by stories55
not know how to show what is intended to be "speech"?
Without being able to separate "speech" from descriptive this is a boring story!!
2*
This was a very erotic story. As the other reviews said, the writing was a little rough. I would really enjoy reading about where this relationship goes to.
Thank you for writing and posting here.
Great story hope you have more in store for these characters
Interesting character dynamics, some fun sex scenes, but amateurish writing (most times there are no divide between narrative text and speech, making it a tad confusing to follow). Since this was posted like 5 years ago, I'm assuming you've had time to better your craft. I'd love to read some new stuff from you, you've got potential for hot stories!