All Comments on 'The Hermit'

The whole mind-reading thing is way overdone. In fact it is so overdone it kinda kills the whole story

I enjoyed it. But the story felt rushed.. They just met and bam!! they are in love in almost no time.. It would have been much better if you had described more of their time together while they toured the world...

I enjoyed it, but the narrator did seem like a sweet dolt proposing still in rebound mode. Give Anna 7 years with him and we will really see if she needs to spice things up like her predecessor. But the opening island scene , first meeting and maritime details were great fun to read, things got a little hokey but the strong intro induced enough momentum to make this a overall positive experience.

P.S. The European setting was cherry on top as well. I thank stev2244 for sharing.

Lovely little romance. A happy ending too. And no btb, revenge, navy seals, spies, hitmen and all that stuff.

Although, I didn't get one thing. At the end, why did Julia care at all if Anna hurt him or not? That seemed a bit odd to me.

That hiccup apart, 5*s for the story.

PS: I wonder if anyone would actually take up the challenge of writing a piece where no one is filthy rich? Not having to bother about money does make life (as well as writing a story) easy.

I love happy endings. The description of the scenes was amazing and the story flowed well. I guess fashion models and rich guys can get the blues too. Mother Jones has an interesting article on how immigrant models are taken advantage of by their agencies. The trust fund and Julia's arrival for the proposal was fun.

Thanks for your work,

reasonable man

The mind reading thing ruined it.

A romance like this needs time to work. When it is instantaneous, it feels too easy and shallow. Nice little romance, but quick on the draw.

...we were always laughing at things the other didn't say, but thought. I don't believe in telepathy, but we were very 'in-synch' and, I think really 'got' one another within just a few minutes and sentences of meeting.

Sadly, it didn't really go anywhere.

She believed that her true love would arise from an epic and sweeping romance, rejecting the idea that having a romance and marrying your best friend is your best and perhaps only good chance at real happiness.

It's a shame, really. We'd have been so very good together. Our friendship never included sex, so I don't know if she's any good. I'm told I do a great job on all counts. But for me, it isn't enough. Without love love, sex is just usual masturbation. A lot nicer than Mary Thumb and her four sisters....but in the end....it's vacuous and sad.

The part that put me off, was Julia showing up at that last minute. Sure, she was the cantilever on which his obstinate and self deprecating mindset brought him to know and ask Anna to marry him. But, honestly, it was a cheap shot and a disservice to an otherwise very enjoyable story. You didn't need any false drama, or a comeuppance scene where Julia skulks od,finally realizing she'd lost him.... I'm sure a real woman, no matter how deluded she was previously, would get that it was over when the notice of dissolution arrived.

The other departure from both character's models, was Anna's sudden dis-ease and lack of clear, honest communication, once they left the yacht. It speaks, for the first time, to the idea that they aren't on the same wavelength. She's hoping he'll ask her to marry him, but, in spite of their healing together, he'd not really gotten over the damage done by Julia and her constant treachery. That's more consistent with our hero, in general, but not after months of intimacy as they crossed the ocean together. Her silence and nervousness should have invited discussion. That it didn't, is where your train left the tracks.

I'd invite an alternate ending piece, where you invest something more in that last little bit than the melodrama of the ex showing up and everyone getting honest. Besides, he should have politely invited Julia to leave, her appearance now, being as unwelcome as the attack on Pearl Harbor. There are just so many better ways that could have gone, that maintained your character's personalities intact and didn't short-circuit an otherwise thoroughly enjoyable story.

Thank you.

Did it feel like a fairytale? Absolutely. But, sometimes it's nice to read a fairytale with a happily ever after.

Thank you for writing and looking forward to your next story.

Don't mind harry (nobody else does)

I would disagree that it was rushed, sometimes it can be that fast even if it is rare.

There is no need to replicate the length of war and peace.

Also it was nice not to have ninjas,ex special forces or deadly gangster willing to kill and maim for no reward other than friendship (note to author's, those guys all want serious payment, no matter how close a friend they are)

It was charming and had good humour.

Keep up the good work.

5*

While Juila reappearing at the end could work I was hopping for more of a show down with Fulvio Brione.

Great story but it would be better as the introductory part of a 2 or 3 part series.

Very sweet story. I liked everything about it. Very well written and the pace was very nice. Meeting to marriage was awfully quick, but hey, how long do you need to know you love someone? Nice story. Umm, George???

I liked it...Good read and funny...They saved each other...This is one of those stories that easily could be in "Romance" or in "LW"...4*

The protagonist is not a total loser! This has to be a first, stev! ****

I rarely comment and then only positively to good writing and creative tales that appeal. Three other writers know who they are. You've just joined their ranks. More in this vein please (?).

Nice romance story, well paced and with enough gaps to not make it feel rushed.

The story could have been a cliche, but the characters were believable enough to make it work. Thanks.

I am not a critic. I thoroughly enjoyed this story! There were "sad" moments as a couple of lonely, hurt people tried to get to know easy other. Fortunately, Julia showed up to provide our "hero" a wake up call

Please keep writing and sha

Ed

But you really shouldn't leave that introduction in there when your story's main two characters are a filthy rich dude and a supermodel.

I'm writing these as I go, so some comments may be over-taken by future events.

"under weigh" - I know you "weigh anchor", but you still get "underway" when you leave.

I'm just reading his story, and I didn't see anything about a pre-nup, but I would hope when he took her back he got a post-nup!

"It is Mark, isn't it?" - Fuck, her lover who wants to share her can't even be troubled to learn her husband's name?!

"After all, Andy accepted it, why couldn't I?" - LOL, why SHOULDN'T Andy accept it, she's not HIS wife! See how much he "accepts" it when he finds out is Sugar Momma doesn't have that much sugar!

"Oh, no, not him, too" - What happened to her "mind reading" ability?

"without her ID" - How IS she going to get her ID? You can bet the fat asshole isn't going to give it back!

I don't mind the similar plots, there are enough differences to make the reading of bot worthwhile. But having BOTH ex-wives being honorable and wishing happiness to the new couple? Nah! Probably the one in "Fifteen Hours", who tried to have her husband MURDERED should have remained a vindictive bitch!

thanks

5*

I enjoyed the story. And all due respect to Harry in VA, I liked the mind meld between the two. That made the story for me.

I do feel where both fell out of character was after they left the ship. Why would either fall silent and be ill at ease with each other?

Julia coming back into the story was convenient but not unexpected. She wanted to try to get her payday back and figured since she suckered him in once, she could do it again. OK, maybe at the end she did realize she messed up and threw away her best friend, but I don't think so.

Nice enjoyable story.

A nice story. Good character development, scene setting and plot. Would have liked more interaction during the sailing and the return home.

An enjoyable story, thank you.

Lest we forget ... Julia has liked Mark since elementary school. When her hormones got going in secondary, she started liking other guys also but there was NO time she was depicted as disliking Eventual Hubby. Mark just did not want to share, so HE pulled away. After a few bad eggs in college, Julia decided she was better off with the FIRST guy she had liked and way willing to cool her engines. It seems that the engine warmed up after they had settled into marriage. When Hubby reacted unexpectedly (from HER expectation), she explained that divorce would not be in his financial best interests. She was wrong (Thanks, Gramps!). Julia was even fairly pleasant as she explained what was typical in most divorces where substantial money was involved.

SO ... When it became clear that Ex-Hubby was moving on, I see NOTHING inconsistent with Julia being sincere in wishing her childhood friend a good life!

Rich guy, bitch wife, runs away all upset, meets amazing hot chick who understands him.

Seriously?

re:

Julia

Lest we forget ... Julia has liked Mark since elementary school. When her hormones got going in secondary, she started liking other guys also but there was NO time she was depicted as disliking Eventual Hubby. Mark just did not want to share, so HE pulled away. After a few bad eggs in college, Julia decided she was better off with the FIRST guy she had liked and way willing to cool her engines. It seems that the engine warmed up after they had settled into marriage. When Hubby reacted unexpectedly (from HER expectation), she explained that divorce would not be in his financial best interests. She was wrong (Thanks, Gramps!). Julia was even fairly pleasant as she explained what was typical in most divorces where substantial money was involved.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Arguable.

In many ways she came across as a typical gold-digging user.

Only interested in what Mark could do or provide for her.

Even during their school days this showed.

She didn't show much concern for his well-being in the story.

Yes details were of course left out.......but still.

So was she really concerned for Mark?

Or was she positioning herself as his 'savior' if the marriage to Anna blows up?

Then she could climb back aboard the gravy train.

OK, the Anna reading his mind was cute and romantic, but all the angst and self pity and Pitiful Pete musing was boring and inane. And why, after starting a romantic deep and passionate relationship, their love affair stalls because, well, they, um, kind of forget how to communicate? And that is supposed to be believable? After spending weeks reading each others minds and getting to know each others dreams and fears and successes and losses? Suddenly they become like live-in strangers? You ruined it with that twist in the plot. And the final act where Julia gets head slammed is just, cheap. It could have been done so much better. Like with Julia running into him at a store, where she tries to chat him up, then Anna comes walking out in an evening gown she's trying on, for his opinion. Julia just looks as Anna, looks at him, sees that they are totally besotted with each other, and drifts off to her alternative fall-back life, with some other as yet unidentified sucker (there's no fool like an old fool).

Thanks for the effort.

I really enjoyed it.

In fact the first two thirds were really great. Its just nice to see people who've been shit upon , find happiness . Damn , who woulda thunk it , I'm apparently a closeted Romantic . Damn self discovery . lol.

@ Cookie cutter anon , do you feel better now ?

Do you feel like a big tough guy ? Nice to know that of the 30 comments , yours is the only one with that tired little POS phrase, makes me feel a little better about this genre that has too many Einstein's like yourself . You must need to stand out from the crowd , as yours was the only truly asinine critique . So give yourself a big pat on the back for being , oh wait , one arm is already several inches longer than the other , I guess since no one else will do it , you pat your own back a lot. Well carry on sport , because the world needs more assholes like yourself.

5 *'s

I have to strain to find something negative to say about this little gem so I won't bother.

This story satisfies romantic fantasy. The creative ability to touch the reader's imagination through words is what it is all about, no? You have done that, and this story- even if jumpy a bit here and there- carries one into totally concentrated wishful thinking. Iron out the bumps a bit and continue with the confusion and heartache played against insight and surety and you will be surpassing what you have tried here. Your heroine super model is the antithesis of anything that could possibly come from her related personal history, but that is what a muse and siren are supposed to be: she obviously comes from a different planet. His hurt is much more down to earth. A good read, all told your story is an enjoyable departure from reality.

It had feelings, character and nuance. While it did not wallow in apologizing for the actions of the cheating wife, it was given five seconds more regard than 'none at all', which seems pretty common here.

Also I like that their relationship hit a few shoals after parking the boat. It is easy to be in love when you are on vacation (see Vegas, Las) When cold reality hits (Germany in a nutsack) many pixie dust relationships freeze.

But with this light hearted romance, of course it did not happen. The REASONS for their troubles and the writing at the end left me a bit cold, but overall my favorite story for a while.

This was entertaining and nice.

The rape boat was pretty crazy. Probably happens but I am far removed from those circles.

The basis of the story was interesting but details are rather childish. The writing is of marginal quality with poor development of the story. You should take a creative writing story to learn how to develop the ideas and put them to paper.

There is revenge, finding a new and real love, but the story is that of a junior high school level. Get some assistance.

Tiny Tim

I have read three or four stories with exactly the same initial scene, but I was falling for the victim until they stopped reading each other's minds. Really that made it all strange. Still, thank you.

Keep up writing, The Gardener is my all time favorite on this site even after many readings.

Added you to my favorite Authors. doing great.

Very well written with good characterisation.

This had the makings of a decent story, even though you had to slip a RAAC in there. But no tension, no feeling, just the same crap you pump out story after unfeeling story. Typing the word hurt, or tension doesn't make the audience feel it. You might consider writing obituarys cause you suck at writing stories.

... I liked it:)

Nice work !! Again!

I notice at least one comment noted the 'childhood friend' as well as 'gold digger' qualities in Julia. That's something you don't see combined. Presenting that conflict within Julia makes her more interesting. In the end, I'm not sure if there isn't some part of her that's happy that Mark is with Anna.

Like many of Stev's women, she realized she screwed up . . . but unlike others, this one realized it too late. Also unlike others, she was NOT as compatible with the main character as the next woman he fell for . . . the one who would end up with him. Julia and Mark may have been childhood friends, but they grew up to be very different people.

Stev also writes growth into his characters . . . especially the betrayers. I've always liked this, since many of the more interesting people I know have changed, and continue to change and grow.

Now, maybe Julia has grown some, or maybe she's still a selfish gold digger . . . but we're not sure . . . Thankfully, we're given that final little nugget - 'don't hurt him, okay' - 'Not like I did.' This surprised Anna and Mark - It surprised me - it surprised at least one of the commenters . . . I wonder if it even surprised the author a little? But perhaps not . . . with Stev's tendency to have characters eventually recognize their mistakes, he had to give Julia something, at least point her in the direction of becoming a better person. I almost wish one could write 'pauses' into a story, so such moments could be 'held' for a few seconds, maybe even savored.

Good work, Stev!!

But It felt like we were missing some vital information. There were some pretty big gaps between leaving the first port of call and getting to Germany.

Why Germany? Did she get access to her bank accounts? Was she able to replace her important documents? Does he do anything to grow or protect his considerable wealth? Does she have a family, or anyone at all who cares where she is? How about his friends and family?

With a little bit of personal information it could have been even better.

But too unbelievable, especially the first 24 hours. Then too many holes between the first sex and when Julia appears. It was a bit disheartening when all the sudden evil Julia suddenly stops and wishes her nemesis well.

This story deserved at least 20,000 words, perhaps even 40,000.

I found her watching his proposal for marriage a nice counter point to him catching her in bed with another man. the plot was a little hard to follow after they left the boat. It felt rushed and not too well thought through. Otherwise an interesting story, although fantastic, about people meeting at the right place and right time to make a connection.

Best of the lot so far. 5*****

But all the stories I've read (4 of them) are pretty formulaic as to characters and outcome.

I think I'll wander away and come back later when they've become fresh again.

By the way. Four weeks on the the boat with good sex and no b.c. pills?

Is he sterile?

Well done. Thanks for the offering.

95% of the story flowed extremely well. The ending seemed just a little rushed. I think , Julia ' s response at the end , about not hurting him, was out of character. Her actions had proven that she really didn't care. Aside from that, I liked your offering. Five stars.

and satisfying. It's lovely that a couple can find and read each other so intimately and so immediately (or her him anyhow), almost the stuff of wishful women's novels. Though Literotica is mostly for men, I know that dreams of such closeness are never exclusively dreamed by one sex only.

Shall I ask if the boat was sloop-rigged? It had only one "mast" I noticed, yet a "foresail" rather than a "jib." And anyhow, a fifty footer is not easily managed by a single person -- resetting sails at the helm when weather changes can be problematic. Having spent some days in those very waters on a 47 foot sloop, just wondered, that's all. He does need her.

I rarely comment my own stories, but for this question I´ll make an exception.

I imagined the boat to be a sloop. The sail name confusion is just a language problem. In German that sail is called "Fock" either for a sloop or a ketch. I think it´s possible to manage such a boat alone. But I agree, it´s a lot of work. Nice to meet another sailor here.

Almost all of this story was magical and very enjoyable. The ending seemed awkward and abrupt. Over all nice work though.

This story falls into the category where a poor dumped slob stumbles onto a stunning woman, who falls into his lap and quickly falls in love and vows undying love. Great wish fulfillment, and I liked the literal way she "came on board". Yes the ending was abrupt and somewhat less satisfying. If she could really read his mind, she wouldn't have been worrying about his feelings for her. Maybe that supernatural ability was on hiatus, so they could stumble into marriage like Most of us: blindly and nervously.

Good story but the ending just did not fit well at all. Sort of rushed when you took so much time laying out the beginning. Good characters but just a bit rushed from the point of them leaving the boat.

you could have made this into a novel Easley. very good.

Great story and great writing.

You could of done more with the characters Julia and Anna.

The writing at times had a sound bite mode to it. In any case it was entertaining.

What happened when they returned to his house. It's almost like she's ready to dump him then Julia shows up, they argue, and he proposes to Anna who is estatic about marrying him. No explanation why the changes in their attitudes. A somewhat confusing ending.

he thought she would dump and leave him, she was waiting on pins and needles for him to throw her out. his ex brought their fears out in the open. they realized they are stuck with each other, so the fears are history.

Yes he started out flawed like all your other male characters, but in the end he moved on with his dignity intact. The model girlfriend wasn't necessary, she could have been a frumpy house Frau as long as she loved him honestly.

You took an old story line and developed it into your own tale. I enjoyed the growth of the story and of course the ending. Who doesn't like it when a rich frog is kissed by a princess? BK

Not really.

Okay, both new women simply used their bodies, but were "virgins" at love, but other than that they were totally different stories.

I would think that besides making any other charges suspect, that there should be some fraud charges on the agenda as well.

. . . but the ending seemed really rushed. I was really hoping that it would last longer - it was quite enjoyable - except for the quick finish. Thanks very much.

at the start you stated "But I refuse to pair them with the typical ever-loving, perfect, non-cheating, rich ex Navy Seal owner of an international PI firm."

Well it seemed you missed the rich part, good story but a bit hypocritical

a sweet little story

"flawed female characters"? No, you write blithering idiot female characters. Now to go read the story. If it's anything like fifteen hours I will like it very much. This might get you up to three good stories.

A brilliant beautiful savant level empathetic woman in a five star story. Hell I've fallen in love with her just reading it. If she were real and he left her I'd sign my life over to her. I remember reading this story long time back as soon as I started but it's worth reading again. How can you write such brilliance (I mean there's a tv movie script in here) and then write the rotting Ebola corpses you write most of the time? WTF???

For the Cinderella storyline. I enjoyed it for what is is. I wondered at the way that Mark and Anna were setup together. To me it did seem like a setup. I thought that perhaps someone was trying to bring Mark back from his self imposed exile. Then later when Anna said that she was a “virgin” I choked on my drink. At that point I was wondering where you were heading with these characters. In all honesty, I was waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop. I guess I had some preconceived thoughts from reading so many stories lately. Anyway, I thank you for your story.

When Julia turns nice and really seems to be concerned about Mark things went off track. She marries him, fucks him over once, then fucks him over again, threatens him if he divorces her, actually thinks he will take her back and in the end has Marks welfare in mind. I call bullshit. She was only out for what she could get for herself. Lost a star for a total change in her lifelong quest for getting everything she wanted.

Nicely done.

At first I thought his sister had made set him up to meet her.

And she really tell for him.

But the way you did it was great.

Truly women don't understand how much power they have over a guys self worth and mental health. At least concerning normal guys.

Well written.

So, she wants to get married so badly and quickly she pulls away from him emotionally? Alright, I get it's a plot device, but it implies the only individually pleasurable things they share is sex, tying knots on a boat, and possibly a weak hint at something intellectual from the eBook reader. The implication is worse because of that plot device than when non-sex topics for a love interest are simply elided for brevity and lack of author/category interest.

Knots are a good start for short term bonding... Physical attraction will obviate the immediate need for shared individually pleasurable activity other than sex. Being asked for your opinion and for it to be taken seriously at the store is certainly endearing. Participating in simple acts of intimacy like the snuggling at the TV is a good one for sure. Having equally sordid background stories is what gave them telepathy, and establishes a certain intimacy quickly.

But there's a whole lot more, and the story explicitly implies they have none of it.

no way the author of the rest of the crap on this page wrote this good story. Calling BS right now.

Julia didn't get burned. She just swanned her ass back in and said it was a 'misunderstanding' and nobody said a fucking word to call her on her bullshit. Yet again, Stev proves why he's a useless, spineless little cunt. 1*

It's a fantasy with a happy ending. Not realistic in the slightest, A true happy ending. But is it wrong that I want one?

She can't write men at all, just doesn't get it. All these stories are pretty much the same: the man can't compete. The women are all beautiful, more intelligent than the man (any man), more clever, more confident, spend their time bullying the man into doing things he doesn't want to do.

The man is always agog over the woman, intimidated, out-classed, out-witted, too scared to make a squeak. Doesn't mind being told to "shut up", ordered around, or told how to think. Spends a lot of time drooling, unable to find words or form sentences - totally inadequate with women, although the women will tolerate him, as long as he performs nicely in bed.

Besides being female, I also think she's about 17 years old. No more for me. 3 stars.

by this author that I've liked, however improbable.

The longtime girlfriend all of a sudden gouging for money, and the BMW SUV. Oh, and the girl with the heart of gold.

Anyway, a superbe little quicky.

5-stars.

Not bad, and I was going to give you 5 stars, but one line spoilt it: "Anna, don't hurt him." Sorry, but we readers are fickle, and that line was just: a) too corny; and b) out of character, for me.

nice little scene at the end, his duplicitous ex having to witness his proposal.

Thanks for sharing.

Happily ever after AND hilarious.

I'm a sucker for a.Happy ending. I enjoyed it.

Great story. It would have been nice to let Anna and Mark's "stalemate" boil over, both taking evasive/defensive action, and finally discovering what they trully couldn't get out.

I liked it when Julia shows up, confident and ready to win Mark over but unsatisfied how quickly she gave in to Anna.. I would have preferred to hear what Julia was proposing to do, what happened with her other guy, the guy she was going to share her time, whether she still wanted to pursue a two man relationship, etc. And then have Mark squash her efforts and see her devastation (clearly she still wanted Mark for whatever reason for her to track him down). Here, she simply accepts the situation and leaves. A slightly limp ending.

One of my favorites, even after countless readings. The inner monologue running through his head had me laughing.

Good story, glad he got back in the human race. I just wish he'd man up and get some payback on good ole Andy, and turn in that prick Brione as the rapist he is, He's got video on him. Five Stars.

They just left the door open?

Need I say more?

Thoroughly enjoyed this tale of the hermit. 5 stars.

Thanks

You are really going to let a rapist run loose to keep doing it he is rich but so are you you knee what she was when she left you in school to play around And you married her and took her back after first time caught her

Cry baby

No feelings for him Cry all day and night wimp

Maybe 15%, plus a few key points, like ex-grubbing for money, and ex, in the end, wishing former love “the best”.

Liked this one a lot. 5-stars.

Your self esteem will be low. Anna told him the truth and built up his ego. He will see how he was manipulated his whole life. No more. Only good times ahead. He did get payback with Julia and Andy. They thought they the gravy train was theirs but it pulled out of the station and left them behind. Andy will move on and eventually some other husband will put him down for good. Julia's alimony will run out and she will have nothing.

Except "on the pill". Did she hide them in her bikini when she jumped overboard? Niggling details about life when all you bring with you is your bikini. Well, and your heels...

Still a fun fairy tale with nice characters.

The hurried story left me feeling empty. Was kinda thinking that Anna was a plant to take him to the cleaners. She seemed to know way too much about his life to get him to open up. The tone of the story didn't really change at all, so my expectations were still aligned with the tone. With the change in the story left me wondering how we got there. Didn't really see a romance happening, just a couple of hard stories from two people. It has some good moments, liked the two stories being told, but didn't see a progression after. Thought the story could have been great, maybe it was and i am just a hermit.

Light, uplifting, sweet story.

Have you ever heard of birth control implants?

(( The contraceptive implant works for three years. Hormonal IUDs are effective for three-to-five years, depending on the brand. Copper IUDs can be effective for up to 10 years. ))

Anna had learned that she had to whore herself out to get work in the modeling business so it'd be imperative to guard against pregnancy. Though she said they always used condoms, that's no guarantee. I've had at least a dozen of them break. (ALWAYS with VERY underage girls who just HAD to get fucked. [or were too damned pretty to leave for some inexperienced asshole])

Great story... ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I really enjoyed it. You write this type of story very well. I hate your RACC stories.

Great story, with happy ending. He should have drowned them I the bathtub when he first caught them.

I disagree with HIV - the mind reading thing was clever. Excellent character development and dialogue.