All Comments on 'The Gift She Gives Ch. 11'

I do enjoy your stories, but this one feels like it is being stretched out for no good reason. For me the logical conclusion - from the beginning - is that they finally touch and Arc is healed and Vesper either lives or dies so why take so long getting there ?

When I start writing a story, I don't set out with a certain number of chapters I want to hit, it's more about getting the characters developed and creating a compelling story. Vesper and Mr. Hughes' story struggles are there to allow you to not only get the time to know Vesper, but the time to really get to know the truth about Mr. Hughes, as well.

Take heart in the knowledge that even I don't think they need to go on frustrated like this forever. They will come around.

I hope she gets into a better relationship with another man like Samir, I mean, several years of neglect and abuse from the mother. I believe she is weak to this pressure coz she's was born into it and she believes that this is the terminology of love that she can ever possibly receive/deserves to recieve. She will be consistently rounded back into a circle of abuse. She is consistently saying that he shouldn't do this coz he loves her and now, his getting back at her by fucking two other people. His now ruling over what she does, keeping track of what she does, it's blinded by domination of superiority and a liar. I'm sure this is sign of becoming domestic violence and abuse.

I know that most Dom and Sub stories, it's always built upon trust and submission. But this isn't so hay?

He does have something wrong with him. She has something wrong with her.

It's a relationship that's hard to comprehend which way it's going.

But there's so many loop holes that keeps the readers on their tiptoe. I can't comment on this true side of Hughes and the shell that he is creating Vasper to be.

Dominic should come back and beat the hell out of Hughes

I'm reading these comments and then I'm looking at my score so far and I'm sitting here like, "where the hell did I go wrong?" But rereading the chapter before, of and after this one, I realize that I did not do a good job of explaining the fact that Mr. Hughes is being dominant by compulsion and not by choice. I can read ahead and see that things are changing course very quickly, and those of you who are seeing Vesper as weak now (and I do agree that she in no way needs to be in an abusive relationship) will start to see her stronger side in just a few very short chapters. I have toppled you all over, and that was not my intention. My intention was to make you see that Mr. Hughes has no control over what he is doing, and he is angry, yes, but we don't know who he is angry at quite yet, it's very easy to assume it's Vesper. There is more to come, and things are always changing direction in my stories!!!

I for one love mr Hughes and don't think he wants to intentionally hurt vesper at all I just think that it would be cool if she could heal him and eventually be enough for him. They have something special between them and I'm sure it wasn't so much fun to watch her with other ppl even if she wasn't in control or compelled or whatever so how is he and his compulsions any different. Yeah I want to see the tenderness and love between them but this is the conflict part of the story. I just hope eventually they get to monogamy.

You hit the nail on the head about what I was bothered about, and I'm glad you get it. I suppose that's part of the problem with only getting one chapter at a time, we are left to make assumptions. At the end if this chapter I feel like he's being needlessly cruel and vindictive. I also feel like it's all take and no give. Vesper is being asked to understand and accept so much that is completely wrong for her, but he's not giving anything. It's all about her having to understand that this is just the way it is.

I hope we do see more from her. I hope when she released from her current predicament she isn't all orgasm stupid, but instead pissed off to have been handled this way without a concern for what she wanted.

Adding this because I just had an epiphany about my negative, visceral reaction. This absolutely feels like the set up for domestic violence. I was in this relationship! A man who asked me to give up everything, accept his way of life and when I expressed concerns always turned the tables so I was apologizing to him. I felt so bothered and protective of Vesper while reading this, it just took a minute for the puzzle to come together for me.

Anyway, to wrap it up, I love your writing and trust you as a writer. I'm along for the ride. 5 stars because I want to smack Mr. Hughes and rescue Vesper, which means your writing affected me deeply.

This is abuse and relationship violence. It doesn't matter whether he can help it or not. He's abusing her and you're justifying it by saying he doesn't have a choice and that he won't break the promises he made to her. People in a relationship make an unspoken promise not to hurt each other emotionally. He clearly doesn't give a rat's ass about her feelings, he's not making any compromises or changes, and she - like most domestic violence victims - just goes along with it and believes she deserves it. There is NOTHING that justifies abuse. (Consentual play is one thing - this is NOT consentual.)

I'm glad that you understood our perspective of it, and how it looked like from another view point! Coz it was really strange how it differentiated (semi)) from the other stories that you've written. But every moment and every word that you have written is compelling and so very engaging to the readers and that is what I love about you!

I know it may sound like there is so many negative comments but it's not!! As a reader we were worried and we were so engaged in the love of your characters it feels like we were ready to offer counselling to Vesper haha or call 000 (911) if that was a case haha ( Kidding)

I hope you do continue your range of love triology to more novels! Definitely for the romance for the easy to love Samir!

I hope to continue reading the Univerise of Vorhees Spa till you deem that it's complete and satisfied!

Please more this is amazing

He may be "compelled" to dominate humans, but he certainly *chose* to do so in front of Vesper to punish her. When is he going to 'wake up' and realize that each action he does results in a completely opposite reaction in her? That is, he needs to break his cycle of behavior and start acting *opposite* to what he wants to do. That's the only way he'll get to her heart and have her accept him. Vesper is being masochistic in her desire for Arc.

anonymous: It can't be fun for him, seeing as he is pulled to be with her, because she wants him. But please do not assume that Vesper has ever had a sexual experience that she wasn't okay with. Even when she turned people, her mind *was* still her own, even if she felt the need to do things. There is a lot that Vesper doesn't know about herself yet, she's a newbie to her powers...she'll get there. Thank you for your comment!

kindascake: I have found that it can be incredibly troubling to be a writer (and not because of commenters, I appreciate EVERYONE'S opinion...well, those who are not implying that I am a pedophile, those, I have a bit of a hard time with). I sit and I let my imagination go and I know where I want to get and I do things in an attempt to get there (and I don't always mean to take sharp left turns here and there to make everyone nuts....sometimes it just happens). When I write, it's not to evoke horrific memories, so I am sorry for that....though....I think we must have dated the same guy. For real. What I write sounds differently in my head than it would in everyone else's. To me, Vesper is being timid....because of her age, the generation she came from, the experience with her mother, but she doesn't come off as weak to me, though I completely understand how it comes off that way to others now. Sometimes I lose sight of that fact and trust me, I get it today!!!

agreement: There is nothing okay with non-concentual sex play. Absolutely, 100% agree with you, and like I posted above, the way I read my chapter is completely different than how it is coming off to others. I apologize for the depth of aggravation that has caused you. Vesper is strong, way stronger than she shows in this chapter. I do not believe that she will allow herself to be dragged along in life by a man who doesn't care how he treats her (and yes, in this chapter, he truly did not care how he treats her.) It reads abuse, and that was not my intent. He needs to hit rock bottom, and he has ooooobviously done so with my readers. However, let's give Vesper a chance to figure herself out and see what she does. She's the one with the power, she just isn't used to putting it out there.

(cont...)

understanding: When I first saw how it was coming off, I was on my way home from work and literally had to pull over and catch my breath. This is NOT how I want my readers to feel! I have been in an abusive relationship, maybe subconsciously I put Vesper through that so that we can ALL see her rise on the other side the better, and in control. Maybe that's what I needed from her, but maybe down a notch. I do not get upset to get 'negative' comments-though the comments I received today are not, to me, negative in any way, it's constructive criticism, it's 'you can do better,' it's 'we care about Vesper, don't put her through that shit ANYMORE.' I'm okay with that, I get it, I love book characters as well and the fact that you guys take the time to read my stuff, I COMPLETELY respect your opinions and would hate to have you hurt by the actions of my characters! Promise Promise...and yes, I will pick myself up off the ground, shake myself off, and carry on, and do better. Chapter 12 comes out tomorrow, and there is yet another cliff hanger....but wait for next week....things start to filter through with this crazy relationship.

angelicbeauty: Thanks for continuing with this story! I am glad you like it and hope that you will enjoy the coming chapters.

ass: Yup. He needs to wake up where it concerns Vesper. He has spent his entire time on earth thinking only of his own needs, and it's time for a change...or he'll lose her. As others have noted...SAMIR IS RIGHT THERE. And he's a great guy, loving, conscientious, in need of his own story (which may or may not be next). And Grigory and Zheng, all men who treated her with respect and admiration. I mean, Grigory was willing to go to great lengths for her....but she's with Mr. Hughes. And right now, he has not done anything to deserve her because time and again, he screws it up in major major ways. Vesper needs to know she's in charge, she needs to take charge....and I promise, she's going to.

Don't apologize. You are the writer and we are along for the ride. Some of the best rides are uncomfortable and disturbing before they become something else. There are also the ones that never evolve but all of this is your choice as the writer.

And I was so torn about the chapter, I couldn't vote or comment. I'm glad I waited to see your responses to other comments because I don't think I could continue with the story if Vester is to continue accepting the absolutely cruel and vicious way Mr Hughes is treating her. I'm glad It sounds like Vesper is going "to find herself" but I do think you took this chapter too far as I really hate Arc now rather than seeing "how he can't help himself" isn't that every abusers excuse, and I'm not sure he can redeem himself. In saying all that your writing is brilliant as usual and I am keen to see where this goes next!

I'm probably one of the only ones out there that will say it but, although you wish Vesper to be strong, I think she's actually a selfish, spoiled brat. She wants Arc. He knows that. Given that she is 87, and even though she's had a sheltered life, she's a fool to believe that he isn't set in his ways. Yes, it would be ideal if he gave up his 'playthings' for her, but she should realize that he has needs, too. He can't physically touch her, feel her skin, kiss her...so what is he supposed to do? Walk around with the Angelic equivelant of 'blue balls,' all the time?

Sheesh! I'm a woman, and if I KNEW my beloved has a SERIOUS case of 'blue balls', and I couldn't help him, I'd feel like CRAP! Arc figured out a way to give her pleasure, and she then destroys everything that gives it to him? Uh...that's not fair. Not at all.

Just my two cents worth...

Sxualchocol8

I absolutely believe that Vesper has engaged in consentual sex. I don't know why she'd allow someone to treat her that way, but you've made it clear that she could have stopped any of the sexual encounters and chose not to. That's not where I see the abuse. The abuse is tying her up and forcing her to watch him. THAT was abuse.

I feel as though I am the only one who is just ready for Arc to get a break. I mean, yea, Vesper isn't getting the good end of the stick right now, but it feels as though everyone is painting her as the victim. Arc is literally being punished. Did you forget that he's been forced to constantly debase others for millenia AND forced into feeling pleasure from it. Something that I would like to think he wouldn't choose to do of his own volition. Now here comes Vesper. Promised, untouchable, and fairly innocent. More torture on top of something he's previously come to terms with. And everyone expects Arc to just shift gears and change just because she wants him to or it's the 'right' thing to do? To me, Vesper just seems naive, immature (to an extent), and quite selfish as does Arc. All that being said I am eager to see how it plays out. Thank you for writing your story as you do. Please don't change that because people are interpreting it differently than you expected.

Don't Apologize: I know it...I do, and I know there are plenty of authors in the world who write their books and don't care at all how they are perceived, this is a work from my head and these stories take me to new and differing (and uncomfortable) places sometimes. But it's hard not to say "I'm sorry" when the affect I have on someone emotionally is negative. I will work on this. ;) I have every plan to continue this story the way I see fit. It won't change in edit based on comments. I've totally learned my lesson with that one!

Littlecat76: I am very hopeful that in the next several chapters that come along that Mr. Hughes can redeem himself. I think one of the hard parts is that this whole story has been through Vesper's point of view. I think with Alex and Domino, it was helpful that I would toss the narrative to him every so often. It's easier when we can get in their heads a little more. Thank you for your comment!

Sxualchocol8: This is where the reader's perspective is so interesting to me. We all approach this from different directions. I've been ridiculously happily married for almost 13 years now, and these last few years have been filled with all sorts of reproductive system issues for me, so much so that are very fulfilling love life was really put on the back burner. I know my husband was frustrated (I was too!-which is totally where Anya's story came from, btw!). I took out my frustration in my writing, and my husband...well...there are plenty of ways he can (or I can) deal with it. However, were he to want to go and be with someone else, I would be 100% unaccepting of it. (But yet I put Vesper through this-I owe her an apology). I don't think she's spoiled, I think she's hurt, but I also think she's naive to her own abilities as a woman and a nonhuman. Thank you so much for your comment!!!

not concerned: Yup, I agree. And that is exactly where I went wrong with the chapter. It could definitely have been written in a way that didn't put her in that situation. These comments are exactly what help me improve my stories, thank you!!!

deeziuresuntold: Mr. Hughes is a fallen angel because he refused to kill nonhumans for his god anymore. He'd had enough, he felt like he was going to be nothing but an assassin for the rest of eternity. I imagine it would be very difficult to be punished in the way that he has been punished. And then reminded of it every time he looks in a mirror. It's cruel. Vesper is very naive, and immature about certain things, certainly sex, she's been sheltered her whole like. This whole story is about her, and him, and how they BOTH find themselves...and each other. Thank you for commenting!

I agree with some of the previous posters, I had no idea Mr. Hughes harem was something forced on him. I though he was just accustomed to it and didn't want to give it up. This was my whole reason for being Team Vesper and understanding her storming off.

What I don't understand is how she can be so hypocritical as to give PERMISSION for a complete stranger (even worse, an unknown angel she is attracted to) to kiss and fondle her. Firstly, why would you put yourself in that situation? Secondly, I don't understand why she didn't even attempt to say no or push him away. I don't buy the 'she's sheltered and inexperienced and doesn't know how to deal with her own body's reaction'. She managed to stay a virgin for 80 years. I'm sure she had to say no to someone. And she gave permission before she was overwhelmed by her hormones. She is making dumb and careless decisions or even worse, is spitefully trying to hurt Mr. Hughes because he hurt her.

I am also angry at Mr. Hughes for tying her up and then bringing more slaves in. I thought he was going to punish Vesper, which I would have understood. But this kind of juvenile payback is ridiculous. He seems unhinged and dangerous, not to mention completely unreasonable. Not a good look on my favorite character.

And then Vesper infuriates me again by crying and doing the whole woe is me routine. Grow up, woman! Maybe in the time tied up, she can think about how hypocritical she is being and then take responsibility for her part in this fiasco. First Vesper didn't say no to Fezekiel and now, she isn't saying no to Derrick? I could just scream.

Finally, I'm angry with you for doing this to them. Can't any of your leads be monogamous? Why are they so controlled by their libidos that they can't have a conversation to save their relationship? I suppose you've done your job by wrenching an emotional response out of your readers. I think I trust you to redeem the characters you've made me love. But for the first time this series, I have a sinking feeling that maybe you won't be able to wrap things up in a way I'm happy with. I'm disappointed to have doubt.

Don't expect you to change anything, just wanted to explain why my response was so negative.

She has no desire to compromise. Her way or no way. Temper tantrums, running away, acting thoughtlessly, being vindictive...

I'm glad she isn't leading their relationship because I don't think she is level headed enough to do so.

Thank you for you in depth reply! Your comments definitely keep me striving to be better, and as I have said in other comments, I am totally aware that this chapter was written poorly and makes my readers have a sick feeling in their minds about both Vesper and Mr. Hughes. Believe you me, that was completely NOT my intent. At all.

I agree, they need to just talk. They need to stop acting and reacting. A conversation, an honest one, should be had. Neither of them have ever been in a relationship before, but that doesn't excuse their behavior (or mine in writing this chapter the way I did.) I can only hope that with my edits and future chapters that I can bring everything back around and get them happy.

And monogamy in relationships in my stories....While there are monogamous characters within the story (Shi and Faeron for example, you are right, I haven't really done that.) In real life I am strictly monogamous, so maybe I do this as my way of safely breaking my own rules. I will say that the next few stories that I have in mind are going to be monogamous (Samir's story and Wei's.) Actually, with the exception of a satyr-guided story, most of my stories I've got quick outlines written down for are monogamous. Though I have had several people send me feedback asking for stories to be written in the same vein as Anya's (guests at the spa), so I have lots swirling around in my mind right now!

Again, thank you! I take all of this criticism seriously. I want whoever Mr. Hughes is with to deserve him, and I love Vesper, I know they are meant to make this work!

Hot,hot and hot. I enjoyed that chapter so much, I'm going to bed for a supposed nap before work!

This chapter literally frustrated me to the point I ceased reading. It made no sense at all.

I think Vesper is pretty innocent to the whole sex thing, and while she 'gave in' to Fezekial, I don't think she could help it, until she managed to conjure up some power to withstand it (I don't think she was just trying to piss Arc off).

And perhaps Arc is behaving childishly in having seen Vesper succumb to Fezekial and is punishing her for exactly that.

We still don't know enough about Arc's compulsive behaviour, can he really withstand it or not?

Perhaps they both need their heads knocking together or perhaps they are being played by a bigger power than themselves....

I absolutely love this story sinagainChris12 - yes this chapter was a bit of a weird one, but I feel confident you're going to wrap it up nicely!

I'm really sorry I haven't commented more, I've just been focussed on catching up with this brill story!

Hey there Chris!

I just want to say that up until this chapter I was enjoying the world of Vorhees very much. Vesper went to the spa to get help. I kind of feel like she keeps getting raped...especially with the other Angel..she was allowing it but didn't want it. Seemed like she herself had no say in what she was doing...which ok I get it of she's an angel's concubine.....but yeah. And then when arc was fucking the dude infront of her and then tied her up on a bed in his room.. She didn't want any of it. If he loves her he needs to treat her like an equal. Made me feel really sick with how he was treating her. I love bondage and Bdsm..Been involved in a few D/s relationships myself....but yeah. Vesper is so sweet, innocent and naive...and a virgin. Really really lost lots of props for Arc...she was sent there to get help. Yes they fell for eachother because of what she is...but he is ahowing her no respect. Yuck.

Read way back in a previous chapter, Vesper gave consent. I have been a Domme for years, true slaves are rare, but I have met a few, I was even blessed for a time to have ownership of a pain slut. Vesper is an Ayperi, basically created to be a slave to Angels. And also a few chapters ago, she gave consent. Being a physical virgin doesn't necessarily make you innocent, she's 87 yrs old. She was able to give consent.

Don't dabble in the Lifestyle and then make judgements. Once you've truly lived it 24/7 for a few years, THEN you can comment on how we choose to live.