All Comments on 'The Inheritance Pt. 01'

This could have ben a great story, but the abysmal punctuation, out of place words, and stilted grammar cause me to stop reading after the prologue.

Some people can write without errors. Many, including myself, need constant self-editing, and an objective outside editor or two as well. Please don't post anything else without going through this process. Most Literotica readers look for writers with Hs as a first filter, and an occasional new writer.

The story itself shows promise, but the structure itself: grammar, punctuation, word choice and use, paragraph formatting and flow, are so poor that I just couldn't keep reading.

Please have one of the volunteers editors here go through it and help you, then re-submit. Every author needs a good proof reader and a good editor. Don't feel badly about reaching out for help.

As stated a great first effort, all that is needed is a good proof reader and the errors will be sorted easily. The story and content is good and well worth continuing.

I liked the opening well enough, but had to quit: I just couldn't take all the misspellings and misplaced commas. Your kingdom for a good editor.

two storie, no end.

and fowl mouthed

SHOULD BE:

and FOUL mouthed

Once apart of the

SHOULD BE:

Once A PART of the