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All Comments on 'The First Encounter'
by 789xxx
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- 5 Comments
Anonymousover 7 years agoVery nice, if a little rushed. More please?
Quite nice, really. Seemed to move a little more rapidly than I have experienced. (Maybe she was 'hot' in one sense, and he in another.
Again - more please.
Anonymousover 7 years agoCouldn't get past second person pronouns
I'm sorry, but the second person pronouns really put me off. Try first person, I, I, I, instead of "You, you, you" next time.
techreaderover 7 years agoSecond Person Doesn't Really Work
Erotic stories in the second person ("you"", rather than "I" or "he/she") is difficult to pull off, and this didn't quite do it. Otherwise, not a bad little vignette.
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