All Comments on 'The Hungry Wolf Ch. 05'

I really like Charlie and Damian. Here's a great idea for a twist: what if Mira and Becky turned out to be mates?

now thats an interesting twist lmao

I feel Like after waiting forever for this it just wasn't what I wanted. The writing and plot were great but I was left wanting so so so much more from it. Just wasn't enough to tide me over until the next chapter. However I can't decide if its because I wanted more smut or more plot. :/ keep going though!! I need to know what happens next!

Love the interaction and your descriptive writing of this couple. it's almost as if I/m there with them.Well written.

Actually, from the time Charlie mentioned it, I thought Becky and Mira were gonna be mates. I was just waiting for Becky's visit. She'd definitely make Mira behave. :0)

LOVED it when Charlie kicked Damien in the head. That is SO something my clumsy ass would do! The humor continues to make this story sing.

Loved it, the characters, the story, everything! I hope it isn't close to being finished.

I'm having a hard time figuring out what it is about this story that I like most, whether it is the plot and the fact you seem to know where you're going, the depth you give to your characters, making them so easy to love and relate to, or simply your wonderful, humorous, descriptive -- and still not overly descriptive -- style of writing... I'll think on it and let you know after I'm done reading chapter 6.

Oh wait. Right. There isn't one. That's a problem, because I really need it right now.

But I found a typo:

Page 4 -- he called after her as a thin young MAN brought in a huge tray of food. "Thank you, Cindy. That will be all."

"Mr. Dimeo," SHE said, bowing slightly. "Congratulations, sir."

I presume you meant to write 'woman' instead.

Other than that, I love it. (Sorry, but I'm anal retentive about these things. Don't worry; it won't lower my vote score, which is still 5* ;) )

I love the pace and how rational you are with the timing of things. Charlie has come around slowly and still has hangups about herself and the change in lifestyle. She didn't magically become acclimatized to their culture in a few days. I like that. It makes it more believable. Loved this chapter and I'm looking forward to more.

More more more!!! This story is so captivating!! One second I'm on the edge of my seat, the next I'm laughing like a little girl then the next I'm almost crying!!! I can't wait til the next chapter!!

i have yet to put down my phone reading this is just pure bliss!!!!! its like my own personal drug!!! one minute im laughing ghe next im amazed another im aroused keep it up!!!! and please post more!!

NO! Don't stop! Damn it! I love your stories but my god they taunt me!

The other werewolf-story writers are going to get mad at me, but I have to say, this is the 'most intelligent' werewolf story yet. You knit things together in an oddly plausible way – well done.

Still loving your dialogue:

' "Damien's not a Republican, is he?"

"No, he's not," Charlie laughed.'

– made me laugh out loud, and

' "You would be perfect if you were nothing more than a head on a tray" ' had me positively cackling, then wondering how long it takes you to write this stuff. Your dialogue has a lovely cadence not generally found in stories on this site.

Going into editor-mode:

"Cold?" he asked with a smirk, catching her body's reaction.

She arched her eyebrow at his arrogant tone and smirked right back. "Why? Do you think you could warm me up?"

This is a common error on Lit: "Smirk" means "to smile in an affected, often offensively self-satisfied manner", "an affected, often offensively self-satisfied smile", "a smile expressing scorn, smugness, etc., rather than pleasure" – it's a smile that ALWAYS has a negative connotation. Options would be, simply: "grin", "laugh", "look amused" or, in this context, "leer". "Leer" has a definite sexual connotation, and can be positive or negative depending on association – where the context is positive, one can assume that a degree of teasing or humour is involved. I'd suggest "leer" as your best option.

Splendid as usual!

Hey there - today is Monday, October 27, 2014, and yes, I am alive.

Sorry to have left you all so long, sorrier still to have left Damian and Charlie for so long. I have been through almost a year of one heartbreak after another. An end to a marriage of almost two decades, an end to a new relationship, an end to friendships I thought were wholly unbreakable...the pain, the hurt, was real, it was physical, and it clouded everything. Even the precious time I spent with the Dimeos and Charlie.

Yeah, I know how it sounds. But consider this: it's not an EXCUSE. It's an explanation.

It took me a while to get over it all. But I did. The past is the past; I cannot change what happened, and honestly don't think I would wish to at this point.

I appreciate everyone's patience and understanding. I am writing again. It was hard to start again, but that - thankfully - was short lived. Even better, I am hearing Damien and Charlie and Becky and everyone again. Which is a grand thing.

I will have the next chapter up ASAP.

Best,

-W

.

Beautifully written, sexy as hell.

You painted her as super clumsy. It's hard to be good at Krav Maga (8 years) and be that clumsy. And she'd said before the only place she's not clumsy is the kitchen.

Weird how Charlie is well above average at every extracurriular activity she's ever tried. I guess as a grown woman that doesn't date she'd have alot of free time to get good at stuff? But her finances were never mentioned. How in hell does she have the money to study cooking professionally, even at a community college? Going to seminars & workhops too? And take Krav Maga lessons for 8 years? And re-build a motorcycle? But then she has to sell it for the money before she moves out of NM. I get it's fiction but it seems wild that she'd have the money for that long to get good at all the stuff she does in her spare time.

I also noticed that slip, and was going to comment on it when I saw that the issue had already been addressed.