All Comments on 'The Lake House Lessons 12'

You do develop your characters well. I really enjoyed this series. ~ CajunBill

The reason that I enjoy your writing so much is you captured the mind of the narrator jack completely. And it was very easy to relate to him from an emotional perspective. I would be very intrigued to read a series from dana's perspective also. Thanks for an amazing story and please continue writing.

sadly with him marrying someone other than dana you ost me as a reader for any further related series. i would have been ok with him getting any of the other girls from the lake house party.

great ending to a great series. can't wait to read what happens next.

That ending reminded me of the last episode of The Wonder Years, where Kevin and Winnie don't end up together. I guess it was inevitable in this story, and I'm glad to know that Dana and Jack actually did date exclusively for a time and became REAL lifelong friends. Hearing what everyone ended up doing in life is like looking back wistfully at old friendships (and fuck buddies) come and gone. Very nostalgic. It seems like everyone had their happy ending. Great series. I loved it. I'm looking forward to reading Dana's take on these events.

You ruined the story. Why would you ruin the ENTIRE story by posting this crap of an ending. Why do authors always do an amazing job of the story but completely fail at the end of the story!!!!! If there was a 1/2 star then you would have got it. I wish I could go back and rate the other chapters the same. You gave us all great hope when you ended his relationship with Gina. You even showed that Dana felt something more for him!!! Why would you write this crap! He married someone that wasn't in the story and Dana's ending was complete BS! I won't be reading any more of your stories! The ending MADE NO SENSE WITH THE FLOW OF THE STORY!!!

for your positive comments. For those of you who are angry that Jack doesn't end up with Dana, please remember that they were in high school, and how often these days do people end up with their high school sweethearts? Also, I think that the story showed that there was something that meant that they were not "soulmates." Finally, there is a sequel coming, and maybe it will make you all happy. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through this.

First and foremost, I really liked this story, it had some really awesome characters and the storyline was great. However the ending ultimately ruined it for me. Unlike some of the other commenters I have no problem with Jack not ending up with Dana, like the others I would have preferred it but it is not a big deal for me. I am just not sure why I had to read twelve chapters to find out he didn't end up with ANY of the characters in the actual storyline. I mean seriously, you could have just made this story one chapter and saved us all the time and effort of finding out that he would end up with someone we never even met once in the entire story. Not sure how a sequel is going to help this one now that we all know how it ends...

Some of the frustration, but I tried to make the story have some realism. I guess I don't know many people, anymore, who end up marrying someone they met in high school, which is a time when emotions run wild. That was my choice, and it generally seems like people like it, although I understand that it isn't unanimous.

As for the sequel,. all I will say now is that it is set 30 years after this, and the epilogue doesn't follow the characters that far, so I have the freedom to do what I want with the characters. If that doesn't give away the ending, then you aren't paying attention.

Jay, this was an awesome series! And even thought I have only commented on this last one, I gave all the stories top rankings. The character development was incredible and it was great to see Jack progress from a naive sex-crazed, scared boy into a smarter, experienced sex-crazed young man. You were able to describe his relationships with everyone in depth physicallyand emotionally (not just the girls he slept with very well) and they felt like real people interacting in daily life. This however, also led to a flaw in the story, in that you tried to make it too "real" with the over-the-top-happy ending. So what if people don't realistically end up with their high school sweethearts. These stories are more than often fantasy and should end with a little mystery (ex. they date in college and that's all we know) It might have gone a little far to make up these exorbitant careers and lives for the people in the story who were merely role players (Cara, Fiona, Natalie,, etc..) Even though you went through the trouble of inventing stories for them all it seemed unnecessary and a little rushed. Sorry for the negative feedback, one bad page shouldn't take away from a great series that was highly erotic and a was a huge distraction from work week in and week out!! Thanks for cranking them out and keeping it steamy and sexy! Will definitely read the Dana perspective! Good luck

I appreciate your feedback. I wrote this as a challenge to myself--I've done a very little writing in the past (nothing published, just for classes and workshops), and never was comfortable writing sex scenes. After randomly finding Literotica, I decided to force myself to try, but I was never sure if I was going to actually post it. So, when I got to the end, I wanted to bring some closure to the characters and wrote the epilogue. When I decided to post the story, I thought the readers might, too.

But, to be honest, I liked the characters I had created and that is why I wrote the Dana's Side series, which I will post soon, and the two sequels that describe Jack and Dana's relationship after the Epilogue (neither of which as currently written have explicit sex scenes). As I have indicated in other comments, I've written another piece focusing on a very minor character that only mentions Jack and Dana, a second piece in which College Jack is a major character (but is really about another person) and am working on another one that takes place at the beginning of their senior year in high school, but focuses on an entirely different crowd of kids, although Dana is mentioned, as the alpha girl, and may have a brief appearance-I haven't finished yet, but I can see a way to get her into a scene.

Then, I think I will try to write some stories in a different universe, with new characters. But at some point, I may return, and am thinking that there might be something to write about Dana in or after college, Sarah and Steve and maybe Ariel. We'll see.

ok this was easliy the BEST series i ever read on here i loved it i cant wait for danas point of view

How long do we have to wait for the after epilogue series?? Don't you think 30 years is a long time to wait in between though? I loved 95% of this story. The ending was not pleasant. I felt that you missed an incredible opportunity in the scene where jack asked Dana what she wanted. Realism shouldn't have been a factor. I know quite a few people that may not have stayed with their high school sweet hearts from high school but they made their way together again within a decade or after college. All will be forgiven if the sequel is good though.You do have a great knack for writing though, even if i don't like your ending.

I think I want to post the Dana's Side series first, which I intend to submit with shorter gaps. Then the sequels. I may also intersperse a few of the other things I've written.

Overall I was left feeling somewhat dissatisfied and disappointed by the ending. Overall the series itself was great and leading up to the end was great, but I was felt rather unfulfilled. I kind of wanted Jack and Dana to get together. I will read what ever comes next, but this ending just didn't work for me compared to the rest of the series which was much better.

This has been a great series to read all in one day ... I was hoping for Jack to seduce his sister ... perhaps at the lake ...

I will watch for the follow-on stories ... GREAT writing!!

H.

I really enjoyed following your series that was one of the best on here. Regardless of who ended up with who I found the ending kind of sub par based on how the rest of the story drug you in wanting more. in my humble opinion I would of liked more of an open ending instead of trying to wrap everything up that you had developed so quickly. It seemed like you had a maximum word count and had to rush to make it. Thank you for a great series.

and the epilogue certainly didn't change my reaction. It was a story so rich in character development that I enjoyed becoming immersed in its soap-opera relationships (that's not intended as pejorative). But you tipped your intentions in an earlier chapter and I was right - it had the same feeling I had when sitting in the theater at the end of "American Graffiti" and watched what happened to everyone. An earlier poster's adjective was, I thought, the correct one - bittersweet.

But there was no sweetness in Dana's ending, here. Learning through a dismissively backhanded phrase that Dana is a lesbian had the same effect as learning that Paul Le Mat's character, John (the gearhead), died in the Vietnam war - it was a direct kick to the groin. That little twist undermines what smidgen of realism there was in Jack's connection with Dana. It reshaped everything the story offered about them. Meh!!

Still, your writing is just so damn good, I won't be able to avert my eyes from the car crash that your sequel/prequel will likely offer. Thanks again, I guess.

for the "gushing." Makes me feel great. But Dana isn't a lesbian--she likes men, although she is willing to make the occasional exception. The only character that ends up clearly as a lesbian is Natalie, and she is happy.

Mate i loved your stories beleive me. But i think that dana and jack should of ended up together.

But I think that the ending is realistic. However, I've submitted the first of 2 sequels that should ultimately make you happy. Thanks for the feedback.

An amazingly well written story. I've never left a comment on any of the stories that I've read on this site, but felt compelled to tell you how much I enjoyed this one. As much as I wish that it had ended differently, I still understand why you decided to finish it this way. Realism is a harsh mistress. Not all endings are happy. While everything is resolved, this isn't a happy ending. The characters that you spent so much time and effort developing didn't end up with each other and I think that's a shame. Well written, and erotic as hell, but ultimately disappointing. I don't come to this site for realism. I come here for escape. Ah well, I applaud the attempt....maybe I didn't enjoy it as much as I first thought, lol.

A terrific series. I really enjoyed the growth of the characters and the ups and downs which each of them had to deal. Bravo and keep writing.

Seriously liked the story, just sat through and read the entire series. Keep up the work.

I usually don't review the comments before making my own. I could see it going either way. It was a great character piece watching Jack develop over the course of the series. If the hero always ends up with who we want, well then things become too boring and predictable. Epilogue was cool, i suspect it was almost as much for yourself as for the readers.

I can't fault any specific thing you did. Characters were well developed, and the scenes were awesome. The ending was plausible and the plot enjoyable. I'm excited to read Dana's side of things.

We readers became emotionally invested in many people in this story due to the excellent character development that allowed us to see how each were differing individuals in their own right. This is why Jack's marriage to Rebecca did not work for us. We had no empathy for her like we did the others, because she received only summary description and was never developed as "someone we knew" like the main cast of characters. Although, I still feel it should have been Gina, since I feel they were compatible before the first Lake House encounter, and the reason they were not later was due to the author making their characters evolve into something too different from what they had been. Fiona and Natalie both had certain dysfunctions, as did Jack before the Lake House training. If Jack had made either of them a project for rehabilitation -- as the 3 babes had done for Jack -- they could have turned into a suitable partner for Jack, which would have required more description to turn them into as compelling individuals as the other characters.

Jack going from shy virgin with no sex experience to virgin defloration stud who has had 5 sex partners all within a week, although necessary to the plot (see my comments on chapter 5), is more unrealistic than him marrying a high school sweetheart, which is something a Literotica reader did -- I read it in his comments.

The first two chapters were sex education. I recently read an excellent sex education story Educating Dustin Rhodes, a 3-part series by Mindventure, which has a better ending than Lake House. However, overall, Lake House may be the better story.

This is my first JayDavid story. He has excellent language and excellent storytelling skills. If this story is representative, he is one of the better Literotica writers -- one of a relatively small elite.

Paul in Oklahoma

As an earlier comment said, a somewhat bittersweet ending. The odds are certainly against a high school romance surviving into adulthood. I've seen it happen but they are indeed the exception. Still, I am a sucker for romances where they've known each other since childhood or high school. While I think it is not impossible for Dana and Jack to have ended up together, it is your story. And overall, I do not think it is a bad epilogue. It's good to see life turn out well for everyone.

Jack was extraordinarily lucky to have people like his sister and her friends care about him enough to give him such a good send off from high school. I left for a war and the most I got was a hug and "good luck".

A great story! I liked the characters and the pace of the story. I know it was written years ago, but quality is always in style. Thanks for your time and imagination.

i really enjoyed this series. It was erotically fantastical, with just enough conflict to remind us that even fictional characters need to find some bumps in the road. 😎

A well told and well written story with great character development.

Unfortunately it all hinges on a college age older sister convincing her three incredibly beautiful but also remarkably unattached friends to have sex with her virgin younger brother who she caught masturbating to said friends.

And the younger brother turning out to be a remarkable "natural" in the bedroom from his very first encounter.

For me, this took a potential 5 star story and made it into a 3.

I was pleasantly surprised by the ending. I expected more of a last hurrah, than the life goes on happy ending. Well done.

Bravo! Very good story and well written.