All Comments on 'The Good Kind of Bad Luck'

Have the girls fuck daddy!

here's another one: have the boy shove his young cock up the same cunt he came out of

That was an amazing first try. The characters are well written and the sex was hot. Keep up the good work and u will be a lit legend in short order.

Sexy as hell story! When does one sis suck him off while the other one inserts a finger up his ass?

Loved it.

As to the advise from others I would say remember this is your story so take it where you want to go with it. If you want to add one or both of the parents to the mix so, but if you want to keep it just between the siblings then do that. Let the story flow from where your imagination sees it going and what you think the characters would do. Yes the siblings are all having sex, but would they want to risk their parents knowing and possibly putting a stop to it? Do they get caught by one or both of the parents? You created this world your characters live in so what happens is entirely up to you.

The only advice you should definitely take from any of us is to write more on these characters as you have done a very good job so far.

Hope you write a sequel with the mother involved.

Man, that was fucking hot!! You gotta write a sequel! Good stuff!

Yes as the others have said on with part 2

Don

As others have said, go with you own imagination and enjoy what you write. I am curious which of many directions you can go you in fact do select. Thanks for sharing.

... they get mom in on the act

that Sam would like to double his sisters with.

The story was okay. It was pretty good but I wish there had been more of a build up between the brother catching his sister having sex and then him having sex with one of them. I also wish the trigger for that sex was more imaginative than the sister seeing her brother watching the video and immediately deciding to have sex with him.

Basically the general story idea has a lot of potential and you are clearly a good writer. I just think with a bit more build up and more imagination it could have been a lot better.

Kim gets sick with potentially deadly e-coli after finishing him off orally after the anal sex, then also develops an e-coli and yeast infection in her vagina after they have more sex the next morning, since no one ever cleaned the feces off his cock. Then Amy also gets an e-coli and yeast infection in her vagina after they have sex, since no one cleaned his cock again after it was in Kim's ass a second time. What you see on videos is part of the act -- most of the "actresses" have been cleaned out with enemas, and even then they usually stop filming to clean the "actor" before it is inserted in the mouth or pussy after being in the ass.

And let's talk about your proofreading and editing skills. Read the first two lines of the first paragraph of the third computer page. If you cannot spot the mistake, then you definitely need an editor to help you. Making mistakes because you get turned on by your own story is no excuse for not properly proofreading and editing before submitting.

Totally juvenile ! But that may be your audience.

Great story sequel

if all the incest stories on the other site were this bad it's probably why they shut down the site. delete and get a good editor to help you rewrite this so called story. this needs more background and character development as well as a better plot, this was way to rushed and unrealistic.

Lesbo's don't like guys...

Decent start but why did you quit?

Please keep going and lets see if you can bring MOM into the FAMILY FUN.