by 789xxx
Quite nice, really. Seemed to move a little more rapidly than I have experienced. (Maybe she was 'hot' in one sense, and he in another.
Again - more please.
I'm sorry, but the second person pronouns really put me off. Try first person, I, I, I, instead of "You, you, you" next time.
Erotic stories in the second person ("you"", rather than "I" or "he/she") is difficult to pull off, and this didn't quite do it. Otherwise, not a bad little vignette.