All Comments on 'The Last Death of Ron and Melanie'

This was a very interesting read. The interaction was realistic, detailed and entertaining. Thank you author.

I hated this at the same time I love it. I have seen this too many times in my career. You write so vividly about it I almost feel sorry for you. Post part em depression and the loss of children can ruin any marriage. The woman in all cases I have been involved in shuts down emotionally. It is a survival instinct. When your mind can not handle the physical and mental inputs of life, you shutdown to stay sane. Your partner picks up on this and in an attempt to make sense of the loss of a child and then the virtual loss of their spouse they shutdown as well. The marriage spirals as they grow further and further apart. Unless they get help the marriage is doomed. And it is no ones fault and that makes it harder to fix. So I hate this story for the memories it generates. While I love this story for the exact same thing. If you as the author have personally lived through this you have my sympathy and if you actually survived it I feel happy for you. Great stories invoke great emotional response, this one did for me. Thank you.

Their obvious love for one another, their shared angst was brought out wonderfully. But I didn't see the coming together, the realization that the spark and their devotion was still there.

A wonderful story, bringing out the uncertainly which was/had morphed into hatred between the two lovers.

Luckily I did not have to go through this and we are now working on the grandchildren!

YOu did a great job of forcing me to participate in the couples feeling and that is exactly the sign of a good writer.

Good writing! Keep up the good work!

very much. Thank you! I note that you seem to have only one other story posted. Are you really a "beginner" at this ?? I am definitely looking forward to more of your work!

Most of us know couples that have had miscarriages and the difficulty it brings to lives that are already heavy with the burdens of everyday life. Communication by words is always tough at the best of times, but in this circumstance, the author shows that the positive emotions of shared times can bring the words of healing. This is so well done that the reader can just imagine the couple's life playing out this way. I'd also like to thank Tearsofsorrow2 for his insightful comments on this and other stories. They make the stories that much more meaningful. Phil

I can't think of any other way to describe my feelings about this story. Even before the meeting with Ron, I was hoping for some sort of happy ending, but I didn't know what it could be. When I saw that Ron was possibly of the same mind, my hopes rose. I see two people in love who have forgotten how to give each other the little things that keep that love alive. She is obviously the primary "culprit", but he is not blameless. If he had approached her as he does today, maybe the crisis would have been forestalled until she got some of the help she so desperately needed. Anyway, your ending was quite believable, as I saw that neither really wanted the separation. The bitterness and estrangement that they felt needed the time apart to make them see things in the proper perspective. I know it's just a story, but I can't help wishing tham well. I think they'll make it. Paol

Maybe the "perverbial" (your word) sequel could finish closing this chapter, but it would be even harder to write, and this was so well done.

VERY,VERY GOOD. Well done writer. I am unfortunate enough to have gone through helping my wife through a miscarriage. it was painful for both of us. But I swamped my wife with love and affection. The doctors told us no love making for six months. You know what? I didn't care! My only purpose in life at that time was to nurse my wife through. Fourteen years later we are as strong as ever. carry on writing. I am glad I read this story.

A very plausible tale of the marital fragility many couples muddle their way through without really talking - or hearing themselves.<P>

Author - you are appreciated as this was a serious step up from what otherwise is here.<P>

With High Regard

Watch for future works by this author coming to the nearest book store next to you...<P>

Speaking of talent, I always wonder why when the very few who are clearly blessed with remarkable talent demonstrate it in those few and far between stories - you don't hear a tweet from the usual suspects? <P>

I am sure that it won't come as an earth shaking surprise to any one that I too found the style and richness of language to be most satisfying and way above the norm in Lit. Moreover, and even more significant -in my opinion, are the subtle and detailed observations in which the author proves her sensitivity. <P>

At the risk of sounding clichéd, almost all that this author needs now is keeping at it and living life to the fullest... <P>

Yes, I did say almost. At times, it feels as if the author is overdoing it with that detailed brush. It may be a gender bias but it seems to me that when people are stressed or are very excited (as the characters in the story seem to be most of the time) they may not make detailed mental notes regarding the brand names of the clothing they or their partners are wearing... Similarly, once in a while I stopped and asked how this detail helps the plot or the characterization of the character. Still, overall - I wish all I had to contend with whenever I read a story in Lit. would only be quibbles of this nature...

Miserable is how I feel as I look at my feeble attempts at writing when I see a story written with pure genius. Hopefully we'll see a lot more from you in the near future. I am eager to see whtever you write in ANY category. You really drew me in and gave me goosebumps at every turn in the story. GREAT JOB, Keep it up!

ur story listing under 'lit. new' doesn't show a red 'h', but all ur comments rate the story '100'. what gives? rc

ur story listing under 'lit. new' doesn't show a red 'h', but all ur comments rate the story '100'. what gives? rc

What can I say that hasn't been said already but readers with more skill than mine. Thanks for the great story that brought tears to my eyes.

I was held by the dialog running in her head and the need in both of them. This was so well written it deserves more than the 100. Thanks

Thank you so much for this story and please keep it up. good luck.

I was one of those that the marriage did not survive the loss of our child right after birth, nor the same sequel the next year. It took a few years but the loss ended up changing us until I became work driven and she became a cheater... Oh well, how real this story was. I am so glad you gave it a happy ending... Thank you.

As a writer I strive to take the reader to another place. This story succeeds in doing just that. I liked it a lot.

This is one of the finest stories here. Wow, you have the gift! Even though you have not posted for a while, I hope that you are still writing. -ttom

Great story.

The whole story was well thought out and very well written. Best of all is the good ending. Thanks

...and a really compelling read.

Very well done author. It's a privilege to have read this gripping little story.

I wish you would show us more of your pretty unique talent.

Don't know why it's hard to read a British story. Maybe because of the extreme difficulty LW writers have with expressing emotions for their characters. In this case, the resolution was way too simple for the previously stated feelings to be mended. A question: where do LW writers learn that they need to insert picayune details such as a "Parker" pen when describing an action? She supposedly learned so much about herself, but still calls him a prick. Where did she learn that that was still okay? Some basic inconsistencies that could be reworked to make the story stick together better.

How many other men have or are experiencing that scenario?? Am I? Sorry that's private

this was how you handle life, divorce before you cheat, then stay together and bring the lust and love back

THIS NEEDS AN EPILOG OR SEQUEL. TK U MLJ LV NV

Many guys can relate to this story, especially the part where she magically becomes capable of reconciliation only after her business goes south. He better hope against hope that she never becomes professionally successful again; and doesn't it suck that guys have to live like that?

make horrible partners for insecure men. My wife is a professional and luckily I have what it takes to keep up. If you are a wimp don't fall for a professional woman, don't try to ride a CBR1000RR if the most you can handle is a scooter.

they are great partners if you are there from the begining.

But what do I know, I'm happily married to a professional woman.

Great potential. Thanks for the offering.

Wow! I got so deep inside this one that as I read the last sentence I said out loud, "Well I hope it works out for them." I was totally drawn into the moment. A new favourite story for me. Thank you.

Back in the '70's when my wife and I married, I worked with an old hippie. He was a sad guy, very quiet and not very old. Probably in his early 30's. We invited him to our wedding but he couldn't make it and told me he couldn't even afford a wedding present. I let him know, his presence was much more important than his presents. He thought about it for a while and told me he would give us the finest present that no amount of money could buy if I would sit down and listen.

"Here is your present," he said. "I'm divorced now because my wife and I stopped talking. One of us would get angry and not a word would be spoken for weeks. A marriage can't live that way. You HAVE to talk. That is my present to you. To tell you to talk. No matter what, no matter when, if you two are together, talk. Always communicate and your marriage will be fine."

I told my wife about it and my hippie friend soon disappeared, I found out years later that his mother had become ill and he moved to take care of her until she died.

Did my wife and I talk? YES! And nearly 40 years later we still talk. We talk about everything, from the time we wake up in the morning until one of us is asleep. When we travel, we seldom have the radio on, instead, we talk. We rarely turn on the television until 8pm because she is home last at 5:00 and we talk through cooking dinner together, talk through eating, then talk as we clean up and prepare for the evening. After the TV is turned off, we talk until one of us goes to bed.

I can't emphasize this enough. If you are in a committed relationship, TALK. Even if you are angry, talk. I admit, when I'm angry I become very quiet because I sometimes say things in anger that I shouldn't. But as soon as the white hot anger is gone, I start talking again. Please, please, please, talk to your spouse.

This woman had more problems than her anxiety disorder. It didn't read like she had always been such a prude. A bit of a math error (twice) - he was mid-30s and had recently attended his 20th college reunion.

I had to look up callipygian. A five (not for the word but the story).

I found Ron quite selfish he was complaining about a lack of passion but what can you expect from a woman who has suffered a miscarriage and found out that she can't have a family

I don't get the low rating on this story. The characters are fleshed out and it is really written with an eye for drama. No sex? So what. I don't understand people shooting stories like these down. The writer deserves a lot of praise here and encouragement.

SneakyDeaner...you deserve more credit for your writing skills than the present rating of this story. Keep up the great work!

Read JN9103_IM, oh a miscarriage only effects women(personally i find it funny a uptight modern women cant bare children, you can abort but cant conceive, they wait till the last biological moment and nature says no be barren). The idea is so fucking female that men dont feel the death of children, like men do not weep when the wife is fighting cancer, or their child is aborted or dies in the womb.

You werent their....all men are in today's world is there...do women talk nope, they yell bitch or talk to the girls.

In the middle of a world of shit women demand men SIT AND WAIT for love, Fuck you..and your Barren womb, find someone else.

Fact men aint marrying white modern business women...they are loving as a wet shit.

well written think he should have left her and mocked her being a barren frigged bitch every year on the day of the miscarriage.

It wasn't saying "Prick," but right around there I was hoping it would end. This needs a good editor to chop it down a bit, like a wild grape vine. It's tedious. Apparently I'm the only one that bothered to say.

I'm not used to having to try to piece together what's going on from meandering conversation. I think the dialogue with unrelated narrative in the same paragraph made that even more difficult. If the first person, or the lead can't put together coherent thoughts, let them say a few words then let the narrator help them.

I don't understand why they reconciled. In this case, at least one party needs education on coping mechanisms to help them communicate better and I wasn't able to determine it was happening...it takes more than realizing what's wrong. Therefore, I disagree with the story and them getting back together. All I know for sure is she has anxiety and thought he had an affair and she was emotionally unavailable for 5 years. That's a hell of a long time. She proved again that night the reason they weren't together, then got back together. Bullshit. She was cured because he brought out the papers? I think that's what the author wants us to believe. Bullshit.

If she is 42 not 32 your numbers do not add up.

A couple of years in her own business after 15 years with company has her starting work at 15.

I hope they can make it work.

Perfect in length and tone. I only wish you added another paragraph or two as to how she recovered and he stood by her as he always had.

Good premise, but too abrupt an ending produced a hollow feeling.

I like this story enough details given

I take the door and

Don't always care for stories which let me choose ending

Here you told us of two individuals who needed to face same hurt but couldn't find common ground

He then went one way she another can they find their way back realistically I don't believe so But story and love conquers all so hell yes

Love, no betrayal and redemption. I so very much want these people to comfort one another and spend the rest of their lives together raising adopted children in love for them and one another. One of the best, most promising and all around beautiful stories I've read on this site. Thanks sneakydeaner.

Great story, lots of feelings and emotion. Unlike others I loved the ending, it allowed me free rein to believe that they lived happily ever after. 10 stars if only

Very good emotion prompting writing.

Yes, he tore up the papers but something was missing. You're a good writer, I hope you realize what was missing!

Strange people.

That was a hella good story. The writing was little short of spectacular. Randi.

A sad story with a somewhat Happy ending ... Love it

This is very well written and very erotic. 5 stars and added to my favourites.

Two people in love can survive anything. Good story.

Painful, but it rang true.

Good story. Excellent use of the word callipygian. If I hadn't already seen it in another story I would've had to look it up. But then again you foreshadowed the meaning several times...KUDOS. I really felt Melanie's angst. I know a women with PTSD due to the fact that her husband left her for a man and then hung himself in his new apartment.

Panic attacks due to stress ensued. I spent many days helping her clean out his stuff and lend her a shoulder to cry on. In the end she found a friend of mine and fell in love. AWTEW.

Loved this story. Well written, full of emotion and heart. My wife and I have been together for fifty years and much of what is written here has happened to us. True love never dies! The raw emotion had me in tears, tears of happiness for them. I know it’s fiction but the author has captured the feeling of two souls searching for a way forward through the morass of life. We live as dream, alone. That’s why we seek others for love and companionship. We are driven by that very basic need.

Thanks, five stars is not enough.

Finally a story of real people who can learn and love. Kudos!

Could have used a nice sex scene at the end. His reactions to her lingerie and how he ravished her.

A story that seemed real. I love the way you write. Thank you for sharing 5 stars from Xluckylee

Soooo, he's going to get back together with her and she's still a psychotic bitch?