All Comments on 'The Hotel Room Next Door'

This category seems to be moving away from erotica and toward pornography and much of it rape, sadistic and brutal porn. Language, spelling and grammar along with

punctuation standards have fallen and more commenters are abusing anyone who dares to mention this. I know that I don't have to read it but I miss the classier stuff that we had in the past.

A Ditto

I'm sorry you feel that way about this story, is it really that bad?

I take full responsibility for any literary errors. In the month that I have been trying I had not been able to find a VE, This has now changed and hopefully future stories will be improved.

It is actually based on a situation described to me as factual, I was not present so can not vouch for the accuracy other than the minor parts I have embellished, like the conversation, the only other two people to have read it prior to submission are the Mother and Son. Obviously the details have been changed to protect the people concerned, especially her clients. If it’s of interest it was I who pointed him to her entry on a well known escort web site.

Thanks to all those who have read my work so far, I look forward to some suggestions on where this could go from here and also constructive critique.

H

One of the main turn-ons of the incest/taboo category is that we know the relationship of the characters in order to build the tension leading to the fun.

When you try to have a surprise ending like this, you take away the most titillating aspect of the story. That doesn't make sense.

This was just a circus freak story, the fat lady and the dwarf. There wasn't anything exciting about that, except maybe as something for the fetish category. It just didn't work.

Thanks for this comment, you have made a very fair point which is far more useful to me than the first.

I will most certainly take this on board for future submissions and am already thinking how to alter another story that is already written

It's really that bad. I say a complete redo is in order. I been there myself.