All Comments on 'The Galinean Saga: Ch. 01'

You have a way with words! I'm already eagerly waiting for the next chapter. A few inconsistencies came to my mind, for example if every citizen has a patron or patroness, where is Lallanna's? Anyway, get a beta reader who points things like that out and this will go from good to excellent. Keep it up!

Hi, enjoyed your story, the search for atlantis, the cave, and the detail you have built about the alternate reality world, you have clearly put a lot of thought and planning into describing this new world. The sex scenes in the story seemed a little quick and were lacking a sensual buildup and then detail. The first blowjob from his student was barely three paragraphs, might as well written [Insert blowjob fantasy here]. I am not a great writer, I am however a great and experienced reader and offer my feedback from my own perspective, i like to see the sensual buildup, then the sharing of great lovemaking or fucking. The morning fuck doggystyle at start of page two, did it actually make two paragraphs? It could have been more detailed, sensual.

I do look forward to reading the next part of the story, thank you.

As a fan of science fiction and fantasy, I really enjoyed the story. The sex was about the right level and the voicing was very good as well. I do like the plot - probably one of the best that I've read on this site. I encouraging you to write another installment - I for one am looking forward to it.

Thanks for the kind words and interest in my story. I think I am on pace to release a new chapter every three to four weeks, or at least once a month. I plan to keep this going for a while as long as people are interested. I will explain Lallanna's patron in the next chapter. She does have one. Also, chapter 2 will have even more attention to the sex scenes, but still maintain a balance with the story line. Stay tuned!

Interested in seeing how plays out. I hope what happened to Tenou don't happen to you. His world & story were good too.

Projectile weapons. I know you wanted to paint a certain picture of your fantasy hero, but the human body cannot move fast enough to block OR dodge an arrow beyond a certain speed. If the projectile's speed is not fast enough to strike its target, then either: 1. Build a bow with a greater mechanical advantage to propel the arrow or bolt faster or... 2. Release an overwhelming barrage of arrows simultaneously. Either way, fighters without armor are walking piles of future fertilizer, and NO corpse is a PRETTY corpse. Also, your boy is smart enough to remember at least SOME different types of ancient (leather, leather studded and/or plated, scale metal, chain mail...) armor enough to combine the best elements and features of each into a personal suit of protection that would make him the most unstopable fighter on this planet, especially considering he is flat out stronger, faster, and harder to put down than anyone on this world could EVER become. He goes from being somewhat ATHLETIC to (after only a few hours of the most basic martial training) ALMOST taking down one of the most experienced fighters in the city/world, and now he has had WEEKS of training as an elite guardsman? The guy is about to go John Carter on this planet... he's the only one with enough strenght and stamina to fight in armor, that armor is going to negate almost ALL of the weaponry (the needle dagger would penetrate anything other than metel plate) his enemies use, he's SMART (not just intellegent), he has a permanent vested (love) interest in protecting his new home city, his willpower/determination is off the charts (published a book about Atlantis at the risk of losing all of his intelectual credibility BEFORE he completed his Disertation... and STILL earned his Doctorate), he has as much training as almost anyone else (no wars for HUNDREDS of years means his enemies will focus on SHOWmanship in stead of DEAD-OR-ALIVEmanship), and he's about to go into The Wilds (where nobody on their own survives) ON HIS OWN. Have him fix the armor fiasco before too much longer. If the Council and military leadership think highly enough of him to PICK him to go, they can, at the very least, humor his odd ideas about personal protection equipment. - J.M.F.O

I just realized that I picture him as a mash up of the main characters from Indiana Jones, John Carter, and Gladiator. Very good