All Comments on 'The Furniture Store'

Interesting story but why end it there?

Would be nice...

I like how realistic everything was... And that a sociopath will always remain one no matter what, was a good lesson... So a little piece just to show that our protagonist is doing fine would be nice...

Really enjoyed the story and it ended well but I like loose ends tied up. It would be nice to have an epilogue with Olivia seeing the new successful store, Brenda and Mike married with at least 1 child and Olivia and Bruce financially screwed! For all that really enjoyed the story so thank you for writing and sharing.

Well written and realistic. No holes in the plot! Each character acted in a believable manner. The outcome was exactly what it should have been. Thank you! 5*

No extreme btb, just some good old fashioned use of his business skills to accomplish his payback... well done. A great plot, realistic characters & well written, everything a reader wants in a story. 5 *****

I liked it but wish I could have loved it. I do admire the purposeful pace the author kept from beginning to end. The story really snaps into an extra dimension when ' the bad guys' try to rationalize or explain their nefarious actions. The narrator does sound a bit stilted and it seems like justthejanitor tries to keep a leash on the opposition lest the reader get seduced away from the morality lesson du jour.

There aren't any weak passages to harp on . The best scenes without doubt are when first person narration is broken off in favor of two characters with opposing POVs vying for the readers' sympathy. I understood very well at the end that the narrator was not a life of the party guy, yet betraying his trust was strictly a move of short term indulgince.

This character might initially err, yet keeps always the end in mind and will eventually find his way. Just as the author did in telling this tale.. Kudos for that, I thank justthejanitor for sharing.

He has now written three different stories. All were very good and very well received, and all had very different types of cheating (on in Jolene non-cheating) wives. While the wife in gold for plastic had some of the same values as the wife in this story, they were quite different). His male protagonists also are different enough to make the works very non-formulaic.

I enjoyed it. Thanks! 5

Good story!

THANK YOU for not making Mike an accepting cuck or having him taking back the faithless wife!

Now, as to Ch 2....

Bruce, being the cheater he is, gives O a disease. Fatal or not, your call... ))

Mike gets a really great gal and has kids....

They discover oil on the duck hunting land....

And "Olivia's Replacement" does a booming business and becomes a nationwide chain! ))

I really liked it; clearly worth 5*

I guess in another life, she'd have made a good living off of American tourists in Tijuana.

Magnificent line.

A good story, but with some answered questions: 1st - What about the duck hunting land? 2nd - How could his ex-wife, the lover (after getting out of prison) and the lover's wife live without money? really I don't think that's necessary a part 2, but to make us see how the revenge got better than we could think, maybe a 2nd part is necessary...

The story was good but the ending sucked----I guess Finishthedarnstory will finish it.

Thoroughly enjoyed it.

Looking from Olivia's perspective, Bruce didn't have anything going for him except for his good look. He's not even a good bull-shitter and his business is failing. Bruce is clearly inferior to the husband So why did Olivia cheat with Bruce? Lust, pure and simple. Oh wait, excuse me, let's call it "capacity" for love. But that's mostly a male weakness.

It's usually the cheating husband who goes after and cheat with a good looking lover, while the cheating wife usually seek powerful men who can provide her with stability. Bruce clearly isn't a good provider. Does anyone else notice besides me how the male nemesis in the BTB stories is almost always a loser who is constantly being compared with the financially powerful and saintly husband? People usually succeed in their endeavors, so if cheating wives seek powerful men, they usually get them. The nemesis in real life is usually someone more successful than the husband. Ironically, the husband in the story is also an effeminate male who was the one being chased in the romance by a confident and aggressive soon to be female fiance.

So where is this heading? The point is the story is unbelievable. The roles of the wife and husband in the affair were reversed. The writer's assignment to the wife what is usually the husband's weakness shows that he is a hypocrite. It's also hard to sympathize with the husband when he's basically a woman. Try writing a real story for a real audience instead of writing revenge fantasies to a bunch of nerds who blame other people for their own failings.

Loved your story and character development. It made the read compelling. However, the ending without tying up the issues you used to creat the story left me wanting. You might consider a follow up or a rewrite of the last chapter.

Still worth 4 stars.

Thanks for sharing you talent.

Too unfinished. Didn't rate it because of that. If I rated it now it would be a 1. If a story isn't done I always rate it a 1. No matter how well written.

A very good read with good use situation and circumstances for the plot.

@ Anon you are ignorant. Nobel was one of the most wealthy man in the end of the XIX Century and he was a betrayed groom from a matematics and Nobel punished the all matematics! Many women cheat on her good husband because she wants a lover and a good provider husband on the same time, but they became hypocrats when the husbands would be lovers.

Please let Olivia eat her words. Prove her words to him wrong.

I've been here on Literotica for 12 years. I just KNEW the word "perseverate" would show up in a fuck story sooner or later.

Perseverate: repeat or prolong an action, thought, or utterance after the stimulus that prompted it has ceased.

I just thought it would be during sex.

Thanks, justthejanitor.

rj

and I learned a new word. I'll keep an eye out for your stories in the future.

This story begs for additional chapters because there is more than just a cheating wife, very well written.

No need for any more here, although there could be a sequel. Mike is now an older and wiser man. Why have any more to do with Olivia? There are plenty of women out there who are on the look out for a rich, successful businessman. He does not even have to look very hard.

So what happens next? I think a sequel would be great - a chance to see how Mike follows the "Go for It" mantra.

Little touches make the story. This was on the surface another trite cheating wife story. But 'trite' only applies to the plot, and honestly it isn't that bad a term because we've all written the exact same story.

It is the witty dialogue, the settings, the graphic emotions, and such which take it from 'girl cheat, man feel sad, they divorce' to something worth reading.

I love the receipt. Very nice little subtle point. Lots of authors seem to feel that the man needs to see deep penetration to know his spouse is cheating.

I liked the business machinations.

I didn't mind the metaphorical ellipse at the end of the story. I have hope for this man in the future and I don't need to see every detail. Better I imagine he goes off in happiness and success.

Oh...and I like how he broke his office window. That kind of visceral physical reaction is a nice touch.

But you know what else I liked? I liked Olivia! Yes! If you want to talk about 'trite' how many times have we had wives who were willing to wash their husbands feet with their tears and dry it with their hair because they were 'SO SAD' at losing the very center of their existence? Um...I would like to be married to such a woman, but I haven't MET many women like that. She wasn't just a punching bag. She had her own thoughts and feelings. She was wrong, but she wasn't some soppy mess. Her husband hurt her badly fiscally and legally and was she crying for another chance? A hot girl begging to go back? FAT FUCKING CHANCE! She was well aware of what she was and how much of a commodity she was...at least this second (She has no idea how...changing prison is likely to be on her body and soul. The bloom will very much come off the rose)

So I 'like' her in that I believed in her. She felt 'real' as a person, not a little dick seeking cartoon character.

A good read as I stated in a previous comment.

On reflection one of the anonymous comments about the wife who pursued her nerdy infeminate husband does have a small valid point.

Woman who are social lasfer climbers usually do pick strong, successful powerful men to get. Perhaps in this case the wife saw potential in the nerd and helped sculpt the husband into the man he is now.

As for the husband's nemesis being a loser of a man except for his good looks. Perhaps the way it could be interpreted thst the wife had an affair downwards which would give her a dense of power over the lover. As she was content in her life that she had with her husband, just wanted more sex !

It is not unreasonable to believe she was just in it for the sex with the loser lover. And no interest or intention to ever leave him as he provided her with very comfortable, stable lige style.

Perhaps she felt she deserved more fun with other lovers !

It was very well written. The story line was strong and had a few good twists. We all were on pins and needles when he put up such a large sum of money, but common sense prevailed and things went as they should. Unfortunately the idiot cheaters thought that they could convince Mike to treat them fairly and with kindness when they had been deceitful. So they "burned" themselves. It was a stroke of brilliance to give Olivia a lump sum and end up getting it back. Olivia was so full of her own shit that she never saw the light in her downfall. Another chapter where she sees the light would be a disservice to this profound truth. Five big stars! '

thanks for the offering.

Fantastic!

Congrats

....excellent use of a trite and somewhat overlong run-up to the discovery.

But you played the rest of the story like a virtuoso.

And thank you for taking the time and putting in the work to make the story clear, cohesive, consistent and clean (by that, I mean good technical presentation).

Frankly, I really liked that you hint that he's breaking with his long time past and whether in spite of, or because of Olivia's poisonous mind, stepping into a promising future with a tall, gorgeous blond in it. Or maybe that doesn't go anywhere, but he later finds a redhead that rattles his bones and sets his dick to steel every time she looks at him......and soon lets thoughts and feelings about Olivia fade into a distant past.

I like the how the discovery of the affair took place. Well done and well written so that we could get an idea of how the husband felt. I would like to have seen the wife developed more and try to understand where her mind set came from. I loved the ending, seeing the cheating wife actually lead the protagonist to making significant changes. Well done.

Very, very good. The story really drew me in sympathy with the protagonist. Emotionally moving with a more original plot. I'm liking it.

Could have used more depth, the relationship between the sisters should have been explored at greater length. Also how a bullshitter could seduce Olivia when already married to her sister needed to be told. These items are tied together and would have added length but also greater depth and impact. Exploring his background could have told why he has difficulty with women.

I don't normally say this but, this story cries to the heavens for a sequel!! I am curious about Mindy now her husband( bullshitter ) is home and has to make both sisters happy. Of course , his future needs to be told, lol. Your hero can't be left with a gleam in his eye and an empty heart & vacant lot!!

I see it now..........

AMerryMan

depressing for me.

no winners here. no happiness either.

Good tale of revenge. It wasn't a happy ending for our hero but a new beginning. No need for a sequel but if you decide to write one consider adding the other betrayed wife's tale and how our hero finds love again. Again, not necessary but would be an interesting read.

Pathetic as a writer. 1*.

... a rarity in these posts. To help you purify an excellent work, and as an admitted grammar nazi, I am compelled to point out a few errors:

page 1

… and then mused, for 15 or 20 minutes about all the possible reason's she'd be shopping there. (The plural of "reason" is "reasons." Leave off the possessive apostrophe; it isn't possessive.)

… indicated the store was open until 8 on weekdays, except Tuesday's when they closed at noon. (Same with "Tuesday's" --> "Tuesdays.")

page 3

The truth is, Bruce that people like you and I have a greater gift for love. ("People like you and me," please!)

A sequel? This was a good story on its own but you kind of left it open for more stuff. Just a thought...as always, a five.

Yes, you're right, no sequel NEEDED, but one would be nice.

Hopefully seeing our hero's re-birth, and the miserable existence of Olivia and Bruce.

and Mikey learns to like it once again. TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks for sharing.

You were direct and forceful. The story was excellently planned and executed. I gave it a five.

You obviously have no clue that the true fortune is/was in the duck hunting land! Do you think you may have an inclination of how much it's worth? Well, triple that a couple times and you may be close!

Please come back it's been to long.

I have to agree with others, this was a great read. Very well done!

To me, the transformation of a stories protagonist is the crux of the story. This one nails it. Olivia predicts his miserable future. He ponders and nearly succumbes to his usual nature. Then! Minor miracle of an intervention(but a believable one) and everything changes.

Great ending

Story thank you.

needed more burning

And now that the ex-wife has plead guilty to arson, he can sue her too, in civil court, for damages and loan fraud. Olivia and Bruce will be paying off this loan for the rest of their lives, unless bankruptcy can protect them. I don't think bankruptcy will protect you from fraud.

Thanks for the effort.

Another unfinished story

u need to finish them.

"because we have different values" - People with different values shouldn't be married to each other!

If you want to love more than one person at a time then don't get married, or into ANY committed relationship for that matter!

If you believe that marriage represents some sort of "medieval code" that you don't believe in, then don't enter into it!

I was going to down-grade this for being "unfinished", but then I realized that I was wrong, that it IS finished! He IS going top make a huge success out of the property, and he IS going to come out of his shell! Maybe not ultimately with Brenda but she'll be the first step!

The story is all set up to drive to an optimistic ending, that is basically implied. The wife was really tawdry and the whole situation was sad, so what would've redeemed this depressing account is the turning of the corner and the revenge of living well. Don't shortchange the readers and just leave it implied. I guess you didn't like the story either.

I don't understand all the cries to "finish this".

I will admit to initially having those feelings myself, but then I realized that his decision to follow the sign to "Go For It!", both with the re-build and in his social life, indicates that he is going to have that best revenge, a life lived well!

And you know what would happen if he attempted more than just an epilog (and I think we all could write an epilog for this in our sleep!). Hell, he already gave half the epilog in Mike's musings! He'll build a successful store called "Olivia's", and have a lot of "fire sales"! I'll volunteer the additional twist of have his advertising spokeswoman be an actress that looks like Olivia!

First, with the store - the nit-pickers would be out in droves, ranting about how he obviously never ran a business or he would know it couldn't be done the way he described.

Second, his love life - how many times have we seen criticisms of the husband ending up with a better, sexier wife? You know would have seen them here! And if it turned out to be this first woman it would be "too fast", otherwise it would be "boring" reading about all his dates before finding "Ms Right"!

Finish the damned story .... im begging you

You and Richard Gerald have a real knack of creating narcissistic female characters that, at least on some level, love their husbands, but don't let that get in the way of their own ambitions or desires. Please write more and share with us lowly readers.

I liked the story and you seem to like how you ended the story, but I just feel like it is unfinished. Can only give it a '3'.

One more page to tie in the ending.

This story has no ending, it is total bull shit. I have never made comments like this before for any story I have read on Literotica but I guess this is a first.

He has lost all of his investment because there was no insurance? His guy has no idea how to run a business. He gives away money initially without any loan documentation based only on what his wife tells him. Stupid!

Still love it. Still five stars.

Sbrooks said it all. Well written and ended. Any further commentary would not be in the spirit of Go for it.

I like the story line, but like me, the end could be the set up for a part II. "Go for it" as your story so aptly put it.

Good read. 5*

To much hanging to end only gets a 4*- Eulogy required to fill out the BURN.

He really fumbled the ball by not sending the DVD to his sister-in-law and her parents if he really wanted to get full BURN. Plus since a adulterous affair is provable leading to the divorce - why did he not seek a conspiracy to defraud him of funds for her Lover-Bruce? The trusts was not communal.

IF he was such a good businessman with a competent lawyer they did not also include a life-of-loan life/hazard insurance policy for the full loan amount? Business is business & stupid is just damn stupid!

And how are all the husband characters so absolutely clueless about it?

The story went out with a whimper, with very little effort, considering the dvd, he could have gotten a much more fulfilling revenge.

lets hope brenda is the sexiest, intelligent, domesticated, loving, faithfull, devoted monogamous slut that these stories call for our hero to end up with.

I really liked it!

Where was the revenge? Your protagonist looks like a wimp!

The revenge in this story is by the back door. Financially he had Bruce by the short hairs to the point that Bruce and Olivia committed arson. The revenge was the two of them got sent up the river for a spell as guests of the State.

Where is the end of the story?

It's complete, but I am greedy and would like more, please!

As much as I am sometimes drawn to violent revenge, I do love the legal payback where the cheaters cheat themselves. Good fun and good story! Thank you.

By the way, I can't help but wonder how she would respond if her husband had a lover on the side? I doubt she would accept it any better.

her delusions are complete. it is EASY to cheat. Sometimes women will cheat with married men they DONT like because 1) the thrill 2) the safety. a married man is less likely to expose her. and the thrill of stealing away a husband from a wife for a night. and if she's as hot as she thinks, women will LOVE taking her down a peg by doing him.

Then there's money. He has it. Women find a successful man attractive. This dude has way more sexual market place value than she does. And how old are they again? Because a woman's sexual value depreciates every year, and (if the man works hard) his sexual value increases. The reason is obvious, but women are sought after for beauty, youth, fertility. Men are sought out for protection, health, and stability. I'm sure she's young enough to attract all of her fellow inmates.

This was a really good story about another clueless cheating wife. I was surprised Mindy was ok with the cheating, but she was really close with Olivia. Most LW stories would have him hooking up with the sister, so it's nice to have one go a different way.

...as to Mindy, I wasn't surprised one tiny bit.

She was Olivia's younger sister, but obviously idolised her to the point of being unhealthy. Dressed the same, acted the same, hung off her every word and act. Of course she was going to fold about the adultery.

She probably even convinced herself that Olivia was right... that Olivia deserved her extra dalliances, and that she was a modern, vital, open woman of today, with needs that she had every right to have met.

I know the final outcome of the story should live in the imagination, but it would have been a good read to discover Mike's successes, and to read about how it really got under the cheaters' skin.

That would have been more effort, and probably would have made the story a bit more ordinary, to be honest. I know this is a good ending, but I would have enjoyed that ride too.

Cheers

Sad really. It was good.

Just another author who crafts a decent story just to have it 'finished ' without a proper ending.

I can tell you from personal POV, it's much harder to finish a story than start one. Some authors write the end first so they have a destination in mind.

Just saying

Lol well that was a waste of time. That barely qualifies as an ending. I think the author just got bored and decided to stop.

I agree. It seems like you just got tired of writing and quit. Starsong1977 and enjayem offered suggestions. Enjayem may have given a good idea. From 5* down to 4* because of the ending.

Damn. What a crap ending. Obviously you got bored and just gave up.

What a waste of time

I thought the story and the ending were just fine as they were written. Really good story.

5 STARS BUT I HAVE TO ASK! WHAT THE HELL IS THE DEAL WITH THE FUCKING dot dot dots (...) THROUGHOUT THE STORY? ALSO, DO ALL YOUR CHARACTERS STUTTER?

Great story, and I don't mind that ending actually. Don't need to be walked through how exactly he gets his happy ending, just that he decided to give it a shot.

Good story, but wheres the ending? If it was included and well written, it could have been a great story.

Not bad but very slow. The writer needs to read some more successful BTB writers around here. These are pluses and minuses of this story:

+: No perfunctory sex scenes which is a plague of many BTB stories.

+: No unrealistic happy end rebounds which destroys any realism in many BTB stories.

-: No development of any characters except to a caricature, but of course you need to be a master writer to be able to do that. Some can, most cannot.

-: Extremely slow buildup with little or no suspense. Some BTB writers go to another extreme with foolish delusional nonsense and technical mumbo-jumbo. However some suspense buildup is required else you end up with a boring read.

-: Unnecessary and over the top dialogues overemphasizing "Olivia"'s delusions. Why is that needed? It only makes the character less realistic. It is better to use deceptive trait that all cheaters have than overemphasizing their delusions. Cheaters are always more into deceiving others than themselves. You could also use revelation of deception in a way to build the suspense.

Anyway, not a bad story, sorry to see that author gave up writing because this was actually slightly better than average BTB stuff in LW.

I've read this story before and I still like it. I especially like the ending. I must admit that through most of it, especially when he applies the financial squeeze, I keep thinking he is in danger of losing himself. That's why the ending is especially gratifying.

Lame and unfinished. Why bother? Just_words, why are you sucking his dick? This story ended at climax and you know it. Jesus. You writers are so full of shit on here.

Why did he give him $425,000, that was a crazy amount for this lame plan.

I'm talking about you and about Bruce and about what the two of you did yesterday and every other fucking Tuesday for at least a year.

thats a lot of "abouts" in there lol

marriage huh a good way to make some money. basically, he bought a wife and then paid her to leave lol im sorry u made the MC too dumb or one hell of a sheltered life. and fuck man how rich is this guy? just shelling out 60k like it was a dollar lol think u got the money in this story a bit iffy. funny bc its usually timelines that get iffy. didnt get any emotion from this at all

ending a story with dialog bad move it makes a story feel unfinished. u know some of u authors really need to read more. i mean professional books not 99c amazon crap

Wonderful writting!

What a Femdom agitprop bitch. Just get away from her: You can't really hurt her.

Olivia was a piece of work. She is a delusional narcissist living in her own little world. How does the DA go from evidence from first degree arson to fourth degree? They must have had OJ's lawyers. Non ending was not a good idea.

Good story, but the cheaters lived. That made it a *4.

I liked it but i did feel it was just getting going, did he build a store, was it successful. What did he do with the other land and how did he rub it in to the shit heads.