All Comments on 'The Girl Next Door'

I normally don't read this genre, but something just grabbed me to read this one. You created a wonderful world with your words. I was wondering how you were going to continue on after the wedding night. Well done!

Great story with a bunch of twists and turns. Really enjoyed reading it because you developed the characters so well.

One of the best I have ever read on this site

a most engaging & intriguing tale

imagine my delight when i got to the end of page 1

and found myself with the most enjoyable surprise of 24 more pages to read

superb mix of descriptive/narrative & quality dialogue on what was an interesting journey through the trials & tribulations of life

so often stories in this category are a big dissapointment

in this case 5 stars & a glowing comment seem insufficient praise for what is undoubtably a most remarkably well written & enjoyable book

Probably the best story on the site.

Thank you for taking the time to write it and share it with us.

Thank you for sharing your creativity and being so generous with chapters. It was a joy start to finish. I feel lucky to have stumbled upon The Girl Next Door.

Please feel free to share any other stories bouncing around in your talented head !

Get it published, its very good

I honestly am struggling to remember when, or even if, I've read a better story here. Truly excellent stuff

Very well thought out, written, and presented. A pure joy to read.

This is a great story, certainly in the top 5% of efforts on Lit. I'm hopeful that the author will continue to share his outstanding talents with us.

Wow. Great story. I enjoyed very much your first one on this site, and kept hoping that you'd do another. This one really sucked me in; a sign of truly excellent writing. Please keep writing, and let us know if you submit elsewhere - be happy to buy your stories if you go that route.

Thanks again.

Very well done. Please keep writing

CONGRATULATIONS! This one of the best stories I've ever read on this site. I was expecting for Kim and Jack to get together and make a baby. Two was a natural and complete surprise. Thanks for sharing.

I tend to like longer stories that develop more depth. Thanks for an enjoyable read.

Tom

Fucking hated these goody-two-shoes morons. I had to quit at page 4 when the faggot got a mouthful of cum. Fuck that.

So original, funny, unexpected twists... really creative stuff and a tremendous style and great editing... I never noticed a single edit error and basically forgot I was reading instead of seeing and hearing the story.

I've just read both of your posted stories an I have to say they are the best I have read on this site! When you post a new one can you ping me?

Well written story with interesting characters and a terrific emotional payoff. Thanks for posting this!

I mean that in a good way. The plot took off in a new direction about every other page, and I enjoyed every new situation in which your characters were engaged and how they dealt with it.

One of the best stories posted on Literotica in my opinion. I'd have given it ten stars if only I could. Thanks for posting it.

I read Life Raft about 2 years ago and though I enjoyed it I was always kind of pissed that you had not posted anything else. I really liked this story (1) for its' content (2) for its' lack of typos and (3) for its' English grammar and spelling. I hope to see more from you before another 3 years goes by. I gave it 5 stars and '4' on the Budweiser Scale !!!

... I'm a sucker for happy endings. There are so many in your story, I could not stop reading it. I'm rubbish at constructive reviews. All I can say is I love your writing.

Fanny xx

Absolutely disgusting in my view. I was just horrified when the story turned into wife swapping then at the end Jack said that he was good just because he knocked up his friends wife. This story should be in fetish or loving wives.

Bittersweet a tough begining for Connor his personel strength carried him a long ways. Your description of the tower crain climb sucked my balls up tight, ladies you might not know that sensation. I worked construction 30 yrs. Worked one 28 story building, crain boom was 365' above the street our operator offered us a ride out on the trolly to the end of the boom. We had to have the safety harness and proper tie off of course, and he would swing the boom 360 around the building. There were 6 of us non with the balls to take the ride!

This is a fantastic story. I book marked Life Raft and I came back to re-read the story and saw this one. You could easily sell this on Smashword or Amazon. Thank you for the story and do you have another in the pipeline?

Wow, what a great story. Thanks!

Complex, believable characters facing challenges, with plenty of erotic moments along the way; definitely a story to savor!

This story was very well done. I thought their love was so sweet and pure... until she got fat and he started fucking the woman he was really attracted to all along. That's was super disappointing through I still liked the story overall.

Excellent story (as usual). You are my favorite author at this site. Keep up the good work... I hope to read more of your stories in the future.

I read your first story when it came out, and was impressed enough that I favorited it. I checked back every few months for a year, and nothing. But I was going back through and curating all my favorites, and it turns out I missed this story! Best Surprise I've gotten in a long time. I'm eagerly awaiting your next story, even if it takes another two years, I know it will be as amazing as the first two.

The wife swapping...it was good, I'll give it that much but when the wife swapping happened, it pretty much killed the story... Then the whole thing with Jack giving his friend's wife babies and feeling proud about it obliterated whatever interest I had left. That was like a slap to connor's face for bedding angie when he didn't want to do it in the first place... Connor, from my POV, losses to Jack. Ironic in a weird way, Jack saves Connor's engagement (marriage) and then sneaks in, beds Connor's wife and provides her with kids. Hilarious...!

Hope to see you post another story soon. (I liked Life Raft. That one was awesome)

So Connor lost. Grew quite attached to the guy (from a readers perspective of course)... His wife gets to make babies with another guy and he gets to raise them....Raising kids that are not biologically yours requires balls. Raising your wife's best friend's husband's kids as your own, while he lives right next door requires a specific set of balls. Now I can't shake the feeling that Connor was manipulated into the situation he's in by Kim. Let's look at it this way, after finding out that Connor can't give her kids she turns to Angie for advice. Angie being the nymphomaniac that she is, sees an opportunity to get a taste of Connor. If they can coerce him to acting on his lust for angie, they can twist things so that Kim gets fucked by Jake and has her baby. But then the universe plays a huge blow to Jake and the guy gets paralysed but this turns out to be a catalyst to their plan. So acting on this Angie and Kim get Connor to bang angie out of 'pity' and then all the pieces fall into place. They wait for Connor to bang angie enough times to rack up his guilt. Then they pounce. Using his guilt of banging another man's wife against him, they make him think it's only 'fair' for the other guy to get a piece of his wife and BAMM, she's pregnant. I mean the whole thing about Jake not being able to ejaculate was a sham. Minutes later the guy pops off without a hitch!... Okay on to the next point.

Let's imagine a few years after finding out, intentionally or accidentally, that Connor is not Jr's real father, Jr and Connor get into a heated argument and Jr shout out that Connor is not his real father and has no right to....

Okaaay I think I'll end here.

End of rant... Good story man but kind of disliked the ending...

I've been in recovery at a hospital for a week. Finished all three of your submissions. MAN... can you write!!!!

Mamma Mia, too long, unreal characters, stupid fairy tales all the time,

Quite pathetic

Pity, your writing is good, but full of useless unnecessary crap.

I'm only a few pages in and I've already seen "well this situation doesn't make any sense but I'm just so chivalrous and innocent that I couldn't possibly do anything but what this girl tells me to" about five too many times. The situations he finds himself in are all contrived nonsense.

I enjoyed this tale right up to the female inspired manipulated wife swapping. Then lost interest at the stupid of it, and just went to the end to see what happened. Glad I did, that way I did not have to waste valuable finishing what turned into a shitful story.

Because of the excellent writing I give this story 2/5, the plot was woeful in the end and that’s why the 2/5 is the deserved score.

She can give Jack an erection without the injection AND she can make him ejaculate for the first time since his accident. Apparently big tits do beat small tits.

Good story, but a couple too many funky plot twists.

Many thanks for your effort, ***** from Australia

I really liked this one, and hope you keep writing.

As for others' comments about unrealistic plot twists, given the genre, everything seemed reasonable. The only thing that I found unrealistic was that it took as long as it did for the rain to start in Hanoi!

It’s a really good, and very unusual, storyline. Well written. The beginning, when Connor makes his promise, is a bit far fetched. I can’t imagine any 10 year old boy stay in control of his emotions while watching his idolized dad die. A 10 year old who’s able to realize his dying dad’s need for reassurance... sounds like he’s from another planet. As for the rest, it could definitely happen.

Yeah not believable at all. Angie is not marriage material, at all. In real life women like that either get married and divorce like 7 times or they become spinsters. Women with that high of a body count are incapable of having a relationship. Further, women who are sex addicted at age 13 are guaranteed to have been sexually abused as kids. She needed seriously psychological help, not people to enable her. In that regard this story was very fucked up because no one becomes sex addicted naturally at that young of an age.

The main character is is awkward as hell throughout the whole story and eventually becomes a cuckold. I don’t care how close I am with another couple, I will never share my wife and will never sleep with another woman. The concept is disgusting. I would also rather be single than raise another man’s child. Thankfully I have two kids so this isn’t an issue for me, but that idea fills me with rage.

The story was kinda weird from the start so I guess I should have expected some weird twists but still it really just highlighted the sheer awkwardness of the main character of the story. He comes across as autistic at times. The obsession with undeveloped bodies is another weird thing about the character. Here he has a woman who is his wife that has a classic fertility goddess body with large boobs, small waist, and wide hips with a bigger ass and he is somehow not attracted to that? If you go by studies it’s likely he has low testosterone issues (the higher your testosterone the more you are attracted to classic fertility characteristics and vice versa).

Decent writing but overall just a weird story in general that dragged a bit at times.

Thank you for an excellent, exciting, and inspiring story about love, sex, family, friendship, commitment, career, and life.

Thanks for the effort. You’re a talented writer but the storyline turned out to be about a group of despicably immoral people who weren’t worth the effort, so I couldn’t finish it. Jumped to the end for the meaningless declarations of love (?) between the cuck and his slut and realized I made the right decision. You generally develop characters well, but these turned out poorly.

Normally, I prefer that my love stories be monogamous. In this case, I’m willing to make an exception. It’s technically well put together, the characters are well developed, and there is obvious caring all around. This is not a situation that I could live with, but as presented, but the author has drawn it in such a way that I can envision it working for the right people. For that, 5 stars.

Yeah, what Slamnuke said. You could see earlier in the story, but by the middle of page 14 it was confirmed there was a light at the end of the tunnel in this story. So I skipped to the end and read some reviews which confirmed that light was indeed a cuckold freight train of a angel/whore best friend combo. Avoid.

Interesting that as far as I checked none of the smart arses who are so critical appear to have written anything themselves. Like most stories there are a few improbabilities ,but thats what erotica is all about, if we only want to read about what we do ourselves then we can just read our diaries. We'll, those who are literate enough to write one. 5*

Just when i thought a story could not get any better. Jeez what a complete master piece.

Thanks.

BTRH

Great story - I guess haters gotta hate but whatever... The overall plot was very well done and exquisitely crafted, and I gotta say that the crane scene affected me more than any other scene has in written prose. My stomach was churning and I had to take a couple of breaks to calm down before I got to the end. Glad they both survived but WOW, was that intense. Thanks for posting here, your work is of the highest caliber found on this site.

An amazing generation-spanning

This is my new favorite story on Literotica, displacing Life Raft, another offering from the same author. I found the editing to be near perfect with very few typos or homophones, leaving little to distract me from an excellent storyline. The characters are well developed and their eventual family bonding more natural than I expected it to be. The many plausible plot twists held my interest, making this a difficult to interrupt read. I'm off now to check out more of Michael_Butterfield's works.

Awesome! The best of your postings, and I really loved the ending! Thanks for writing it!!

Jim

Well, well. It’s 2 am and I have finally finished reading this story. Couldn’t put it down. Thanks for the journey, I throughly enjoyed every word. Keep up the great writing. Certainly made my day.👍🏻😁

That was amazing. You're very good at this. I couldn't believe how much that crane scene affected me.

I loved it. I noticed two big typos:

Page 2: "Kim" is mentioned before she introduces herself

Page 10: There's a reference to "Rachel". Should this be "Rhonda"?

Excellent story.

I love to read! And this has been the best that I have read in quite some time. It is now 4:30 in the morning, but I just could not stop until I finished. Thank you.

Wow, what a great story. It went so many places that I never would have guessed. Great job.

Hated this story. The twist in the plot line to have a wonderful loving couple get involved with slut Angie and Jack is deplorable.

I felt sad and betrayed by the end of this story and sorry I invested time to read it.