All Comments on 'The Lost Martian Ch. 01'

Interesting concept, and I'll be watching to see where it goes.

However, *please* use a grammar checker (not a spellchecker) before posting as there are all sorts of mistakes which interrupt the flow of the story you're trying to weave.

I know some people will say that grammar "doesn't matter", but they're wrong. It's all about making the story readable, and if the wrong words are used then that hits the readability. And if English isn't your first language, then the grammar checker can help you with terms that you're not certain about, as well as picking up things like the wrong tense being used.

I hope you accept this in the way it is meant, as constructive criticism! :)

Wanna see more , please continue to write.

The start looks promising, i'd be curious to see where it goes.

I'll comment when I've read the next chapter there's not enough with this one to form an honest opinion.

There are some bizarre word choices though.

Examples:

stood on the bride knowing = stood on the woman who is about to be married knowing

the pain levied back into her mind = the pain collected a tax back into her mind

Is that what you really wanted to say?

Check your timeline. You are writing about earth in January 2491, but then you say you've already bombed the earth in "December 2491" which is in the future. So probably that should be December 2490, right?

Please try and find an editor. Your concept is promising, but the grammar and syntax make it so difficult to read.

I hope it’s finished.

It’s a jumble of everything that goes nowhere, resolves nothing, references things that don’t matter, oh and it’s INCOMPLETE.