All Comments on 'The Inn Ch. 10'

Beautifully written, I genuinely am unsure which way you'll take this, personally I'd have him leave and use it as a chance at some really intensive world-building, but staying seems more in keeping with the style and characters.

My one criticism is you're starting to overuse cliffhangers as a device to end chapters.

Thanks for the compliment and the suggestions!

We'll see soon enough which direction Simon goes ...

: )

trouble edges closer for simon and Leyna and please post the next chapter as soon as possible. who is your assassin character based on or another oc of yours. please keep simon and leyna together somehow.

I'm working away at the next chapter right now. Life is keeping me pretty busy, though, so I can't promise exactly when it will post.

I'd say Valdazirit Cang is mostly original. She's a bit of a female version of a male character I wrote into a short story 20-odd years ago, but her personality is fairly different. I suppose the idea of a cursed gem influencing someone's behavior owes a tip of the hat to Michael Moorcock's Dorian Hawkmoon, hero of The Jewel in the Skull and numerous other books. But Hawkmoon's jewel didn't actually change his personality -- it was just a form of blackmail that the bad guys could make eat his brain if he didn't do what they wanted him to.

Glad you're liking the story ... thanks for commenting!

Love this story! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Thanks! Chapter 11 is going pretty well so far. Hopefully it won't take me more than a week or two!

This series is easily the best I've ever read on Literotica (as well as other erotica sites). I honestly wish this series was a novel in of itself, it's so good. Not just on an erotic standpoint but also in terms of general writing, the character development, the humor. Keep going, I wouldn't mind it if this series went on forever. :)

Wow! That's an awesome compliment about being the best story you've read on the site, to be sure. I hope the remainder of the story can live up to it! I'm afraid all good things do come to an end, though, and if I were to try to make this story go on forever, we'd probably all regret it. : )

As for being a novel in and of itself, I will eventually publish it that way, as I do most of my work. Contrast and Big Flipping Deal are both in the queue to be revised for publication before The Inn, though, so it will be a bit after this storyline wraps up before it's available independently.

Thanks so much for your wonderful and appreciative words. It's marvelous to hear that people are enjoying the story that much!

Well, shit. I would say that the manure has definitely hit whatever passes for a desk fan in the Phaeland.

When you do get Big Flipping Deal revised and published I'd be interested in hearing about it ;)

Assassin at the Ass's Ass Inn lol.

Actually, that's in one of the later chapters, when a copromancer arrives at the inn and summons a planal vortex from the elemental dimension of shite.

; )

I'll try to remember to pm you when I get BFD out. It'll be a bit, though, as I've still got at least four chapters to go on The Inn before I'm freed up to start the BFD revisions.

Thanks for your ever-entertaining comments!

(p.s., your last line gave me an idea for a hired killer who slays people with a deadly sharp tongue: the sassassin!)

"Palanal vortex" is a groan worthy pun even for me :p

Hmmm, the Sassassin. I'm seeing.... A beautiful Arabian woman with a deathly stare, dressed in classic loose silk trous. The cultured killer, she speaks a few different languages fluently with a lingering accent that seems to make her words that much more cutting. Once she has reduced her target to a mentally disarrayed and confused heap, her snake familiar slithers over for one last fatally biting remark.

Yeah, the snakes a stretch but with that many hissing sibilants in her name she had to have one, and the fangs are perfect.

Fangs for the idea!

After the victim dies, I see her teleporting away in a puff of smoke via two circles and a snap.

Well, that didn't go as I expected even though it went exactly as I expected.

*shakes head*

J