The Horrible Hospital

"We just want to make sure everyone has their fair turn, that's all," Jim says with a shrug.

"Ok, as long as it's fair," Jennifer replies, bending down to lick my pussy as Jim and John pull my legs apart to accommodate her.

"No!" I whine. "I don't want to! This isn't what you're paying me for!" But it is too late. I feel something warm and wet snake between my legs and gasp. Bob snickers. I hear the odd sound of hands rubbing hard against tender flesh. And the feel more hot semen in my hair. I moan and writhe as Jennifer's tongue impales me. Unfortunately, my body chooses just that moment to have yet another contraction. Darn it, I'm really going to have my baby right here.

"Um. There's something you guys ought to know," Jennifer says weakly her face covered with my juices and Bob's semen. "This woman's cervix is dilated. She's going to deliver, and soon."

"No, you must be imagining it," Bob protests. "I was in that pussy no more than ten minutes ago, and I must have bumped against her cervix at least a couple hundred times. It felt completely normal to me."

"But you've taken Gamuron, haven't you? Look at you! Your penis is at least twice the size it's supposed to be, do you really think that you are fit to assess anything with that engorged cock of yours?"

"I'm willing to assess anything with this immense tool of mine," Bob says, slapping her butt affectionately.

"Maybe she has a point," David says bravely. "She does look rather pregnant to me."

"She's an S&M prostitute specially customized for men with a pregnancy fetish. They probably gave her a humongous enema back at the agency to make her appear bloated."

"But wouldn't it be safer just to check, just in case?" John suggests.

"I'll do it," David says. "Anyone have gloves?"

"Oh, stop being so prissy, David!" Bob laughes. "You were up that whore's butt without a condom less than 20 minutes ago, and now you want gloves to feel around in her pussy?"

"But what if she's got AIDS? It's standard procedure to wear gloves in body cavities. I'm not being prissy! I'm following hospital protocol," David replies with irritation.

"Call it what you like, you are the prima donna of prissiness," Bob laughs.

"The agency wouldn't send us a prostitute with AIDS, would they?" John asks skeptically. "They know how picky we are."

"I'd say, giving birth at work is pretty defective," Jim says shaking his head.

"I'm not prissy!" David yells, but everyone ignores him.

"Is she about to deliver or not?" Jim asks.

"Maybe she wasn't sent by the agency. Maybe she's an addict looking for a quick fix," John suggests. "Has anyone considered calling security?"

"I did when I first saw her," Jim says. "But she was such a convincing prostitute I couldn't believe that the agency didn't send her."

"Understandable," Bob grunts. "She makes such a good little whore."

"Run and get me some supplies!" David yells.

"Shit! They're paging me. The trauma must have come in!" Jennifer says in a hurried voice. "I'll see if I can send someone in to help!"

"That won't be necessary," John says off-handedly. "She's not going to give birth."

"Are you sure?" Jennifer asks.

"Please help me!" I whine. Jennifer stamps away without looking back.

"She's faking it!" John exclaims, surprisingly hard again.

"I think I concur," Jim says, eyeing me strangely. "She's play acting, trying to get us to play doctor. Personally, I think it's in bad taste."

"I think it's kind of hot," John says, stroking himself while he talks.

"Me too," grunts Bob.

"Ok. But I'm still going to do the examination just to make sure. SOMEONE GET ME SOME GLOVES PLEASE!!!"

"Oh for God's sake man, just shove your hands up the woman," Bob laughs.

"Is someone going to get me gloves or am I going to have to go to the supply cabinet and get some myself?"

"Get the stuff yourself" Jim says, pumping himself crazily. "I'm having too much fun watching."

"Shit!" David says and rushes out of the room.

"Who votes we lock him out?" Bob asks. All three men raise their hands and Jim blocks the door with a sofa.

"Please, I need to be examined!" I yell.

"We'll examine you in good time," Bob says with a grin.

"I haven't had this much fun since college," John says.

"Enjoy it while it lasts," Jim says. "We can't stay off duty forever."

"Shut up and turn on the TV," Bob grunts. John grabs the remote and flicks it on. The moment the sound comes on, he explodes, spilling his load on the floor.

"Wow!" Bob exclaims, drawing his hard penis back out of his pants and playing with it. "This is some crazy shit."

I'm almost too scared to look. Those male grunts and semi-muffled female moans sound all too familiar.

"Hey, I know the guys attached to those cocks!" John exclaims. "Those are the fellows at security. Man do they know how to party!"

"Hey!!! That's our prostitute that they using!" Jim yells at the screen! "They stole our whore!! "

"Damn, that's hot though," Bob says, manhandling his cock.

"I knew they would try to ruin my last day party after that prank I pulled on them on April Fool's Day."

"You mean when you bribed a group of cheerleaders to run around the hospital naked? That was funny," Bob laughs, still pleasuring himself.

"Yeah, well turns out they were all high-schoolers. One guard was foolish enough to sleep with one. Got slapped with a rape charge, the unlucky bastard."

"I hate those guys at security. They think that just because we've got medical degrees it makes us less manly. Don't they realize how much balls it takes to make it through your residency?

"Nah. Most of them don't even have what it takes to get through high school," Bob grunts, without taking his eyes off the television. "Jesus. This is good stuff. I need to get a copy for my private collection."

I force myself to look up at the television. I see a guard with a sadistic smile shoving my own stool into my mouth while two more guards rape me from behind. Seeing myself like that on television is somehow almost more disturbing than the actual experience. Watching my naked body moan and twitch while they rape me, seeing my own skin right in front of me, so soft and touchable on the screen. It makes me feel dizzy. I continue watching and the world starts spinning. I see the muscles in my neck twitch almost obscenely as I swallow, see my own swollen breasts jiggle as I continue to be ridden. And then there is nothing.

I awake to the feeling of a contraction coursing through me. I must have passed out from stress. Oh my God!!! I want to push. I try to move my arm, and realize that my arms are strapped to a bed. My legs are free, but only for a moment.

"Oh, so you're finally awake," an oddly happy voice says in my ear. I look up and see a strange, unkempt man looking down at me. He quickly pushes my legs up over my head and begins to tie them to the head of the bed, so that I am crumpled in half, my butt sticking out obscenely.

"Welcome to the psycho ward," says the man. "I'm Marquis de Sade, and my colleague in the chair, readingVivisection for Dummies, is Dr. Lemony Snickett."

"Very fine day," says Dr. Snickett.

"You're crazy!" I gasp, pulling at the restraints that tie me to the bed.

"Exactly," says the Marquis. "As are you. 'Self-destructive tendency towards sadistic or masochistic behavior,' and that is how we find ourselves here on the third floor of the psychiatric ward, behind these glass walls. I'm told the charge nurse found you covered in cum down in the medical lounge and called psych. That will teach you for being caught."

"We were gynecological residents who went crazy from sleep deprivation." the man in the chair offer's friendlily. "Though in fact our imprisonment is the result of a conspiracy involving a commonplace notebook, a sugar bowl and a very large pencil."

"Gynecologists?! Please, you've got to help me! I'm going to deliver this baby any moment now!"

"Our medical licenses have been suspended until we make a recovery, but we will do what we can," says the Marquis. " Lemony, get your head out of that book and hand me the vagina filling device." He puts his hand out expectantly, waiting for his partner to provide him with the tool.

"What are we going to do?" I ask, a little nervously.

"Well, we're going to insert a large dildo, about ten inches in circumference and two feet long, to see how dilated you are."

"Is that really necessary?" I ask "It sounds like it could hurt."

"Necessary?! No, of course not, but it should be a lot of fun."

"Well, at least you're honest," I say, pushing through my latest contraction. "I've been raped by security guards and forced to eat my own shit to prove that it wasn't toxic. I had to play prostitute for a group of horny pill-pushing doctors, and still I ended up here! With crazy people! There really is no justice."

"You'll find us crazy people are quite honest," the Marquis laughes. "We have very little reputation to lie for." Dr. Snickett, who has been searching through what looks like an old-fashioned black medical bag for the last several minutes, pulls out an immense dildo, the size of a large forearm, and hands it to the Marquis. "Are you ready? Here it comes, if you relax a little as the dildo enters, you will find it a lot less unpleasant."

"How the hell am I supposed to relax when I'm bound to a bed in a psychiatric ward and there's a baby trying to push its way out of me?!"

"Listen, if I can squeeze this dildo all the way up into your vagina, it means that you're fully dilated and we need to call obstetrics right away, so your cooperation in the matter would be greatly appreciated."

"But you said the dildo wasn't necessary!"

"It isn't. It's a little more interesting than simply putting one of my hands up you. As you can probably tell, they don't keep as very clean here. It's all part of the recent budget cutbacks."

"Gotcha," I say, trying to adjust my position to better accommodate the enormous dildo.

"You know, we could just count the time between her contractions. Two minutes apart, and we call obstetrics," says Dr. Snickett.

"But this won't even take two minutes!" the Marquis laughs, slowly easing the enormous tool up me. "And it's just so gosh darn fun this way." He smiles. I blush, moaning softly as the dildo stretches me. I feel really full down there, but compared to everything else I've been through today, it feels almost good.

"Oh, looks like she's not quite dilated yet," the Marquis announces. "I guess we have a little time first. I think we'll start with an enema to help with your anal injury."

"Enema? That's when you stick fluid up my butt? How is that supposed to help me?"

"Well, we'll use an oily liquid that will soothe the tender membrane. A couple of gallons should do. For starters! Lemony, prep for voluminous fluid delivery!"

"Roger!" Dr. Snickett says grabbing a bucket of grease. "We've been saving this from our food rations. Fortunately for you, they give us very fatty dinners around here, so we still have enough. The last woman who they sent to us needed to gain weight so we ended up force feeding her through a jerry-rigged feeding tube."

"You force-fed her fat?" I ask, slightly appalled.

"Yes. And a couple of gallons of cum we stole from the fertility clinic, and a whole bunch of Gamuron. We've been experimenting on its effects on the female body!" The Marquis announces happily. "It works like Spanish fly in large amounts. That anorexic cancer patient got so wet, they had to use traction gloves to take her to her treatment sessions and put her in a chastity belt to keep her from masturbating all the time."

"But you aren't going to use Gamuron on me, are you? I mean I've heard it causes hemorrhage," I say, a little scared.

"Oh, don't worry, that's only in men. Women are completely immune, so you can use as high a dose on female patients as you like, assuming they don't die of horniness," he explains with a sinister smile.

"Have you mixed the crushed Gamuron capsules into the hamburger grease?" he asks his assistant.

"Yes, I've used the whole bottle," Dr. Snickett replies.

"Well, throw in another bottle for good measure. It acts like an anesthetic in high doses."

"It's really a versatile, fascinating drug," says Dr. Snickett, continuing to crush pills and dump the powder into the bucket. "Just wait until we publish our clinical studies!"

"They let you publish clinical studies from the psycho ward?!" I ask, flabbergasted.

"Of course they do. We are a major source of research grants for the hospital," the Marquis says, calmly shoving a large rubber hose into my rectum. I moan and writhe, but the hose fits in nicely. "Now we start pumping!" The Marquis calls to Dr. Snickett.

I feel something slimy shoot up me. It feels both soothing and horrible at once. Then I begin to feel a pleasantly hot sensation in my lower body. And my head begins to feel as though it's on fire.

"I see the Gamuron has kicked in," The Marquis says nearly jumping for joy. "Just look at that beautiful vulva flooding with juices, I've never seen anyone react so strongly to the drug, so quickly. Lemony, this is going to be a medical breakthrough!"

"Oh, oh!" I exclaim as Dr. Snickett continues pumping grease up my butt. "I feel so strange! It's too much fluid! Don't pump anymore! I'll explode!"

"Oh. Right. We need to adjust the dosage per rectum to compensate for the gestational bloating."

"I think she can hold the rest of it," Dr. Snickett says, assaying the practically empty bucket carefully. "The last woman held five gallons. This one ought to be good for at least three."

"Ok, continue pumping then," the Marquis orders, staring at my butt with a mixture of perverse fascination and medical detachment. "I'm going to check the vagina filling device again while we wait," he says, thrusting the humungous dildo in and out of my most sensitive orifice as I continue to swell with grease and aphrodisiac.

"I notice that you have already had some experience with Gamuron, judging by the copious amounts of cum in your hair, on your face and in all of your orifices. I've found that a small amount of urea and other key ingredients can be affective in neutralizing some of the affects of cum on a woman's sensitive skin. Would you like us to treat your cum rashes while we wait for your cervix to dilate? We still have a couple of inches left before we can convince OB to take you, we might as well treat your secondary concerns."

"And you won't need to stick anything more up my butt?" I ask, trying to push through the terrible haze of horniness that is making thinking nearly impossible.

"Of course not! We've already treated your anal injury," the Marquis says, pulling the tube out of my butt and replacing it with a champagne cork. "We are going to push your bed upright, pee on you and then flog you with a large stick. Believe me, it will not be unpleasant and it will help your mind clear a little, I think."

"Well as long as you promise not to stick anything else in my butt," I say, the thought of warm pee on my skin sounding refreshing to my Gamuron-addled brain.

"You've heard her," the Marquis calls to his partner, and together they push my bed to a standing position.

"Whee!" I exclaim, hanging from the bed by my ankles and hands, and obviously high off the Gamuron. "It's just like a roller coaster!"

"On the count of three, go for it!" The Marquis says to Dr. Snickett, and together they unleash their dirty genitals. "Ok. One, two, three!" Both penises erupt, squirting hot urine onto my hair, face and body. I open my mouth slightly to taste it.

"Wow. I've never seen a woman behave like that on Gamuron! It's too bad we aren't allowed video equipment, I would like to document this for further study!"

"I've got the flogger!" Dr. Snickett announces, pulling a long wooden paddle out of his black medical bag. "Would you like to do the honors, or shall I?"

"Let me!" The Marquis says. "I'm always up for a little S&M."

"Fine," Dr. Snickett says, a little disappointed, as he hands his partner the paddle. "I suppose I'll stand by the buzzer, just in case."

"Good idea," the Marquis says, his eyes full of fiery passion. He quickly begins to flog me with the paddle. Not too hard, just enough to leave slight red spots on my skin that quickly disappear as he continues. I gasp. My whole body so sensitive to every little feeling. Every inch of skin has become erogenous. I moan as something, either an orgasm or a contraction, I can't tell which, sweeps over me.

"Very good specimen indeed," the Marquis says in a rugged voice, his penis very hard. "I think the enema has had its affect already. We can now remove the cork." He pulls the little piece of porous wood out of my rectum, and at once, gallons of grease begin to spill out, rushing down my body and completely soiling the bed sheets as it trickles to the floor.

"Magical how quickly the body expels foreign objects," the Marquis says, dreamily playing with his cock. "Ok. I think it's time to check your dilation again."

He begins frantically maneuvering the dildo in and out of me. It feels really, really good and I cry out in pleasure.

"Get ready to hit the button. It looks like it's going all the way in," the Marquis announces over his shoulder. I hear the buzzing crackle of the intercom and then a strained female voice on the other end.

"What is it this time, Lemony?" she asks with mock concern.

"Beatrice, the nice lady you sent us is about to have a baby. She's fully dilated and her contractions are very frequent. We haven't measured them exactly but I'd guess

maybe five minutes."

"Are you sure, Lemony? You two haven't been using that obscene tool of yours to pretend to be gynecologists again, have you? The last ten women we put in that room with you all decided to give birth."

"Well yes, pregnant women have a way of doing that if you keep them locked up long enough," Mr. Snickett replies off-handedly. But it's this woman we are discussing now, and if you don't want the Marquis and I to deliver her baby you should send someone from OB to see her now. Think of the lawsuit on your hands if this woman delivers in the psychiatric ward!"

"Ok, I'll be there myself in ten minutes," Beatrice replies.

"Make it sooner if you can," Mr. Snickett adds. "She looks like she's in a lot of pain." I wish I didn't hear that last bit, because the moment he says it, I realize it's true. I am in a lot of pain. It hurts so badly I can't stand it. I want this damn baby out of me already. Why isn't it out already? After everything I've been through, you'd think I'd earned a pain-free delivery. The Marquis rubs my forehead soothingly with his filthy hand. I yell at him to take it away and he only laughs.

"Women in labor always get a bit snippy. I'm glad to see you are no exception." He smiles broadly. A moment later, a nurse who must be Beatrice rushes into the room, restores the bed to horizontal position, and wheels me out of the room, nodding politely to the Marquis.

"When is your due date?" she asks me as she pushes me down the hall, past a line of staring patients.

"A week from Tuesday, but what does that matter? I'm going into labor now."

"Your water is still intact and you're delivering early. That qualifies you for a study on the effects of stopping advanced labor. As you probably know, if you have been keeping up with the news recently, a new research shows that children who are born a few days early are more susceptible to early peer pressure and thus more likely to smoke pot and end up in gangs. If you participate in this study, your child will have a better chance at growing up to be a healthy individual. The average life expectancy of gang members is 19 years," Beatrice says as we wait for the elevator.