All Comments on 'The First Encounter'

by 789xxx

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  • 5 Comments
FantaghiroFantaghiroover 7 years ago
Nice Fantasy ...

... will you continue their story, please?

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Very nice, if a little rushed. More please?

Quite nice, really. Seemed to move a little more rapidly than I have experienced. (Maybe she was 'hot' in one sense, and he in another.

Again - more please.

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Couldn't get past second person pronouns

I'm sorry, but the second person pronouns really put me off. Try first person, I, I, I, instead of "You, you, you" next time.

techreadertechreaderover 7 years ago
Second Person Doesn't Really Work

Erotic stories in the second person ("you"", rather than "I" or "he/she") is difficult to pull off, and this didn't quite do it. Otherwise, not a bad little vignette.

arch3rarch3rover 7 years ago
Loved it

Loved the story! Write more please!!

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