All Comments on 'The Family Comes First'

the length is not only no sweat for me (I love longer stories, not your 3-page "stroke" ones; hell, I've browsed through Stephen Wolfram's A New Kind of Science, 1,300 or so pages; Newton's Principia, 1,200 or so; Crime and Punishment as well as War and Peace! ;o), but it is also very commendable!

however, a story of this length, you ought to NEVER, or almost never, open with penises and vagina rubbing against each other for the first 20 or so paragraphs!

it's a complete turn off with such excess and exaggeration!

a story this long --- likely 50 plus pages --- you should spend the first 5/10 pages or so doing CHARACTER building; make sure we truly love (or love to hate) the main characters BEFORE setting them upon each other.

it goes without saying, i've had enough after the first two pages; i know the next 50 pages won't be much different from those previous 2 pages I've read through.

give no excuse and you go and write some more.you can't win the cliffhanging group.and the cockold group want there way,and you can't please them all.so look go and do your thing and let them learn something.just to show how stupid some writer are ,this writer had a great story line going,the comment were great,so he change and started writing a story about crap and ego on his asshole,he stop writing the good story.people know good writing and you 're doing good so keep it up.all your stories are good and funny.

You have an amazing imagination. Thank you for sharing it with us.

So Well written , and your ability to keep the story on task.. THANKS !!!

I was ready to murder you for your huge over use of the following words:

Darling

Spunk

Cunny

Arsehole

er, erm, cock

This was so friggen boring to read, you just jumped right into the fucking, and it never got any better.

Even for a story there was some highly non logical points:

1. Why does every single girl that see's Johns cock, want to fuck him? That would NEVER fucking happen in real life, nor would many people want 2 or more somes, and not with incest.

2. No man can fuck that many times. It would hardly be pre cum at the end.

3. If they are getting each other off in restaurants, someone would notice.

4. Not many girlfriends would ever share their man, and not with a sister, and many other girls.

5. You'd more than likely be fired for dating a person that works with you.

You must have a really tiny cock to think of a massive steaming pile of shit, such as this.

NEVER write again.

I really enjoyed your story, and while I found many syntax and spelling errors they were not so bad as to detract from the flow of the story. I enjoyed the story for what it was, an erotic fantasy. I kind of hope that you will at some time in the future have a continuation of this piece detailing the further adventures of Josie and John, June and her search for happiness and the visit to John and June's mother and her life.

dont get me wrong i love a good 4 or 5 or even a good 10page story but 17 is really pushing it.there were times when i thought oh after this page will be a new chapter but no just another fucking page!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!but what made it worse for me was that your plot was amazing but your characters where weak.The only really hot sex scene was the office fuck in the beginning.Your characters make it seem like you just pulled this out of you ass(and NOT in a good way!) they thoroughly cheapen your work.But seriously WHO THE HELL WANTS TO FUCKING READ A FUCKING 17 PAGE STORY?!?!??!?!?!?!?!? i had a nice buzz goin from other storys (i mean i was an inch away from having one of the most powerful orgasms in my life and i thought that this could push me over.........Im now dry as a bone and this just ruined my chances at sex for the next 24 hours cuz ill be to busy trying to get horny again.this was not only a fail but a super EPIC fail.Maybe if you had someone work with you on the character and shorten the mother fucking story it would be better!!!! but what do i know im just one of the million that might read this and think"hoy shit this is fucking longggg!!"all in all i say try again but thats just my opinion.

i agree 17 pages is to long but I did enjoy your story. It could have or should have been several chapters. It's just took to long to read.

very good and long story for once not a short one for sure, could use some proofing tho as some of it is slightly goofed such as the time June drives car from the marina after fucking barny and it says it is her first time when pages earlier both her and josie had taken turns driving the car so it was actually her 2nd time. Over all though very very enjoyable with a lot of extra stuff other then fucking or a build up to fucking with no other content like most stories. And the number of pages to the story was fantastic as well.

Great long wet story loved it look forward to more like it

This was a great story, how about a sequel? It would be a shame for the story to die as it was getting great!

More please, so much more sexy fun to be had yet.

There is no doubt that this story is well written, and that the plot is carefully constructed. That said, the repeated reference to urination is most unfortunate, and a real turn off in the story. It is also a shame that this very talented author chose to make this an incest story, rather than to make it a romance. The Romance genre is greatly neglected by many fine writers, while the Incest genre has been done almost to death. The challenge in writing this story in the Romance genre would be greater, but it is certainly not beyond the capabilities of the excellent writer of The Family.

I like the "long story" format this writer uses...keeps me engaged and wanting to see how the whole thing pans out.

However, there is too much repetitive use of 'darling' as a term of endearment; the author focuses on urination, big dicks/boobs, anal sex, with very little development going on.

Sorry, Four**4**Stars only for this one!!🫤