All Comments on 'The First Date'

But I found the tense used when they got to the apartment distracting.. 'she spreads her legs". Try "she spread her legs" instead. It's easier to read.

Good story.

Julie

There's a reason the "Girl meets girl, girl loses girl, girl gets girl back" paradigm works - the tension and suspense of the middle makes the ending that much more satisfying. But the mechanics are good and I hope you'll do more. I'm certainly looking forward to reading more from you!

A very hot and steamy story. There were some issues that an editor could have fixed but it was still well written.