The Ice-Breaker Ch. 03

Her eyes lifted to one of the big screens on the wall behind the bar and her heart leapt in her chest as the players were shown coming out of the locker room tunnels. Her eyes spotted Alex and she followed him around the ice as best as she could. Soon enough, the game was fully underway and she was on the edge of her seat.

Joel stopped by and leaned on the counter beside her, watching the game during his quiet moments. Kaitlyn hardly paid him any attention; her eyes were glued to the game. As the first intermission began, she was reluctant to return to work.

"Go," Joel urged her. "You'll hate yourself if you don't. Alex will call you later, just like he promised."

Kaitlyn made a face at her cousin, hating that she was so transparent. She didn't think she'd turned into one of those needy women whose life revolved around a man, but she'd readily admit that she missed Alex and missed having him nearby. Their long talks and his comforting embrace had been a balm for her on her first days back to work after her time off. Those were the days that had convinced her that this could work between them.

I just need to see him, she told herself as she bundled up. She hurried outside and crossed the parking lot to the bookstore at a rapid pace, not wanting to feel the cold. I miss him and I don't care anymore that we've known each other for less than a month.

Admitting that, admitting that she cared about him and wanted to see him, made her realize that if they were both willing to make this work, then they would.

Smiling to herself, she returned to work and stifled the urge to hug everyone she knew. As it was, she got strange looks from her closer employees and a 'you're crazy' head crank from one of her shift supervisors. Lucky for him, she was in such a fine mood, she didn't reprimand him. Maybe she would come down hard later, at home alone, without Alex around, but for now, she was satisfied knowing that he was at least thinking of her. She hoped.

"What's with you, Kait?" Jenna, a part-time employee, asked as she stocked a shelf with some new releases.

Kaitlyn looked over at Jenna with a smile on her face that faded when she saw Jenna's scowl. "What?" she asked.

"You're humming. You never hum while stocking shelves."

"Was I?" Kaitlyn replied and stacked a couple more copies of the paperback into the open space before her. "I guess I'm just in a good mood."

Jenna snorted and moved to her other side to begin rearranging the titles on that shelf. "I'd heard you were seeing someone."

Kaitlyn had to laugh at that. "Of course. Because only a man could make me feel this good, right?"

Jenna raised her eyebrows at Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn smirked and turned back to the books. She didn't notice she was humming again until Jenna exclaimed and pointed a finger.

"There! You're doing it again." She slammed the books in her hand down on the trolley beside them and crossed her arms over her chest. "I refuse to do any more until you tell me what is going on."

Laughing, Kaitlyn continued to stock the shelf in front of her. She relented and told Jenna about her boyfriend. Jenna maintained the same straight face and patiently listened to Kaitlyn. After several minutes, Kaitlyn stopped talking, wondering if she'd overshared again. A month ago she'd never have pegged herself as a too-much-info kind of woman, but she couldn't seem to help herself. She loved to talk about Alex.

What's happened to me? she wondered, a giddy smile touching her lips.

"What happened to you?" Jenna asked, so closely echoing Kaitlyn's thoughts that Kaitlyn wondered if she'd spoken out loud.

"What do you mean?" Kaitlyn replied.

"You've never been so... over the top for a guy," Jenna said. "In fact, I can't ever remember you even talking about a guy before."

"I've dated," Kaitlyn protested. I've just never dated someone I want to talk about all the time, she added silently. Jenna continued to stare at her until Kaitlyn flushed.

"I've gotta say, Kait," Jenna said as she turned back to the books. "I'm a little disappointed."

"Excuse me?" Kaitlyn just about dropped a book. She turned to look at Jenna. "What do you mean by that?"

Jenna shrugged and tossed her a weak smile. "You've always been this strong, independent woman. Now-" she paused and shrugged "-you're dating someone."

Kaitlyn waited, thinking she had something more to add, but when Jenna fell silent, Kaitlyn didn't know what to think. She tried to stock a few more shelves but her mind was spinning from Jenna's words. Abruptly, she ordered Jenna to finish with this section and then she stalked to the back office.

At her desk, she stared at the wall, thinking about Jenna's words. She shouldn't care so much about what a part-time employee had to say about her, one she'd never been close to, but for some reason, Jenna's words had hit a soft spot. Kaitlyn had always prided herself on being independent, strong-willed, determined to see every task through to the end. She suspected Jenna had hit a nerve just because Kaitlyn's mind had so recently been occupied with her own doubts.

Kaitlyn tried to shrug off Jenna's words but by the time she headed home for the night, she was in a foul mood. Even Alex's phone call wouldn't ease her mind.

"Hello, gorgeous," Alex's warm voice greeted her when she answered the phone.

She snorted and shook her head. "You wouldn't be calling me gorgeous if you saw me right now."

"Well, that's debatable," Alex replied with a laugh. "Are you covered in mud and have you shaved your head bald?"

"Would you still call me gorgeous if I was?"

"Yes."

Kaitlyn let his automatic and swift response warm her for a minute before her bad mood returned. "You're calling me kind of late."

"Uh, yeah, I wanted to wait to call until we'd flown to Detroit," he replied, his tone hesitant, as if he sensed she wasn't in the best mood. "Are you busy?"

"I'm always busy. You had a good game?"

A brief pause before Alex answered, long enough that she stopped cleaning her dishes to glare blankly at the wall. "It was all right," he said, his tone cautious now. "I'm guessing you didn't watch it?"

"I was working today, Alex," she snapped. "You think I can just take off whenever I want to watch you play?"

"I don't expect you to," he replied. "You know that."

Kaitlyn exhaled noisily and dropped her dish cloth in the soapy water, mindless of the splash. "I'm sorry, Alex. I'm just tired. Can we talk tomorrow?"

"Sure," he agreed, sounding to Kaitlyn like he was eager to get off the phone. "I'll call you after practice."

"I'm working."

A pause. "OK. Then, how about you call me when you're off tomorrow night?"

Kaitlyn wrestled with the urge to tell him that they didn't have to talk every night. She didn't know why she'd let Jenna's words get to her. The memory of her brief conversation with the other woman made her feel instantly guilty for treating Alex this way.

"Alex, I'm sorry," she breathed, closing her eyes and resting one hand against the kitchen counter.

"For what?" he asked, his voice soft, patient.

Kaitlyn winced. She couldn't believe she'd snapped so badly at him. "For talking to you like that. I just... I had a weird day and it's not your fault."

"That's good." He gave a soft laugh and Kaitlyn smiled. "I was afraid you were pissed that I didn't call right after the game."

"No, of course not. I don't expect you to drop everything just to talk to me."

"What if I want to?"

"You shouldn't. Our lives can't stop or turn upside down just because we're dating now. I want you to still have your routine."

"And you still want your routine?"

"Yes. Exactly."

For a minute, Alex didn't say anything. Kaitlyn opened her eyes and bit her lip, afraid she'd said something wrong.

"Alex?"

"I'm here."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No. I didn't realize you felt that way."

"What way?"

"Like I'm interfering with your life."

She gaped, her eyes popping wide open. "I didn't say that!"

"You didn't have to."

Now he definitely sounded upset. That was the last thing Kaitlyn had wanted. "You're not interfering, Alex."

"Then why would you say that?"

"I didn't say it! You did! I only said-"

"That you didn't want me to mess with your routine," he cut her off.

"Because I thought I was messing with yours," Kaitlyn replied, unable to figure out where she'd gone wrong. Around the time you snapped at him for even calling tonight, a little voice in her head answered her.

Again, Alex fell silent.

"Alex, please. I didn't mean to say that you were messing up my life," she said. "You're not. I just had a bad day and this all started out so wrong."

"This call? Or us?"

"This call!" she exclaimed, shocked that he'd even suggest their relationship was what was wrong. Maybe she'd been so worried about herself working things out that she hadn't stopped to consider what Alex might think. Maybe he doesn't want to try anymore, either, she thought, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth.

"Alex, please say something," she whispered, tears stinging the backs of her eyes.

"What do you want me to say?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said. I... I'm just, I'm sorry."

"I know," he replied in a soft tone and she could hear him sigh. "Listen, it's late. You're tired, I'm tired. Why don't we just talk when I get home?"

"When you get home?" Kaitlyn repeated, her eyes flicking to the calendar on her fridge. "But that's not for three days." She knew she sounded weak and needy, but hearing Alex say anything about them being 'wrong,' worried her. She knew deep down she was still the same strong, independent woman, but she was also falling hard and fast for him. It was terrifying to think he wasn't on the same wavelength.

"I know," he said.

They both fell silent and Kaitlyn pressed a hand to her chin to still the sudden trembling.

"Have a good sleep, Kaitlyn," he said after a moment. "I'll talk to you Wednesday."

"OK," she mumbled and blinked as the phone call ended. Kaitlyn, he'd said, not gorgeous.

Shivering, Kaitlyn set the phone down and finished the dishes. Then she went to bed, pulling the covers over her fully clothed body.

***

Alex lay on his hotel room bed the afternoon before the game in Detroit and wondered what he'd been thinking. After talking to Kaitlyn on Sunday night, he'd been unable to sleep. It led to a sloppy practice the following day and a second restless sleep on Monday night. Now it was Tuesday, and he couldn't seem to get his mind to settle enough to nap before the game. On the bed across from him, his roommate, Cory, was out cold.

He never has a problem sleeping, Alex thought jealously. Probably because he's married and doesn't worry about her never speaking to him again.

He'd sensed right away when Kaitlyn had answered the phone on Sunday night that something was wrong. He wasn't sure if she was upset with him, or if she'd just had a horrible day. After snapping at him a bit, she'd apologized and then said they shouldn't be changing their lives to include each other.

Oh, those hadn't been her exact words but that's what Alex had come away from the conversation with.

A full day and a half later, he felt like an idiot. He felt like an even bigger idiot for suggesting they not speak until Wednesday.

How could I have thought I could go that long without talking to her? he wondered, clenching his jaw and glaring at the ceiling. Talking to her had become such an important part of his daily routine that he honestly didn't know how to fill the time now. Not that they'd ever talked for hours on end, but twenty minutes, even five, was enough to let her calming influence work on him and he'd been able to face anything after that.

Now, he was filled with doubt and regret. He wondered if she'd realized she didn't like him being out of town and that's why she'd snapped. Maybe she didn't like waiting for his call and said those things so she could start to distance herself. He'd never suspected her of being that sort of woman, but they had known each other just a few weeks, after all.

Shaking his head, Alex rolled over and hugged a pillow between his arms, closing his eyes. They might not have known each other for very long, but he knew it was enough. They'd both been tired the other night and maybe being apart from each other had allowed some doubts to creep in. He would just have to get over his hurt and apologize to Kaitlyn for his reaction.

She was just trying to be honest with me and I bit her head off, he thought, cringing when he recalled his words. She'd been instantly apologetic and before they'd hung up, he'd been able to hear the tremor in her voice. That made him feel like the biggest jackass on the planet.

***

The team flew back to Calgary late on Tuesday night and Alex barely slept once he got back to his empty house. After tossing and turning for an hour, he'd fallen into a fitful sleep, dreaming of Kaitlyn running circles around him. In the morning, he got up and dialed Kaitlyn's number. She didn't answer and Alex considered calling the bookstore to track her down.

A glance at the clock told him he had limited time before he had to leave for practice, so he decided to just try calling her again when he got home. He couldn't even wait that long; he tried calling her the second he walked out of the locker room at the Saddledome. This time she answered her phone at home.

"Hello?" She sounded out of breath.

"Kaitlyn, I'm so glad you're home," he replied and quickened his pace through the building. He was in a hurry now to get to his car and get to Kaitlyn's apartment.

"Alex?" she replied, sounding startled to hear from him.

He laughed as he swung a door open and started jogging across the parking lot. "You were expecting someone else?"

"No, I... I just didn't think you'd call," she said, her voice dropping low.

Alex's pace slowed and his stomach tensed. "I told you I would."

"I know."

They fell silent. It had never felt this awkward between them, even when Joel and Julia had invited themselves to dinner at Kaitlyn's house that one time.

"Can I come over?" Alex blurted, begging her silently to say yes.

"Sure," she whispered and Alex broke into a sprint, reaching his car in seconds.

"Great. I'm just leaving the 'dome," he told her. "I'll see you in fifteen minutes."

She laughed and Alex's heart lifted. "Don't you dare. It's the middle of the day and there's no way you can make it here in that amount of time without breaking numerous laws."

Grinning, Alex pulled his keys out and got in his car. "I'll see you soon, gorgeous."

They ended the call and Alex took off. He wasn't sure if he broke any traffic laws and it did end up taking him longer than he thought to reach Kaitlyn's apartment. He went back and forth between panic and worry on the drive, wondering if he'd screw this conversation up like he had the last time.

At Kaitlyn's building, she buzzed him in right away and he took the stairs, leaping over them two at a time, instead of waiting for the elevator. Kaitlyn was standing in her doorway, arms crossed over her stomach, when he reached her floor. He didn't stop, running down the hallway and sweeping her up into his arms.

She didn't pull away and Alex dropped his head, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "God, I missed you," he mumbled, breathing her in.

She laughed and her arms went around his shoulders. "Me too." She tried to pull away but Alex wasn't about to let her go. "Alex, you mind if we take this inside? I have a few nosy neighbors."

Alex released her just enough so that they could walk into her apartment. Then she led him into the living room where he pulled her close again. He kissed her all over her face before finding her lips. She hugged him back, rising onto her toes and returning his kiss for all she was worth. Groaning, Alex fisted his hands in her shirt and lifted her right off her feet as he devoured her.

I don't want to go another moment without this, he thought.

Eventually, he drew back, looking down into her face and smiling at the dazed look in her eyes. She met his gaze and blushed.

"I thought you'd still be mad at me," she whispered.

Alex put his palm to her warm cheek and shook his head. "I could never stay mad at you."

"I'm glad," she replied and drew in a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Alex."

"No, I'm sorry," he said. "You were just trying to be honest and I was a total jerk."

She shook her head. "I shouldn't have said what I did." Her fingers squeezed his biceps and she looked earnestly into his eyes. "I don't want you to think I don't want you in my life. I don't care how much I have to rearrange to see you. I want to."

"I was stupid and thought you were trying to let me down easy," he confessed with a sheepish smile. It was remarkable how foolish his reaction had been. Standing there, his arms around Kaitlyn, her green eyes shining so brilliantly at him, he couldn't believe he'd thought she didn't want to be around him.

"I wasn't!" she exclaimed.

"I know that now," he assured her, brushing his thumb across her cheek.

"I just had a bad day and I shouldn't have snapped at you," she went on. "This girl at the store, she said she was disappointed I'd become one of those women who dropped everything for some guy."

Alex's eyes widened. He knew Kaitlyn well enough to know that she was the last woman who would ever do that. He could well understand why she'd been so snappy when he'd called Sunday night.

"I worried that I'd become that type of woman too," Kaitlyn confessed and smiled. "Then I realized I was being stupid. I wasn't like that, and even if I was-" she paused and gave a cute little half-shrug "-so what?"

"So what?" Alex echoed with a chuckle.

"Yeah. You're the only guy I've ever wanted to drop everything for."

"Kaitlyn, I don't want you to have to give anything up for me," he told her, pulling her close.

She gave him a sexy smile that had his blood pumping hard through his body. "That's exactly why I want to."

He swallowed, feeling her move against his body and wondering if she could feel how excited she made him. Her eyelashes lowered and she dropped her eyes for a second before meeting his gaze again. Now her expression was definitely naughty and Alex opened and closed his mouth a few times before he managed actual words.

"Well... good." Yes, a regular Casanova, he was.

He felt his face heating up at his inane response but Kaitlyn let out giggle and pulled his head close for a kiss.

For several long minutes, he lost himself in the kiss. She was so warm in his arms, so soft and pliable. Her fingers were teasing the hair at the back of his head and he was growing harder by the second. She pushed her hips against him and he clutched her waist with a groan, breaking their kiss.

"I have something to say," he announced, not surprised when his voice was rough.

"So say it," she replied breathlessly and pressed a hot kiss to his cheek. Then she slid her lips over his skin until she was nibbling a trail from his ear to his chin.

"Christ, Kaitlyn," he groaned, his eyes sliding shut.

"Hurry up and say what you want to say," she whispered, her warm breath now stroking the open space at the collar of his shirt.

Say? he thought, his mind cloudy. He couldn't remember wanting to say anything. All he was aware of was Kaitlyn's soft body moving against his, her tongue lapping along his collarbone, her little fingers parting his jacket and the buttons of his shirt underneath.

"Kaitlyn," he murmured, running his palm up her back. He grinned at her shudder and repeated the motion, chuckling darkly when she added a tiny sound the second time.