The Literotica Xmas Bash

Erica's articleHow I Came To Love The Stars and Stripes, the best thing in the supplement, won a national travel journalism award for junior reporters. Not bad for a girls who'd barely left town in her short life. She's chief tourism reporter now. On the Stourbridge Gazette.

I was offered Julian's job, but settled for a pay rise and the title of chief business reporter. I've a whole boxful of nameplates somewhere under the mass of press releases on my desk. I still see Angela now and then. She works for Cecilia and stays over once in a while. Annette was in Bridlington for another two weeks and we fucked every night. She didn't want a relationship until she'd worked through the rubble of her marriage though. At least one of us is sensible. We've a weekend at Sunnymede planned for when the weather gets warmer - probably 2022 knowing my luck - to see if there's anything there.

I made at least twenty grand; the two hundred-plus photographs I sold to the agency still net me a monthly royalty cheque. Eric spent his cut on a caravan by the beach and a pair of binoculars. He says he's taking up bird watching. I was disqualified from the competition by the editors' committee. They claimed Cynthia was only twenty eight. I framed their letter and gave it to her as a Xmas present. It's hanging on her office wall.

Kevin was sacked too. When the owners of the complex landed their helicopter on the campsite for an investigation of the surprise bonanza that Literotica had given their balance sheet, he still could not be found. He was eventually discovered shackled to a bed with pink fluffy handcuffs. There was a woman asleep beside him. It was the pensioner Annette had served a few days earlier. He's manager of an old folks home now and reportedly much happier for it. At least, according to Cynthia, new general manager of the Sunnydene Holiday Park (and Spa). Her first executive decision was to leave the brackets in.

I still get the occasional letter from Paul inviting me to vintage car rallies in the West Midlands. They usually have violent threats at the bottom, written by Vanessa, in what looks suspiciously like blood. And the tiniest of paw prints next to them.

And what of Bridlington? That shining jewel of the East Yorkshire coast. Well she's just the same, but different somehow. You'll still hear the odd American accent if you walk around town. Love For Sale took over one of the empty shops as their first retail outlet. A couple of local girls have started their own fetish boutique. They specialise in erotic thermals, a niche but growing market, I'm told.

We residents have begun to turn our cynical and jaded eyes a little more towards the outside world. That's a good thing for us, it's too soon to tell what the world will make of the new relationship. You'll have noticed the town cropping up quite a bit in Literotica submissions. I think the underlying risk of hypothermia adds a certain spice to the classic beach-encounter stories. I'm sure you agree.

We made the national news one more time because of Literotica. The Home Secretary announced in parliament that she was barring press and public from a certain police disciplinary hearingfor reasons of national security. Five constables and a sergeant were charged with a series of offences agains the police code and were almost certain to be dismissed. There was a lot of local interest. According to Clyde, well Eric after he'd gone out for a few pints with Clyde actually, after the defence submitted three hundred still photographs, three short video clips and a rather muffled recording taken from one of the officer's phones, the panel decided to suspend the hearing and award the cops medals for outstanding community relations work. All on condition that no one else got to see the evidence.

The chief constable is in the running to become head of the met, Britain's most senior police officer. The Paradise Papers exposed how he'd used off-shore accounts to funnel the money from the FundMe appeal into the company that bought his wife's new sports car. The Tories decided that was just the sort of can-do, business approach that their modern police service needed.

If you're in the neighbourhood why not pop in and see us. Wrap up warm and bring a flask. Ask at the tourist information office for a copy ofTouch_Type's Literotica Walking Tour. You'll have fun explaining to the staff what it is. And they'll enjoy trying to find it for you.

See you all at next year's party.

T_T xx