All Comments on 'The House Ch. 02'

by JELB_42

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  • 4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
You still have good ideas...

... but, seriously, find someone to proof read and edit your stories before you submit them.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago
MORE MORE MORE

hey excellent story really you should keep it up and make at least one more chapter where all of them are having fun get some f/d m/s f/s as well some one on one with each of them

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Very seriously ....

Please take the advise of a previous reader. Have someone who actually attended School, proofread your submissions.

Your spelling & punctuation is diabolical. The bad grammar makes the story very hard to read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Krud

It could have been good if another writer had done this. You have no idea of how to use 'new' vs 'knew' vs 'know vs 'now'. Just because words sound alike does not mean that they have the same meaning and/or used the same way. Your punctuation is almost non-existant. I say these things not to be mean or nasty. These things I mentioned are things that the reader has to deal with while trying to enjoy the story. Could've been a '5' star, but I had to give it a '2'.

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