All Comments on 'The Legend of Madame Tay'

Read your story, and I thought I'd give you some feedback. I like the overall shape of the story, but there are enough details that kept me from fully enjoying it.

I like the scenario, and I *love* the twist, which I didn't see coming at all.

The only part I didn't enjoy, story wise, is where the narrator is panicking about the knives. I got the hint when they started sharpening their knives, and spelling it out at length really didn't work for me. The related pun in the final paragraph fell flat for me as well.

Your language is clear and easy to follow. It could use some polish, but then again, isn't that always the case. There are a couple of plot details that don't fully make sense.

I think my main problem is the orientalism, which is really cranked up to eleven here. I get that the "interracial" aspect is part of the fantasy, and I actually read it *because* it featured an asian woman and a (presumably) caucasian guy... but yeesh. I had to laugh/cringe every second paragraph or so at the ridiculous clichés, and it kind of kept the erotic tension from building.

Sorry for the kind-of-negative critique; hope you find some of my thoughts useful anyway. Hylas

Yeah, I have to agree that the stereotypes about Asian people and culture kind of took away from my enjoyment of the story. It made me wince, thinking about some of my friends coming across the story and wondering if they'd feel laughed at.

On the other hand, it made total sense that he'd make a mistake like that, and the orgasm delay was good. Just maybe with less cliches about Chinese people next time?