All Comments on 'The Link Pt. 02: The Hunted'

Yessss this was goregous. Stayed up til 3 am reading.

Can't wait for the next installment.

Awesome. Could not stop reading

It's scary.....thanks.

With tears !

Ditto! More, more, more..........

I couldn't stop reading. When is the next series? I read it the moment it was uploaded. You need to be a novelist. I would quickly buy all of your works! Thank you for sucking me into your worlds. I wait on the edge of my seat for what comes next.

you are sooooo fcked

i hope you realise you will be inundated with feedback & requests for a timeframe on when that next part of this story will be available .. ohhh yeah and comments telling you how much this part was enjoyed

5 stars .. thankyou for sharing it with us

Best author on Lit. Hit it out of the park good sir. Can NOT wait for the next installment.

5 stars.

Yep its what I said.

I enjoyed this episode and anxiously await the next. I am not sure that only one more will be enough. I believe you have developed enough possibilities to have several more episodes. Thanks

You have a truly unique gift, the ability to write great stories in many different categories. It doesn't matter if it's science fiction, historical, or modern day, the story is always great. While I want you to continue to post stories here, your talent really needs to be shared with a greater audience.

Now we have to wait to see how this fantastic novel plays out! Oh well, it will be worth it, I bet

Calgary Campers

Wow! Did not expect a second installment on "The Link", but you got me hooked! Looking forward to the next installment!!! Great writing!!!

straight through parts 01 and 02 took longer than anticipated.

oh well, here's hoping 03 arrives soon

Thank you for doing this story.

I kind of dread the arrival of part three.

When it is read, it is over..

"It" is my joy of reading a masterfully assembled story like this..

..the feelings I experience on behalf of the characters you paint in the most vivid colours. Well, the whole experience of being gripped by the throat by your work, and not be released from it until the very last punctuation is read.

I look forward to your next installment, though..

Please be quick about it. I'm addicted.

1. amazing writing

2. been too long since last posting

3. split them (the chapters)? too about three evenings to read

If literotica rated on a 10 point scale. I would give this story a 10, or 15 on a 15 scale. It needs to be fully fleshed out into a book. Put on Amazon or such. You should be proud.

Simply amazing concept. I love your writing and the way your mind works. This has got to be the best collection of stories on this site.

It would have been 5 stars if only for the typos and the name change from Jack to Jerry!! Usually when this happens I stop reading, but I thought this is DC & he's given us his story for free all 18 pages, so yeah I carried on reading right till the end and I thank you for your wonderful talent.

DeandraDee

Fantastic but not as great as 1st chapter. But still 5*.

Damn its like movie sequels you give the best goods in 1st installment people expect too much for the next part anyways loved this chapter also.

Waited too long for 2nd chapter. Very nice build up and loved the twist of Corbett returning thats sick man hehehe.

Eagerly waiting for 3rd chapter.I hope you don't make us wait too long like 2nd chapter please complete 3rd chapter and post soon.

Pcthrone

While I realize resorting to meme's isn't always the best way of conveying emotion on the internet, I still think this one fits perfectly.

*memeface*

"fk yea"

Definitely worthy of buying as a.book. Please consider posting about 4 or 5 chapters at a time instead 18 or so. So that we can get our fix faster.

Too long for this category, and it's pt 2. Is there a part three? Just not that good.

The editing was two star stuff. When the character's name changes, that's just sloppy. Many wrong and missing words. The writing was not as good as the first part but still very good. Just sub par for you. Still gave you a four.

Listening to music, & whatnot...

And I came across an English cover done for an opening theme to one particular anime I enjoyed very much.

And I realized that, somehow, it fit The Link almost beautifully. I've got no idea how this happened, because the show wasn't even remotely about something like this, but, well...

The internet works in mysterious ways, I guess?

Either way, here's the link to the page if you want to hear it:

http://tyerecords.love-blossom.net/aldnoah-zero-2-op/

as usual. but, is it Jerry or Jack? I like the long chapters, but a shorter wait time would be great...... thx for sharing.

Yes I am one of your readers that anxiously awaited the continuation of the story and I see that I have not been disappointed! I guess I wasn't expecting a part 3! lol Keep writing and I promise to keep reading!

You are going to give me a heart attack if I have to wait very long for the" Link 3".

Great characters and story line. Thank you for your story. And to those few nit picker critics, get over yourselves. This is an adventure story with ESP elements - not an article for some literary magazine.

5 stars. Eagerly awaiting ch 3. I wish this story came to a clean ending like ch 1, though!

You are my favorite author! Always fresh and wonderful reads, with unexpected plot twists! Please keep on sharing with us!

I just finished my 2nd read of part 1 and 1st read of part 2. This is an AWESOME story. Great characters, great plot, twists, turns and surprises. I love your style(s).😀

Thx

R

When you finish chapter 3 you should wrap them up into a book. BUT not before you let us read it. Again awesome story, I'm a big sci-fi fan and this is "dam good", waiting for more! Do not know how much the rest of the "team" contributed but they deserve some attaboys also

The title of my comment describes the my reading of this adventurous tale that is woven so well. Waiting impatiently for the next installment.

I'm sad for Sam, his bond with stinky is no longer unik.

No better author on this site.

Like other comments made here, I thoroughly enjoy all of your stories, great style, content and an ability to suck the reader in. My only complaint is you don't write quick enough, I have now read all your stories some more than once and need more to feed my thirst!!

...but your work has it for sure. Plot, characters, pacing and the rest of the list. Like most I await the next installment, but don't let your fans drive the car! Take the time it needs and deserves, we and you will be better served :)

Please post Part 3 ASAP! This is one great story.

There are a couple of authors that I have followed that have gone on to publish their work for profit and I have respected them enough to purchase their works. Your work, in my opinion is as good if not better than theirs. Should you follow in their footsteps you already have one loyal fan...

Splendid!

Incredible original story with everything...cannot wait for the next chapter! Please keep on doing what you do so well!

Just read both and they are fantastic. I love the long length closer to book format and hope you don't switch to chapters like some of the suggestions.

I have been reading this excellent story almost in one shot. The way everything is described is moving me, it's poetic

Very much looking forward to Pt.3.

This is professional quality writing.

The story is compelling, characters are well defined, and dialog is realistic. I am fully invested in these characters and eagerly await the next installment.

If it were printed in hardcover format currently the story would be almost 500 pages. With the next section this will be a legitimate novel. A novel that I would pay money for.

Please hurry up and publish part 3 I am totally hooked and haven't enjoyed a story quite as much as this in a very long time. Thank you for publishing. Enough of my ramblings, they only serve to take up time you could be using to finish part 3. Thanks.

eagerly awaiting part 3, working through all your stories but can't move on till "The Link" concludes. I agree with those that say it should be a book.

I would happily pay for the privilege of reading this. Thank you for the gift of your writing. And your editor. :)

This story has me hooked. I could read the continuing saga of stinky for years. Thanks to the author.

DreamCloud, like many other readers here, I am hooked by this story. Being a huge sci-fi fan, the telepathy and mind control is just what pushes my buttons. Other than a few typos here and there, this story is perfect! I cannot fault your skill of characterisation and plot line other than perhaps lack of facial descriptions of the main players. Teegan and Caleb's interaction is well handled, and believable. Keep up the good work, and don't be pressured into releasing Part 3 until YOU are ready! 5 stars!

There are several members (DanielQSteele1, RichardGerald,etc) who are great writers but not always great story tellers. You sir are a great story teller. What's th difference? I'll set up till 2am to read the work of a great story teller. I'll read a great writer tomorrow. DreamCloud is the best story teller on this site bar none!

Man2Lazy

Great stuff. Best writer on the site!

Through the two stories, great character development. I loved how Tom came back in the picture. Looking for the third installment.

Both parts are very well written, with maybe an occasional error. keep up the good work, because this is a story that shouldn't stop anytime soon.

Brilliant.

Loved the depiction of teenage uncertainties and angst.

If you're not a pro writer, you should be.

Funny, I like your drivel as well. I've really enjoyed your work, and am looking forward to seeing more.

Bravo ! Let's have the next part please . Waiting.....

The first draft was completed last night. I've had an editor following behind on each of the 40 chapters. I'm hoping to complete the editing in a couple of weeks. Thank you for all your kind comments.

Can't wait till it's done. - I have so many other things I want to write.

With this one, the story line was great but it was a bit sloppy with errors as pointed out by other readers, still I gave you 4 stars

Fabulous story!

I will wait impatiently for the next part. 😆

At the beginning of this chapter, I believe is not at the same level of the first chapter, but meanwhile I advance in the story, I see I was wrong. Maybe, this chapter is based at the point of view of the teenagers, and I`m so old to remember when I was a teenager. Teegan`s and Caleb are most adult and responsible than I can see in the first pages of this story.

Is for this that you are my favorite author!

You even surprised me!

5* for you!

I can`t wait for the next chapter!

I hope you maintains the family together, for me, the family is the primordial link in the life.

Absolutely great job!

Seriously, this story needs to be published in book form, more for other's sake than yours lol. Again, I know I would buy it. I'd hope you would have it looked over by a professional editor, though, to give it the polishing it deserves. Personally, I would love more and 'more accurate' description of faces/looks, voice tone (more adjectives!), and environments for example, to give it even more depth - the grammatical stuff aside.

I like how you pulled off the teenage drama, with the right amount of focus on the different characters - and I enjoyed the feelings it evoked in me. Although I'd love to read even more, I am looking forward to the closing pt. 3. At some point, a story simply better ends.

- R

Best I Have Read on this site so far...waiting for part 3. I agree, this should be a book. It would be a best seller.

This was an amazing read. I could identify with the characters and their emotions easily which made the story highly entertaining.

Who flip a switch in me that refuses to put the book down. There aren't many of them and you've joined the club. I always lose sleep when this happens... can't stop reading.

abounds.

time for part 3

Just fascinating. That says it all.

This is bloody brilliant stuff!

I fucking love it!

I started to read Part 3 but found I was a little lost. It had been about six months since I read Part 2, so I decided to skim through it again. Your writing was so compelling that I found myself reading Part 2 all over again, straight through, and it was just as great the second time. If that's not the true mark of a great writer I don't know what is. This story line is better than 90% of the movies I've seen. Thank you for the entertainment

... another awesome part to this story. Thank you, 5 stars again.

I must admit though that i preferred the first installment. Purely because of the relationship between Sam and that wonderful smiling, limb flapping, diaper filling bundle of joy.

You did portray the teen angst story well though and i am intrigued as to the content of the 3rd installment i'm about to start.

10 stars. A great read

A truly excellent story

I liked the first story a lot and I really wanted to like this one but damn it pissed me off. How can stinky be so fucking dense and oblivious when everyone keeps telling her the boy likes her, not to mention the pointless friendzone when she was bitching about not being wanted by anyone. I mean fuck me man but that's some of the worst route you could have taken with her personality god damn I couldn't finish this part I got pissed off too much.

Stupid/10

I'm going to be depressed when there is no more of this story.

It's a special treat to find a story that demands your attention until it's finished - an even rarer occurrence when it is here. This story is incredibly powerful in the romantic love it describes, the intense suspense of the action areas, and the descriptors of the action. Once again, I feel as if I am reading a movie script rather than a story, as it feels so "cinematic" in scope.

Praises aside, I did have some issues with the two protagonists of this part (Sam of the last part was growing and it flowed beautifully). Teegan was... I'm not sure exactly how to describe what I felt about her... She was so full of angst, doubt, and insecurity that it was actually off-putting. I can understand, and it does seem to confirm just how powerful the link is, but I couldn't help but think that she was a weak character. Caleb, on the other hand, had the right amount of insecurity coupled with a personality that experienced wonderful growth outside of the link (he handled being friend-zoned like a boss).

I am still incredibly excited to read the next section, but I don't want the series to end - a true testament to the quality of your writing.

My second read. It's been just long enough that I can't remember the fine details. Loved it the first time, love it again this time.

Even though this is good, didn't reach my expectations as the first part was awesome

There were too many emotional scenes & less action. And u turned Natalie, who was badass in the first story too a over protective parent

Not saying it was bad but could have been better

There have been dozens of stories and movies about an alien or mutant that has a superhuman ability and gets chased by police, military, religious fanatics, foreign governments. (ET, Starman et. al). Making your 'freak' a baby was clever. Despite some spelling/grammar mistakes, your writing is good and believable. You sometimes make a good point but then overdo it (the stinky diapers, Teegan being obstinate about being only friends with Caleb). The violent component also bothers me. I realize most readers like action but couldn't Teegan's power be used to simply diffuse threats with love and compassion? Her being a catalyst for others going Rambo dilutes and pollutes her ability. All in all, an entertaining and fascinating read.

I really LOVED the first part but this one is a total miss for me.

The two things that made me love Pt.01 was that it was mostly from Sam's POV and Sam's relationship/connection with Teegan. So not only was the POV shift in this a little upsetting but it was also SUPER awkward for me reading about her having sex. Almost like a father finding and reading his daughter's diary.

No doubt the excellent DC standard in writing is here but my previously mentioned issues were too much for me to get over to enjoy this, and sadly has left me with little urge to want to read Pt.03.

You are a great writer

I mean it

You're a natural writer

Your prose flows effortlessly

Beautiful stories that are well written with excellent characters and really interesting good plots

Thank you for giving me joy

Don't worry about all these idiots complaining about this or that minutiae

They are just nerds who feel they must - mostly because they are virgins and they think they know what's what

They don't

Not consciously anyway

So please accept my gratitude and be well and please keep writing

- I am the one

sucked in chewed up and spit out, what an amazing roller coaster ,while there was a couple of errors in chapter 3 where you got rose mixed up with a ruth that isn't in the story in several places during the chapter, most every thing else was great…. I guess i should look into your bio and see if you plan to put all of these stories into a Book …If you have already, I'd buy it in a heart beet….. R.W.

it fell short of favorite story (unlike some of your other stories, which are mainstays of my favorite list). You are a masterful storyteller, as I'm sure you know, and an excellent writer, but (you knew there had to be a but)... I understand the frustration of champing at the bit for your creations to be baptized and confirmed by readers, but this installment needed one more copyedit/proofreading pass. Of course minor errors such as misplaced homonyms, misspellings that obviously are just typos, and the like, don't detract from the story line, but they do judder the willing suspension of disbelief a bit. And I'm probably one of the few—if not the only—Literotica reader who was dismayed that you had to go all Dan Brown on us and make the ultimate villains psychopathic Christian zealots (although happily your writing skill exceeds Brown's by several orders of magnitude). Keep on keeping on, DreamCloud, and I'll keep reading.

even tho i don't usually care much for sci-fi i have found this story a "very damned good read" from the first word all the way to this point. And am looking forward to reading the conclusion.

hornyoldgoat 6969

GREAT STORY. At one point, Caleb's dad morphed from Jack to Jerry. Other than that I saw no real errors. Grest story! I eish you would publish it. You have astounding talent.

I love the story and am adding it to faves.

The error is that if Corbett died not knowing whether his video would be played before or after Teegan reached majority, why would he say in the video that he has known where she was for the last 15 years?

A minor, but easily corrected error.

What a great story! And thanks for not taking Caleb out, which was my worst fear. Please write more...

And aren't we enjoying the ride. Truly compelling story, wonderfully conceived and written.

Next.

Mr. DreamCloud, you are a very good writer.

I must admit. I am slightly disappointed.

Don't get me wrong, it is probably the best Story I've come across here on Lit.

I just thought it could've/should've gone into a slightly other direction.

After the first part, I thought "The hunted" hinted for the family still and constantly being on the run with a few years of a break (hunted by Anthony & Bosses) in between.

The Struggle, the military, a little more about the bond between the brother and sister (since she loved/sensed him from very young).

Especially the growing up part of Teegan, how she react to stuff, handles things, etc.

Then I felt like this 2nd part would've fit in perfectly afterward.

Understand for me it just felt weird at some point, I ended reading part 1, Teegan being under 1 year old, and then she goes on a "date" and is all mature, Teenager and has now a Boyfriend and Sex. (Now she's pregnant?) I felt really weird and uncomfortable with that. One Moment this other that.

Apart from all that.

EXCELLENT Story

Now that I’ve read two of the three sections, I thought I should comment. I’ve always been daunted by the length of this, but it goes very fast.

It’s an unusually interesting and hopeful option you’ve created, Sir, about playing with genes. But I see that mankind will be burdened with the worst of us, no matter what future we try to offer ourselves.

I love this story! Amazing writing.

This saga is brilliant!

Onwards to part three!

Dear author, I have never read anything as beautiful as this saga. I can honestly say that I was moved to tears on numerous occasions. I would like to pay you for the enjoyment your work has given me.

If this were a bound and printed book, I would want a leather bound copy so it could be read over and over and grace my bookcase for the rest of my life. Amazing, thank you for sharing this moving, spellbinding story with us!!

Have so much enjoyed this story line.

Wow. Just wow. What an incredible storyteller you are. Thank you.

Damn! Great ongoing story, wicked cool action, really good interactions between characters, fantastic series. Thank you for this, it rocks hard.

"My definition of perfect has nothing to do with imperfections. You smiling at me wipes away everything wrong with the world. All I see is what I feel. All I see is you." DreamCloud, 2016

Iiked how you took the story. Was not really sure if I was going to like the sequel. Many do not do justice. Yours was well written. Cheers.