The Fifth Ch. 06

So it was with a great deal of consternation when after over a year of correspondence between them he received a post from Edward suggesting that his Lady was interested in acquiring a new slave, and that Edward thought that this would be a perfect opportunity for him to stop yearning and actually start living the life he professed to want to have. This brought Jared into a serious quandary. He had never really expected any such offer to occur, even as he had inwardly fantasized it so. Presented with the reality however he could not see how it would not end in any way except in pain and disaster. After a day of tortured indecision he crafted a response indicating reasons why he would not be up to the task. Edward's answering salvo not only played down these 'concerns', but offered every rationale of why he should proceed. If only Edward really knew. But Jared's paper thin defenses crumbled. Despite his protestations, even to himself, he knew that he wanted this. Badly. Even as he believed and feared that this would be how it would end. But he had to try, or he would never be able to live with himself again.

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As he knelt up naked in front of her after all of these years Jared was at a total loss in imagining how Deanna would react. He had of course anticipated some degree of anger, even possibly rage until her shock subsided, but nothing like the wrath that was now being directed not at him, but rather at Edward as she 'explained' just whom Jared was. He could not allow his friend to bear what should be directed solely and deservedly only at him.

"Edward didn't know, My Lady." he ventured forth.

"Well he should have" she practically screamed. She shuddered, and made a visible effort to collect herself taking several deep breaths. "No, that may be unfair." she finally conceded, looking only at Edward. "I really shouldn't find so much fault with anyone being taken in by someone who is so obviously practiced in deceit."

She slowly turned her eyes, which had been so aflame with fury but were now cold as ice, to the figure kneeling before her.

"What can you possibly want here, Jared?". She spat out his name with utter disgust.

He gathered himself. This was the moment and he would keep it short and simple. No lengthy explanations or entreaties.

"I want to be your slave, My Lady."

"I'm not your Lady." she replied in a rush. "I will never BE your Lady. You were given that choice once before, and as I told you then it would be the only chance you would ever have to take it. And you rejected it."

The pain in those last words was palpable to all and brought Edward out of his anguished haze.

"Let me take him from here and send him on his way, My Lady."

"NO." she responded sharply. For reasons she didn't fully understand she couldn't bring herself to order him away. He had to be the one to leave, of his own volition. As he had done before, he had to do again. She would not be the one to force him to go, even as she would make it clear to him how unwelcome his presence was.

"No Edward." she repeated more calmly. "He has to leave of his own accord as he did once before. Only that time I wanted him to stay. This time there is nothing that I want more than for him to be gone. Forever."

She turned her attention to him once again. "So Jared, understanding that, and make no mistake about it, do you still wish to stay?" she asked with pure disdain in her voice.

"Yes ... Ma'am."

Deanna's eyes blazed once again. How could he be doing this? And the bigger question was Why? Too late she realized that she had painted herself into a corner with no easy way out. She desperately wanted him to leave but she needed him to decide to go on his own. There was no way that she could allow HIM to become the wronged one, the victim, as he had caused her to be all those years ago. He had been the one to leave before and he had to be the one to do so again. She couldn't let him get off so easily. She would not be the one to force him to go and allow him to believe that the scales had somehow been balanced. That could never be. No, she had to find a way to convince him to leave on his own, to be the perpetrator, the snake, once again. And she had to find it right away. But what? A glimmer of an idea began to form and she grabbed onto it with force. He certainly wouldn't put up with this. She bore her gaze down upon him once again.

"So you came here to be a slave, is that what you're saying, Jared?"

Jared bowed his head. "Yes Ma'am." he answered softly.

"Well if you truly want to stay it can only be as a slave." She paused and then continued with vehemence. "But NOT as MY slave. You will never be MY slave. To remain here it will only be as the personal slave of all of the rest of my slaves. Then you will find out what being a slave is really all about."

Edward took an anxious step forward. "My Lady, I don't think ..."

"Edward!" came the pointed rebuff which silenced him immediately.

"So Jared," she continued, "you would be the slave of my slaves, to be used in any way that they see fit, and I'm sure that they will find any number of interesting ways to use you, not only to ease the many burdens I lay on them, but also for their own amusement. And it will remain that way until you finally choose to leave. Which will again be the only choice allowed for you to make." She paused again to drive home her point. "I ask you then one last time. Is this what you want?"

Jared was seriously shaken, and he struggled to maintain his outward composure. This was most definitely not what he wanted. But he had come so far and he was so lost. He needed her so much. He slowly raised his head and eyes to meet her glare.

"As you will, Ma'am."

A sharp intake of breath. "No, as YOU will, Jared. I will have nothing to do with it. Or with you." For the briefest of moments a flicker of doubt, even of fear, played across her eyes before they returned to frost. An exhale. "So be it then." she finally proclaimed. She broke their eye contact and turned back to Edward. "Edward, take this piece of trash and deposit it somewhere, and then gather all the rest and come to me so I can inform you all of ... the new circumstances."

"As you command, My Lady." Edward, with undisguised enmity, then prodded the still kneeling Jared up and led him out of the room.

Watching them leave Deanna couldn't help but feel unsettled. 'A new challenge', Edward had said as they had embarked on all of this. Well it certainly would be that she had to concede, but a far different one than either of them had ever envisioned. But, she vowed to herself, it was a challenge she was determined to win.