All Comments on 'The Home Improver Store Ch. 07'

That was dramatic. Did not expect such a serious tale with people dying considering all the others have been pretty light hearted. I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do in season 2.

5 Stars!

So.. yeah I do admit I went a little Jack Snyder. The only problem was I wrote myself into a corner with June. She was the villain of most of the stories and I wanted to make her more of a serious threat then comedic. I also did want to merge the Yankee story line with this one... albeit Donnie’s timeline will have to do some catching up. For Adam... ah yeah that was a tough choice to make. Killing him off was tragic yet made a lot of sense for me because of June’s state of mind... the shard of the Philosophers Stone made her go fully insane thus her infatuation with Adam caused his untimely demise. Despite the seriousness of the story I do hope you all enjoy it.

So... Why? I don't mean the death, as unnecessary to plot as it seems, I mean the overall state of the characters. They gained absolutely no positive value as a result of the events in the warehouse. Overall, everyone is in a worst state now than they were previous to those events. Nothing was gained. So the question is: Why? What was the point of having them go through that? What is your end-game for the characters? How was the death of Adam a necessary part of the story?

All those questions aside, I think the biggest problem with this chapter is the abrut change in tone and mood of the story. Prior to this chapter the story had a certain feel to it that was very unsatisfyingly broken, and I do believe that is the biggest issue, this chapter felt unsatisfying.

For the most part your writing has been very good up to this point so I'm not sure why you made such odd decions for this story, but hey, it is your story. You write it how you want.

I do hope you keep on writing, you have a lot of talent and I have enjoyed your stories.

For your questions on why,

Was a lot gained? No, not really. Injury, pain and even death yes. They were pretty much forced to put everything on the line to rescue their husbands which for the most part they did as well as bonding with each other to the point where they saw each other as family. Perhaps they did gain something out of the experience. As far as why make them go through all this- from an authors stand point- you really can’t develop a character or characters unless they have some conflict, some suffering. To move and grow everyone, they had to go through a bad point in their lives. I think we can all say at some point in our lives we had a defining moment. From a story stand point Druella was someone forced to throw Angel and her crew into the line of fire, thanks to her mom’s (the Demon Lord) diary. Adams death was kinda to fulfill the hole I dug myself into and I talk about that in a previous comment I made- check.. above? Below? Not sure how the comment order works. Was ita bit unsatisfying- mmm perhaps but then when have you ever come across a season finale that was? Not too many in my experience because they leave you with a bunch of questions that make you come back for more haha.

Please make a part two I love this work of art and yes this is a work of art please dont stop writing

Conflict is important, but it doesn't always have to be violent conflict.

For a story that was essentially a series of romances starting, it was really disappointing to have it completely change course and have it wrap up with torture, murder, and a fight to the death.

I really liked the story up to this point, but as stories like this tend to escalate I think I'm done with this one.