All Comments on 'The First One'

Enchanting, romantic, hopeful, realistic, beautiful, touching, heartwarming. Receiving love via family, friends and a special man is a marvelous Christmas gift. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

But still good. 4*

Merry Christmas !!!!!! Thanks love.

Are you an ex-jw? This story hits so many true notes about that experience. Good job.

Five.

I love Frances...she is a great friend. We need a follow up to this with Frances finding some romance.

You couldn't have submitted this for the Christmas story contest, because it is a winner! You are far from "average" by the way...what is that in this case, an oxymoron? Or irony? I guess "awsmblkgrl" might sound too conceited huh? But it is accurate, because your work IS awesome!

This was a great story hope there is a follow up

Some spelling errors, but I'm a sucker for a good romance story. Why lit has to differentiate between erotic couplings, and interracial, and romance is a whole other peeve. Great job. 5 stars.

It should have been nodded her head in agreement, Head shakes are for disagreeing or saying no.

Loved this story. It was long enough, great character development, a great sex scene. It was perfect and I loved it. Hope you add more to it!!!

Your story is GREAT, and average black girl should never be used when it comes to your writing...you are anything but that!

Story and character development was great and I know we are nowhere close to seeing the end of the Gary and Simone story. Thanks to Frances for being a matchmaker, without her those two would never have gotten together. I eagerly await the next update.

5 stars!

hello....

Just wanted to say this was a good story. Touched off quite a few emotions in me. The sex scene was almost not needed. The story had plot and dialogue and situation. Well done indeed.

Your writing could have used a little editing to polish it up.

Look me up if you want some help. - JonB1969

...but your post in the forum caught my eye, and while I'm still firmly in the lezzie camp, I've got to tell you that your work here is top-notch. Barring a couple of nitpicks (the afore-mentioned head shaking, etc...), I really cannot complain. Writing an emotional story without dripping down into melodrama is not easy, but you walk the balance here just fine.

Excellent work, and I'll agree with one of the previous commenters: you've earned the right to drop 'Average' from your moniker. Graduate to 'awesome' or 'amazing' or 'absolutely worth reading'. :)

Yes, this is such a endearing read with a little edge. It's easy to fall in love with all the characters. It made me a bit emotional. I found out about you on Face Book. You need your own website. Your life is as interesting as your stories and poems. Please don't leave us here though. Come back and finish this one. Please.

Thanks so much for the responses to my simple little tale. I wanted to do something for the holiday, but that could transcend it as well. It has a lot of me in it and a lot of creative lead way. I'll let you decide which is which.

I try to return comments to all those who leave there handles. I enjoy the exchange. So thank you for that as well. I'm not going to leave you hanging on this one. Life is loosening up its grip and I have much more time to write fiction. So, be patient I'm on it. No more long breaks in between submissions. I appreciate all of you that come back and hang on in there with me. I really do.

With love,

AvrgBlkGrl

Great story, I hadn't read one of yours in a while.

I enjoyed your story, and appreciate the effort you put into building the characters. Excellent imagery as well. Thanks for sharing this! 5 *****

Of course, it was wonderful! Such character build up in only 3 pages. I would love to see this story continue. And I loved Francis! She is a G. Thanks for another awesome story :)

The character development of Frances and Simone was excellent. I enjoyed reading stories like this where its not a rich lifestyle but an everyday woman who had a setback.You found yourself rooting for Simone because of her struggle to start a new life.

When I met my wife, she had a 4 year old son and was in the process of divorcing her husband who preferred 13 year old girls. My wife loved her children and overcame her poor treatment to become a fun-loving, hard working wife. May all of the single mom's out there find someone like Gary who will appreciate them and love them. Thank you for a great story!

The author is smart. She has the gift of painting pictures with words. She brings pleasure to her readers.

This is a very sweet story. I wish there was more to it. I know it's just a one-off, but I'd love to see more of Gary and Simone.

I love the story but I would love it even more if it didn't have the cliche single black mother trope. I'm a little sensitive to it because I notice that a lot of black female love stories, especially dark-skinned women stories, have this trope and cannot just write a simple love story between a beautiful childless black woman and whatever amazing man who loves her.

Don't misunderstand, I do respect your creativity but would love to see well fleshed out stories like yours is, but that feature a beautiful black woman who hasn't had to deal with some kind of struggle in her life and doesn't have to raise a child alone

Good but not as much fun as your other stories.... for me anyway

The characters

From the struggle of a single mum to the delight of a child, the matchmaker and the gentle lover. Maybe there is a Santa, not the old man in a white beard but the one who makes wishes come true and puts a smile in peoples hearts. You put one in mine, thank you.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 1/2

This is in response to the person who complained about the "single black mother trope".

Love stories come in every form and in every form of life. Why not a single black mother finding love? For many women, it's not just a "trope", it's a way of life. We have had struggles, hardships, heartaches, and pains. We have had to overcome abuse, rape, divorce, and many other forms of struggle in our lives. Maybe stories like these give us hope that we not only can find love just like the fictional Simone, but it also gives us hope that we freakin' deserve it! Some of my stories have single mothers and others don't.

There was nothing wrong with this story, except that maybe it was a bit too short. The only complaint I have is I wish Regina would start back writing and continue Simone and Gary's story.