All Comments on 'The First Time I Saw You'

You have a bueatiful dramtic start. The only thing wrong with your story is that it keeps changing tense. That is why I only gave you a three. If you keep the story talking to "me", it would be more exciting. I would start to get hot then the tense would change to she instead of you. Get it? Otherwise is a wonderful story. You have a gift, keep it up!