The First Time Pt. 02

Admiration. Adoration.

Yes.

You loved it didn't you?

Yes.

You didn't have to appear strong. Didn't have to appear patient. Didn't need to know what you were doing - he did that all for you, didn't he?

Yes.

And it felt good, not having to make the decisions, didn't it? He told you, and that made it so much easier, didn't it?

YES!

With shaking hands (and that wasn't the drink fading), I picked up the phone. My god, how my heart thumped hard in my chest as I began dialling. He might not have been in. He might have someone round. He might have thought, fuck this... He threw himself at me last night, what a slut! The line connected and started to ring. I thought my heart was beating fast, but no, it got worse. I was at a point, I couldn't take the pressure any more. The more the phone rang, the more my heart, literally, jumped in my chest. Fear tightened and coiled itself around my body, squeezing and causing my face to flush. I could feel the phone next to my ear literally trembling in my hand. I could barely breathe. I was so close, so close to giving in to my fear, I slowly lifted it away from my ear to place it on the receiver.

"Hell-o?" I heard Mike say.

I looked at the phone, scared to answer, almost just as scared to keep looking at it. My hand, shaking terribly, I brought it slowly up to my ear, trying to stop myself, but I couldn't.

"H-H-Hi..." I could hear my own voice shaking. That quiver in your voice that causes the pitch to change, weave and wobble. I took a deep breath, trying to regain some composure.

"Steve!" There was a pause, and I swear I could almost feel his curling smile through the phone. "How are you feeling?" He sounded slightly cheeky.

"Better."

"That must have been a hangover from hell this morning. Or was it this afternoon?" I heard him chuckling.

"I have been up for a bit, but only just found your note."

"Ah!" There was pause for an agonizing moment. I stood there breathing erratically waiting for the silence to break. "Have you thought of my cock easing gently into you, opening you and making you moan louder than my fingers did?"

I didn't even think. Didn't even formulate an answer. "Yes," I said matter of factly, finally admitting it to someone.

There was another torturous pause. "Good," he finally said. "I want to hear your moans of wanting it. You sounded so needy and sexy last night, did you know that?"

I shook my head, did I? "No..."

"You can ask me again when it is right, just like you did last night."

I genuinely gasped at the thought.

Trying vainly to regain some control of myself I took a deep breath, holding the phone away from me. I closed my eyes and tried to regulate my breathing. Shame filled me. Pulling the phone back to my ear, scared my flatmates would hear me, I whispered into the phone, my hand curled around the mouth piece, almost confessing, "I feel like a slut for last night." The truth is I did, but not because of me asking him to fuck me. No, it was because, in my drunken state I had been abandoned and had gotten so horny, so wound up, so caught up in an ever-decreasing circle, that I had been willing to do anything to sate my need. The guys at the edge of the dance floor, near the toilets, what I had contemplated doing was something I had never thought I was capable of.

"Hush," he said, his voice warm and genuine. "Shh. Don't worry, being a slut isn't bad. Sluts just aren't afraid." There was an agonizing pause. "With me, you don't need to feel afraid. I won't hurt you. Do you want to feel like a slut again?"

I nodded, blissfully unaware that he couldn't see me. I was lost in some kind of fantasy of my own making, transported to a different place. I knew he was saying the words I needed to hear, but did that really matter? "Yes..." I whispered, my voice shaking when I came to my senses. I suddenly realised I was shaking, listening to his gentle but confident voice. I felt nervous, afraid. Scared and weak.

"Now tell me. What have you thought about?"

"Your tongue..." I said, not thinking it through, recoiling suddenly at my admission.

"Opening you, hmm?"

I could hear my voice, a soft whisper, edging near alarm. "Yes."

"You want to suck my cock, feel it get all hard because of your sexy mouth, don't you?" Again, I was nodding, shaking as he went on and on. "I don't need to tell you how to do it, do I? You're a natural. Never sucked before, had you? Christ! That was the best blowjob I have had in quite some time. Possibly ever. The things you could teach grown men who think they know how to suck a cock. Only real men can suck cock like you did. I have been wanking to the thought of your beautiful ass taking my cock after you have got it all hard because you know it is going to feel so good, don't you?"

The way he spoke, it broke me. Made me realise it was okay to love it. Suddenly, I wasn't afraid. Don't get me wrong: I didn't want people to know. But right there, right then, I wasn't afraid. If it felt good, what he did to me and what I did to him, what did it matter?

"And you moan so sexy, so needy. That's delicious and terribly cute. Makes me want to share you with another gentleman." I felt my knees tremble at the thought. "I'd love to watch you do it. Tongue you. Make you moan on his cock as I ease it into your lovely ass. Teach you how good it can feel. Let you be the slut you want to be and take away your fear."

I realised my breathing was short and shallow. I pulled the phone away from my ear for a moment to close my eyes. He'd been wanking to the thought of my mouth and my ass and like me had been thinking of other sexy things. Another man... presenting his hard cock for me to suck as Mike relaxed my ass! Would he put it in as I sucked? Would he put it in if I made him come? I realised my cock was hardening rapidly at the thought, and slowly I reached down to pull my rising, straining cock to the side and relieve the pressure.

"But that's another time," he said playfully. There was a soft snort from him, almost a giggle. "Time is linear remember?" Stupidly, I was nodding again.

"Experiences are timeless..." I finished, my voice teetering and wavering.

"Yes..." There was another pause as he sighed. I wondered if Mike was pleased I had remembered what he had said. "I am so hard for you because of last night. It took everything I had to be gentlemanly." Not giving me a second to respond, he continued, "Here's what we will do. Come to mine on Wednesday. I will have a special present to help make it so nice and gentle for you, and we will see how you feel. No pressure. I will only do what you want me to. Would you like that?"

"Yes," I said, not even thinking or realising what he was saying and implying.

"Good. Seven o'clock. You remember the number, don't you?"

"Yes..."

"Good. Phone me if you get cold feet. I'll bring you round. With me, you can be the slut you need to be. Just think of my cock wanting you and it hard in your mouth, and we can take it from there, nice and slowly," he said cheekily. "I'll let you work it like a real man while I work you."

We said our goodbyes, my head spinning, as I placed the receiver down with a large exhale. With the adrenaline coursing through me, I shook, this time, not with fear. God no, it wasn't fear. This time, it was with curiosity and excitement.

I was no longer afraid.