The Final Insult Ch. 04

"She was pregnant when Dad mated her about four months later."

"Joy, Alana, and Callum were born first. I came next, three years later. Next was Shawna and Sandra, then Emma, then Ryan. And Devon and Bev were born after Dad died of the virus. I'm named after Mom's father."

Ethan was amazed at all the luxuries that they had, considering how he grew up. He lingered in the entertainment room, looking through the movies, and the books. He was both pleased and a bit frightened to find out his room wasn't very far from Anne's. He spent part of the next day in the workshop, looking at the tools, through the wood. Then, since Anne was still recovering, he asked if someone would go in with him so he can see his sons. Alana obliged.

*****

The next morning, Ethan was closest, on his way to see his sons again, when the anguished scream echoed down the corridor. "NOOO!" He headed to Anne's room at a dead run, followed by several others.

Tears were rolling down her face as she puffed tiny breaths into Erich's mouth and nose. "Breathe, Erich. Breathe, baby."

His heart thudded in his chest. Evan was crying in the crib. Anne kept puffing little breaths, watching Erich's chest rise and fall. Alana and Beth came up to her. "Let me try?" Anne looked at them and passed Erich to Beth with shaky hands.

Beth tried puffing little breaths in as she looked Erich over. His eyes looked fine. She opened the hide and touched him. He felt cool to her. "Please, please, please." Anne was pleading with her. Beth pulled Alana's hand to touch the baby and she closed her eyes in acknowledgment, tearing up. "Breathe, Erich."

"He's gone, Anne."

She moved to take him back. "No. He can't be." Beth kept hold of the tiny body. "I'm sorry." Beth turned for the door. Anne lunged at her. "He's not. Give him back." Ethan grabbed her. "Let me go you son of a bitch!"

Ethan turned her to face him and pulled his arms tightly around her, and pulled her against him. Emotion coloring his voice, Ethan said, "He's dead, Anne. Our son is dead."

She pounded on his chest, screaming, "Don't you say that to me. Get OUT!"

He continued to hold her, struggling in his arms, as the others left the room. He held her, crying and pleading, as tears ran down his face, and Evan cried in the crib.

Finally, a little quieter, she pushed at Ethan's chest. "I have to feed Evan."

He released her and she turned to the crib. Picking up her remaining son, she sat in the rocker and settled him at a breast. He suckled, whimpering a little, as her eyes closed and the tears continued to roll down her cheeks.

He watched her for a moment, walked behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She flinched away from the contact. He took a deep breath and left the room, passing Callum in the hallway.

He wandered into the workshop, selected a piece of wood, and set to work.

Callum took a deep breath before entering his mother's room. Evan was rubbing his eyes and she was stroking his back.

"Mom?" She opened her eyes to look at him. "Is there.. somewhere special that you want him?"

"With his fath.." She closed her eyes and swallowed. "Could you put him with Devon?"

"Sure, Mom. The weather's still good. We'll do it this afternoon."

The members of the McKenna pack, and Ethan Matlin, stood in sorrow as the baby was placed in the ground above Devon. Ethan stood to one side, stoically, as his son was lowered gently into the grave. Anne was curled up on her bed, grieving in her way. The dirt was replaced and Ethan placed a marker on the freshly turned earth. The carving stated, simply, 'Erich, my son.'

Callum clapped him on the back. "I'm really sorry."

"Why isn't she here?"

"I don't know. She wasn't here when we buried Dad either. I guess she just can't stand to see 'em go in the ground."

Beth turned back, looking at him standing over the grave of a baby. She let go of Nick's hand and walked over to him. "There's nothing as awful as losing a baby."

"I didn't even get to know him."

"You'll know him through his brother, and his mother."

"What about her?"

Beth sighed deeply and looked at him. "She's in a lot of pain right now. I think she blames herself. You should know that, as soon as she found out she was pregnant, she wanted us to abort them. She believed that it was you, a Matlin, who had gotten her pregnant. And the last thing she wanted in the world was to have one growing inside her. But, we wouldn't help her and I think she may have tried something herself. But, obviously, it didn't work. She was out of sorts the whole pregnancy. And now that Erich has died..." An exhale. "She's never lost a baby before and she hasn't been the same since Devon died. I don't know how to get her out of the dark place she's in. It's like she's dying a little bit each day. She's surrounded by people who love her and is still utterly alone. If she didn't have Evan I'd be even more worried about her."

She looked at him more closely. "Don't be surprised when she runs."

"What? Away? She'd leave Evan? Or take him with her?"

"No, no, nothing like that. She runs to keep from thinking about it too much. Outside, if she can. She can't go fast enough in the tunnels, but she'll run those too."

"Can you think of anything I can do to help her?"

Beth heard the sincerity in his voice, looks at him. "You're falling in love with her."

"No." The denial was a little too quick. "She's the mother of my children", he closed his eyes, "my son. I want them both to be happy."

"She wants to be tough and independent. She wants to believe she doesn't need anyone, but she does. She can hold a grudge forever. She's very passionate and very stubborn."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"She's much happier with a mate." Ethan raised his eyebrows at her, his eyes wide. "I'm not suggesting now. But, go, see your son, talk to her. You've both lost a child. If this hasn't stamped out any feelings but grief in her, she'll start to smile again. It's going to take time. Just, be careful about touching her, don't get her mad."

"It's strange, something just makes me want to hold her, touch her. Of course, on top of that, I think, I wish we could find a way to comfort each other right now. We've both lost our son."

"You think it's bad now? Just wait a couple of months. Devon and I had some good talks about this. Her scent is going to change, and get stronger. And we're going to be stuck in here all winter."

Ethan let out a breath, looked at the ground. "Maybe I should just go, now, while I've got the chance."

Beth turned to go back inside. "No. Don't."

The weather turned back for the worse; the snow built. Anne was found some mornings in the meeting hall, in the entertainment room, in other odd places, asleep with Evan. He fussed regularly the first few weeks, missing his brother. Anne had trouble sleeping, herself, and walked the halls at night, with her infant son. Ethan took to making late night/early morning rounds and covering them when he found them.

Still weakened, she started running the tunnels. But she tired easily and gave up after a few days. She wrote in her journal, read, and was occasionally coaxed into watching a movie. She finally smiled one day when Alana pulled her hand to her own belly, to feel the movement of her second grandchild.

Evan grew stronger. Running around, playing with the other pups. He settled down at night and started demanding all of his mother's attention.

Ethan had been more or less accepted into the pack. The others asked him about his life with the humans, life in the Matlin pack, his plans. He helped out where he could and was generally kind and courteous to everyone. He spent time in the workshop, trying out the equipment, checking the wood.

Grudgingly, Anne allowed him to pick up and play with his son. Ethan smiled, laughed, and marveled at his firstborn.

He settled in, comfortable in some ways, uncomfortable in others. It felt good to be part of a pack again. But they'd put him in Duncan's room, which seemed very weird. And then there was her. She didn't look at him, barely spoke to him. A grudge was right; he racked his brains for anything to change her opinion of him.

It was about 7 weeks later that he understood what Beth had meant about her scent. It had changed, and was stronger.

In Medical, an examination showed her to be healed from the birth. She was reminded to get more protein while she was nursing and released. She was still not up to full strength, but essentially recovered.

Ethan had been tinkering around in the workshop. He'd already fixed some of the chairs. Some of the cabinet doors needed work. While he could, of course, do utilitarian things with wood, he really enjoyed carving.

He removed a couple of the doors, just simple solid panels, and cleaned them up. Taking his time, and humming, he looked over the doors remaining, the layout of the cabinets, and designed a rather intricate scroll work pattern to overlay on them.

A small child wandered into the workshop, sucking her thumb and trailing a small, very dirty afghan. Ethan looked up from his work. "Hello, little one. Are you looking for someone?"

"Do you like my mommy?"

He was taken aback by such a direct question from one so small. He crouched down next to her and sniffed. "You're Bev, aren't you?" Looking at him, wide-eyed, she nodded. "Why would you ask such a question?"

"Cuz mommy needs a mate and then I could have a daddy. My daddy died. So, do you? Like mommy? Do you?"

Those wide, innocent blue eyes continued to stare at him until he said, "Yes."

She now ran out of the room, squealing with delight. Great. She'd probably run around telling everyone and it would probably upset Anne that she had been so close to him.

He carved and set the first door and started work on the second. The women all admired the work as he went back to continue what he was doing.

Anne came into the kitchen and was called over to look at it.

"Mom, look at this, isn't it gorgeous? Ethan carved it."

Anne went shock still. "Ethan?"

"Yea, are you alright?"

She turned, shaken and angry, and made for the workshop. Ethan made an unintended gouge in the piece he was working on as she slammed in and started yelling at him. "What are you doing in here? Get OUT!"

"Why? I'm just trying to help."

She gritted her teeth and her voice dropped low. "I don't have to explain myself to you. Get out of Devon's workshop."

Ah! So that was it. "No."

Her chest started to heave in anger and her eyes began to shift color, lightening, then glowing amber. Her hands were now fisted.

He looked at her, amazed at her eyes; he could feel the rage rolling off her. To be the object of such intense emotion.

"I'm not hurting anything. It's a shame to waste such well kept tools. They should be used, to build, to fix, to create."

"What would you know about creation?" She moved closer to him, shaking, her eyes burning brightly. Callum, Beth, Alana, and Eddy stood outside, watching the confrontation, ready to intervene.

"I know you've got this idea fixed in your head that I'm some kind of monster. And it's buried so deep", he pointed at her forehead, careful not to touch her, "that you refuse to see the evidence all around you." A low growl rumbled in her throat.

"Devon could've taken over the pack, changed everything, but he chose not to."

"He'd have been dead within a year."

"Maybe. But did you think things would change overnight? I wasn't part of it. I left. After Devon killed my father..."

"Devon didn't kill Ian." she stepped up to him, watching his eyes, "I did."

He looked at her, shocked and amazed. Callum moved to enter the room. Eddy, in lockstep with him. Beth put a hand on Callum's forearm. "You..."

"...killed Ian. Me."

He grabbed her arms. She looked at him, as if daring him to retaliate. She hissed at him under her breath. "Do it."