All Comments on 'The Girl at the Spa Ch. 04'

Wrapped up nicely with a pretty Christmas bow. It seems your previously saved and re-written finale came to a satisfying conclusion. Thank you for the great story!

Thanks Androgynousother for another of your great stories. For me it's still about the detail you put in that makes your characters so real and believable. I will confess I was worried you were going to do something nasty to Alice but happy that you made the conclusion dramatic, but then threw in a happy romantic resolution my subconscious took on without having to suspend disbelief!

The occasional extra word or typo but that's your style and the excellence of the product takes over. Great story.

Thank you for a really good story .

This was a really great story, thanks for your writing.

I thought it was a great story.

A great description of the British landscape and the characters, with a very English but romantic plot. Perhaps a bit excessive in sexual relationships, but this is Literotica, therefore, it is not strange. The last two chapters have had a lot of intrigue, but the ending is fantastic, totally in the line of romance.

If this has been a hasty end due to the loss of the planned chapter, I can not imagine what the author could have written in the lost chapter. Surely it would have been an apotheosis.

5 * for you, for your great work and thanks for sharing it with all the readers of this site..

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Smashing story!! Thoroughly enjoyed it. Many thanks!!

Amazing story really.

The story plays well throughout. If anything, maybe there could have been more conflict during the first (3) chapters. Richie's distaste with Fiona and Leah, and arguments with his mother, were only mild annoyances. There really weren't any challenges to Richie and Ali until The Kidnapping. But still, the story works. This is a case where the sex is a critical component that complements the story - it's not the basis of the story. Also, ending it with Dad doing "the Christmas thing" underscores how they cemented their relationship during the months from the start of the story.

Bravo!!!!!!!

5 stars, and extra points for Meghan's dancing lessons! I really enjoyed this series.

The time you spent rewriting this story was well worth every minute. Please keep writing and I will keep reading all of your work. If you need an additional editor from America please consider me a volunteer. GREAT WORK!!!!!!!!!!

Woodbgood1@gmail.com

Fan-Fucking-Tastic!

What a lovely finish to a truly wonderful story. Your writing style, setting of scenes and character development is so pleasant and easy to read and visualise.

Pretty sure i'll be reminded of this story next time i visit the north coast!

Thanks for sharing this 5* story with us.

Thoroughly good story I was champing at the bit to read ch4.

Worth the wait. That Meghan! Dont mess with momma's babies boys!

a Great Story. Started out a little rough, but developed wonderfully. Thanks for sharing and Happy Christmas to you.

Delightful story. Thank you so much for sharing it.

Just no words. Absolutely amazing. Please give us more stories like this.

Whilst I give this 5*, it bothers me that the 24 year old man with the element of surprise did not take down Sean. I'm all for strong women, but could it at least have been a tag team effort of beating on Sean?

Just. Fucking. Wow!

No problem with the lack of anger at the end, I thought it was in character for the hero and believable of him. No need for too much blood and guts, this is a romance after all.

Not so sure about the psycho bit, but it certainly added something pretty powerful to the otherwise romantic story. Really enjoyed it - will have to read all your other stories now!

Out-fucking-standing!!!!

Well done!

It was all that a story should be. Yes, very well done. 5*.

Andro - another great one - keep up the good work!

5*

For me I 'saw' Ali as a bigger girl of about 5' 8'', well padded and somewhere around 135 lbs. Sean as small man about 5' 7'' and maybe the same weight. So I was surprised that he could just haul Ali around the place basically 'at will'.

As an engineer myself - I thought you made a rod for your own back with Sean's 'preparations' at the spa, overly complex (to me) and very, very difficult for an amature to accomplish.

But it really was Alice's story and I fell in love with her, and that being the case your story succeeded. But with the beating she got + trauma of rape she's a certain case for PTSD. There too many cases these days of girls getting abused, not enough done to bring culprits to justice, often belittled and shamed, they find themselves cring in corners.

vbr / 19pvc44

To start with, I want to say that on the whole I rather enjoyed this series. It's one of the better ones I've read. That being said, there were some things at different points in that bothered me a bit.

The first is the lack of any explanation, even a dubious explanation given after the fact, for why Richie and Alice had never met before. All we as the readers got was author fiat, which took a sledgehammer to my willful suspension of disbelief.

The second issue is Paula. There are many references is to her prior to her actual introduction as a character, and everyone speaks highly of her. Yet when we encounter her, she attempts to sexually humiliate Richie in front of his girlfriend, knowing that he is inexperienced (if she's the guru that she's described she would well know just the sort of lasting damage that could cause to guy), with the hope of stealing his girlfriend. Not only did I find the whole situation disturbing to read to begin with, Aly's response bothered me more. Knowing that Paula attempted to emotionally damage her boyfriend and sabotage her relationship, her conclusion was not that she should be careful around Paula lest something happen, but rather that they should give her another chance. In addition to the sheer foolishness of this, on the part of the character who is most consistently presented as being clever and good with people, it also is completely irrational given the priorities she had been most recently expressing. Namely that she just wanted Richie alone, and wouldn't sleep with Paula or anybody else again, the implication that she wanted a monogamous relationship because free love precludes a fairy tale romance, and that she would never do anything to hurt Richie. When she went for Threesome Take Two, she was contradicting all these things, because she was seriously risking hurting Richie, for the sake of consoling Paula (already happened once, no reason it shouldn't happen again), you can't be monogamous and have threesomes (even if it's a last time and Richie was included), and she was sleeping with Paula again (even if it was a last time and Richie was there). This whole thing almost made me stop reading, and I had to take a break for a couple weeks and skim Threesome Take Two in order to continue.

Lastly, martial arts or no, the climax with Sean was terribly unrealistic. If someone has a knife, the last thing you want to try to do is to throw kicks or punches at them, because all they have to do is slice or stab the offending limb. Weapons are force-multipliers and an untrained but fit person with a knife or club will have much better odds than an unarmed triple-black belt in miscellaneous Eastern sport sparring, or even a military Spec Ops soldier. Attacking an armed opponent while unarmed is the action of the desperate or foolish (in this case, desperate), but if you're going to do it, grapple. Get so close that the additional reach of the knife is irrelevant. Also worth noting is that knife wounds are nasty. Getting stabbed in the gut by a large kitchen knife all the way through is almost certainly going to be fatal. Additionally, though I'm not familiar with the minutia of British laws, they do tend to work in favor of criminals much of the time and in many places, due to the fact that she had threatened him before stabbing him (which as I pointed out would be fatal), Meaghan would likely be arrested, and convicted, for premeditated murder. Obviously this doesn't make for a happy conclusion, but some lack of explanation of legal trouble could have been made (i.e. the police all agree out loud that they didn't see anything).

Again, on the whole, I enjoyed the series, and though this comment is mostly criticisms, I don't want to leave the impression that I disliked it. I hope they are received by the author as I intend, which is constructive feedback, even if my language my seem harsh at points.

What a terrible ending! A story filled with rape, torture and physical abuse is categorized as “Romance”? This would have been a five star story without Sean and Paula in it, but it devolved into a two star mess, and that’s generous in my view. Very disappointing. It would have been much better as a shorter story.

To the 2 critics below . Especially " kvalentine " . All of those questions were answered . Thoroughly . That's what you get for skimming through . Lol .

Well written . Very talented author . Quite the love story . Thank you .

Great story - thank-you!

Even Better the Second Time I Read It.

Just one continuity slip - they were going to the Maldives for their honeymoon and then went to the Caymans.

Why’d you have to add a rape to the story, in my mind it ruined it, it’s just my opinion but rape is not good at making stories interesting or throwing curveballs it is one of the most evil acts a person can do and it just makes me angry and sad, even a warning would’ve been nice at the beginning. All in all absolutely astonishing story although admittedly the rape soured my mood, can’t believe people find that entertaining

Thoroughly enjoyable. Yes you can find a few typos and pick holes in the plot or object to the storyline but romance as just plain romance without any drama or incidents is plain boring. It's the level of each component that should categorise a story and by far the majority is romance.

5 stars throughout.

Thoroughly enjoyed the whole series.

Small whinge. The Snatch Land Rover was armoured surely, doubt Richard would've driven around Cornwall in an armoured vehicle. Also earlier in the series a Discovery morphed into a Range Rover, don't think Solihull thought of that one.

This is a comment about the entire series. Second reading, so must have liked it. Some reservations though. Richie is the narrator, right? Supposedly passed his “A” levels for admission to Cambridge. Therefore I am more that a little surprised that Richie misuses or misspells so many words. The author has written an interesting story jeopardized by a segue into (not “in”) a lengthy and distracting “Perils of Pauline” episode.

Thank god for my read the comments first rule. And thanks to the commenter about the rape crap.

I despise rape in stories, I'm fed-up with the feminist portrayal of all men as raping monsters. BTW the figures they us are completely false, google it. If you had used a warning i would not have rated it but now here is my 1.

Good story, but not without its faults. The character of Sean is just not in the vein of “The Spa”, McNair Snr wouldn’t have hired him for a high profile job like that, as a successful businessman he’d have realised what kind of guy he was. I’d have liked more resolution for Leah, who desperately wanted to be great at something, she was the whipping post for a lot of the story, but apparently was massively damaged through no fault of her own.

4⭐️ for the story as a whole, because it lost its way periodically, with dubious character depiction.

I always wonder if people like Covert43 and Mikoda really read the stories. Covert43 is correct that rape is an evil act, but seems to have failed to notice that it was presented as such. Furthermore, the nonconsensual tag is inappropriate for this story because the rape is not presented as erotic; isn't even described in any significant detail. Mikoda complains about the "portrayal of all men as raping monsters", but seems to have failed to notice that only one man in the story -- Sean -- was portrayed as such, and that every other man in the story condemned him for it. (Mikoda also has no clue that feminism isn't anti-male. Feminism is simply the belief that women have the right to determine the course of their own lives, as opposed to being forced into a particular path by societal pressures. As some prominent feminists have noted, that necessarily implies that men should have the same freedom. Speaking as a man, I do not feel threatened by this.)

Seriously some people have little to bitch about. Loved the story, loved the premise a fantastic series. BOO to the nah sayers.

⭐⭐⭐