All Comments on 'The Freaky Friday Thing Ch. 01'

God I need to know where this story is going.

fantastic. 'looking forward to reading the next chapter

Keep it going.

I have encountered stories of siblings exchanging bodies before but this one intrigued me for its approach from a different angle and actually building the story up before the sad switch occurred. Characters seem fun and with potential to grow into sources of great entertainment, added secondary pairing of their teacher and her bro-husband adds another layer of fun and trust for the MCs though it also posts a threat to their relationship if you decide to mix them all for some sexy time down the road.

For now I like what I see and gave you a 4* for encouragement and hopefully the next one is already at the approval desk.

The game is Afoot.

Ignore that nightmare in the bathroom. Just another ugly refugee from the Love Generation, some doom-struck gimp who couldn't handle the pressure. My attorney has never been able to accept the notion—often espoused by reformed drug abusers and especially popular among those on probation—that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them. And neither have I, for that matter.

Jesus! Did I SAY that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me? I glanced over at my attorney, but he seemed oblivious...

By this time the drink was beginning to cut the acid and my hallucinations were down to a tolerable level. The room service waiter had a vaguely reptilian cast to his features, but I was no longer seeing huge pterodactyls lumbering around the corridors in pools of fresh blood. The only problem now was a gigantic neon sign outside the window, blocking our view of the mountains -- millions of colored balls running around a very complicated track, strange symbols & filigree, giving off a loud hum....

"Look outside," I said.

"Why?"

"There's a big ... machine in the sky, ... some kind of electric snake ... coming straight at us."

"Shoot it," said my attorney.

"Not yet," I said. "I want to study its habits.”

though I hope you wouldn't get the teacher involve with them after reading some hints with that but it's your story anyway so I wanna see where it goes...I just wanted them to get together by themselves without adding another sibling couple to the mix... I think it would ruin the romance there... still a good story so keep going

Checking daily for the next installment. Hope it is posted soon.

I was trying to rate this story but it read my attempt to move the screen on my phone to be my rating...which it is not.

Sorry

Why no action with the teacher?

Teacher and her brother.

Sounds interesting

I liked the writing. I would like a separate Susan and Jason story. You are doing well on the characters. I am aware how perilous their relationship could be. Everyone has a camera on their phone, & in Toronto you get on cctv about 3000 times a week. Security cameras, traffic cameras etc. I hope the slow burn believable dialogue continues.

Good start to a story. Could us some proof reading and a more centered approach. The story seems to be a little bit of a flow of consciousness more than a constructed story. Thanks for this work.