All Comments on 'The Lady Inside Ch. 02'

Thank you Sophia

Jerry xoxo

Stunning Sophia. Xxxxxx

Cindy

Plz continue this story its brill

Since you're trying to become a professional writer, I'll give you my honest thoughts.

-Story helps make us care for the characters and that makes us care more about the fucking later on. You clearly know this and you invested some effort into fleshing out the characters. Anna seems like a clear cut transsexual but she also has some upbringing hang-ups (i.e. she doesn't quite seem to get the difference between gay and trans, or has some similar issues), her coming to terms with this (or not) is an avenue to explore. Likewise the looming threat of her family finding out, as well as the need for her to (ideally) tell them off and be who she wants to be, even it costs her the luxuries she is used to.

Overall Anna is in a good spot but the guy... David (had to look up his name, that is telling), is kinda bland. He is very hot for her, accepts her, wants them to be together... those would be his main attributes, and that's pretty bland. I like that he is kinda questioning her motives and where this is all going, I also like that he has some wit, you can build on that to give him some more personality. And while it's good that he is questioning her level of commitment, it is a double edged sword. Many guys fantasize about tgrils or end up with them but how many can introduce them as such to their friends and family? Maybe this relationship's fate depends on both of them coming together to work out their unique problems. You may or may not choose to explore what I wrote about, but always keep in mind that story matters and proceed with that understanding (there are many stories with poor sex scenes that I read eagerly because I wanted to know what happens next, not that you should shoot for that, but).

-As far as the sex goes, you've improved since the first story, mainly by making the sex scenes more descriptive. Good sex scenes are 1) not short but not extremely long either (you've improved here) 2) very descriptive (also better) and 3) enhanced by character emotions (more on that after). The last two are important because on some level, sex is pretty mechanical, and if the writer does not take great care when writing sex scenes it can easily boil down to, in, out, in, out, the end. It's the sexy words that make it... juicy. So, lots of descriptive words, sexy, words, sexy euphemisms, dirty words, how the acts make the characters feel (physically)... just pack as many of them in there as you can without it sounding silly (though sometimes silly is good). The last thing, emotions, are very important. They are the one thing visual porn can never match, it's literotica's trump card. It is how characters feel about what they are doing, it can be as simple as reacting in happiness to the pleasure received, it can be a deep feeling of love and contentment when doing it with a beloved, and it can be something even deeper if that sexual encounter resonates with something big in the character's psyche. You get the idea, build a character well and you will know what emotions to weave into the sex scene. Depending on where the PoV of the story lies, you can explore emotions of one, both or more characters, that's just writing style.

So to recap, make the sex scene of decent length, use lots of juicy words and incorporate character feelings (both physical and emotional) into the narrative.

Alright so, I really hope you keep on writing this series and that this post of mine helped. The story is quite hot and interesting, I especially enjoy stories with submissive M2Fs and their coming of age (i.e. early steps as a woman), yours fits my tastes pretty well. This chapter deserves a 5 star, though the first one is more of a 4 star I gave that one 5 as well as an incentive to you and it will help your story get attention, reads and comments.

Good luck with your future work and I hope to read more soon :)

I really wish you would come back and continue this story. It's almost been a year so I don't think it will happen I do hope you would.