wouldn't marry her.... thats for sure. She shouldne dumped
great start to the story cant wait for the next chapter hope it posted soon
The sooner claire is beaten and raped the better off the world will be
You write well enough. The characters inner dialog is interesting but, at least in the case of James, never explains why he stays with such an obviously mismatched GF. Also, since no-one is married, I assume the story will go on for many chapters, James and Claire will marry, and Claire will cheat before, during and after the wedding. It appears that you plan to have Claire continually conflicted, James continually perplexed and cuckolded, and every one else just continue.
Thanks for writing.
Great story, nothing like a 50 year old tramp getting laid in a public toilet. I aasume she's fifty and that the boyfriend is younger since she wanted to spend her time in the 60's room and him in the 80's room. Do everyone a favor and screw this slut over in an amazing fashion in your future chapters or this story is going to get as old as the Bitch herself!
so it says at the beginning that if you dont like the cheating theme DONT READ THE STORY.for all of you that have issues with it its prolly because you've been unable to keep your other half from fucking someone else and you hate that fact.long and short of it is that dont read it if you knwo its about cheating.fuck does it take a genuis to figure that out.