All Comments on 'The Landlords and Anna'

To long to get to the good part(which never was).You go on and on about nonsense

Glad I stopped rading earlyon.

I see we have a bunch of crap stories today. Only one worth reading and it is a short story.

There is no hint of the protagonist's gender until he thinks Nell looks good, and is only confirmed about a paragraph later...during the beginning of the show, we finally learn our hero is Jack.

It is obvious this is a Part One of several, otherwise his academic details are a waste, especially including the sexual tension potential with his future major professor. Please label it that way, if that is what it is.

I thought it was a nicely-done start to a series! Sorry about the trolls! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, pity some believe their calling is to be ungracious.

What did you do to piss off the anonymous asshole? You've written a better than average story; one I'd like to see you continue.

I enjoyed the story and the characterisation. It's fine for the reader to have to wait for some things. Anon's comment is more a comment on his own negativity and inability to make a useful point.

I look forward to reading the developing story. I do hope we'll see more.

Nice story liked it a lot!

Don't let the anonymous comments on your story get to you!

Would love to read some more of this story. (the same goes for the women in blue story)

Keep the good work up and thanks for your work!

Xt I loved it. When are you going to do next chapter.

I am working my way through all your postings. I like how you have continued to develop your characters environment and flesh out the details of their personalities. Sorry, I'm a punny guy. I think you do an excellent job crafting the sex seamlessly into the overall storyline. I hope you will be inspired to continue and build on this story as a series.

And as for the annoyingmousies who continuously whine and moan about stories in the LW genre. I notice they keep returning to them like dogs returning to lick at their vomit.

Good story,but it needs to be finished.

Please write more..

On the first page, you wrote,

I smiled too. "So it's like XXX-rated improv?" She smiled even wider, "Exactly! No script, no plan, and no inhibitions. Just get caught up and go with it. Right after dinner!"

When I read this paragraph, just like every time I read a paragraph like this, I read "So it's...", blew through "She smiled..." as a phrase and not four words, and a comma.

When I hit "Exactly! ...", I froze up at the second 'No', and began jumping backward two or three words at a time, to get back into sync with the dialogue.

There's a reason there is a 'New Paragraph At Every Dialogue Shift', rule, and this is paragraph is exactly the reason.

When a reader gets into the rhythm of a two person dialogue; the back and forth of the dialogue, visually portrayed in the text, and a paragraph with dialogue of two characters' statements, the reader gets into the second character's words before they realize it is not the same character speaking.

In spite of the "She smiled..." between the two statements, (the reader blasts through that quickly, wanting to get to the exciting dialogue, 'dialogue is typically more exciting that 'she said', 'he said', or even a daring, 'she replied'!), a reader typically will miss the dialogue assignment phrase, and get confused by the dialogue.

Hope this helps someone who is a writer aspiring to become an author.

...worthy of Literotica.

The commenter just before me has done a very good job of explaining why, within continuing dialog, another speaker requires another paragraph.

Paul in Oklahoma

While not particularly a fan of stories that go on forever, I would have liked this to continue. 5*

Usual piece of shit.

Story had promise. Sorry you abandoned it.