All Comments on 'The First SaR Mission Ch. 03'

Enjoying your story so far, looking forward to the next posting.

Though the content isn't my cup of tea, you've done a much better job this chapter.

Though, "A pretty woman of average size with auburn hair is the first, from the end of one line, to round the back of one of the trailers. She, then, begins dragging a," has commas that are not needed. You are trying to hard in this instance to make more of something then it is.

I always suggest to writers to READ your story OUT LOUD to yourself, once, twice and then a third time. See if what you are saying makes sense to yourself. Do you pause? Do you pause in the right places? Does the sentence sound right on your tongue?

It truly helps to read them out loud.

Love the story and characters. Please keep going.

I am enjoying the story but the end always comes too soon.

Glad I stuck with this story as I like your sense of humor. Looking forward to more chapters. I can tell you have experience in this field. Fascinating details.

I would prefer to have run on sentences than to have so many inappropriate commas. Everyone makes mistakes, just don't keep repeating them. Even the comma commenter used 'to' when it should have been 'too' and 'then' when it should have been 'than'.