All Comments on 'The Lottery Changed Everything'

A read.

I could not give this story more than one. No really story line here, just a recapture of events. Very boring and the solution unacceptable.

this was terrible, you are not a story teller and a terrible writer.

Interesting tale. Two scumbags. Husband and wife. Both cheaters. Did the wife know about the husband? That's my only question.

The wife is dead. Hopefully the husband dies also. In pain.

I hate cheaters.

Although a good basis for a story is here, the actual telling of it lacks all emotion. Reads like a plot outline for a larger story rather then the story itself.

Finally a story that reads the way a man thinks! It is rational, it is logical and it is not about a crybaby mamma's boy! True, the writing could use a bit more flesh, but at the same time I did not find myself having to skip over the usual self-indulgent overly descriptive dross that is in many of these stories! Good plot although I think the main character may come to regret the vasectomy.

I like the BTB stories, but virtual burn not real real burn.

As I said to SS06 early on the punishment far exceeds the crime. There is no equality here. She was a slut, true. But he did nothing to end the marriage then. She probably know he was sleeping around but figured that meant they had an open marriage.

All the previous scored below 4. Tells you something?

He didn't kill her because she had an affair, he killed her to keep his money. I hope he dies,in pain and alone because he wasn't a real man, he was a coward.

I kept thinking that he would find her diary, and read of her true and undying love for him, despite her long term affair. I figured a better ending was him realizeing what he had, only after it was gone, and all the money was no comfort, as he would always have to look over his shoulder to stay one step ahead of the police. No, you really can't like this guy, he is NOT the hero of this tale. And sad if these actions are the fantasy of the author. Technically, the writing here is flawed, a bit, but I wouldn't want to discourage you from further efforts. Keep going, and maybe flesh out your stories a little more. Cheating has consequences, but then so does cruel revenge!

Many "I've discovered my wife cheating..." stories, many results. This result is more what an unhappy husband wants to do (but few fortunately do). In this story, his revenge was to also take liberties. Why not just leave it at that?

When you stick your cock into another man's pussy both of them need to be prepared to die. 7 years is disrespect beyond forgiveness. Btb

The ratings for my stories aren't the reason I write them, but most are above a 3 which encourages one to keep writing. I am improving from some of the constructive critiques I've read and will continue to write. Thanks to those who continue to encourage me.

Fuck your scores, write what you like. I loved the 50 year anniversary one. Please yourself.

You cap off the story by mention that he could not "tolerate" her cheating on him... but he was actually fine with her cheating on him for a very long time... and cheated on her in return! That's just pure hypocrisy. He can't have it both ways - if he's a victim and puts up with it for that long, he's pure cuck.

But the cheating changes all that.

The only reason he murdered her was for money. Pure and simple. So tired of these "it's only cheating if the wife does it stories". If you refuse to get a divorce, you are not a victim, and if you put up with it you're a cuck. If you cheat back, you're no better than she is. You don't get to have it both ways. Agreeing with the Anon that said he's worse than she is.

Yeah, there are guys that think like that, and they're spineless, murderous, hypocritical greedy bastards and end up in prison, because they're never quite as clever as they think they are. This guy for instance, was willing to turn his brother into a murderer rather than having the balls to do the deed himself. He doesn't even stand up for what he pretends he believes in. Gutless. This is coming from someone who LIKES BTB stories. This isn't BTB. It's hypocrite-cuck.

I'm giving you stars for one unique element of the story that is different than the usual slew of attempted BTBS and would have made it better until you tanked the ending - a man who simply turns his marriage into an open one. That's different, if sad, and brings something a little new to the table. The problem is that you tried to have it all, husband cheating AND committing double-homicide, and make the guy still look like a good guy in the process. He's not. He's just a hypocrite.

This is a good example of what happens when you create a story based on purpose ("I want my protagonist to kill his wife and to be justified in doing so"), rather than having actual plot-level inspiration or allowing developed characters to guide the action with their behaviors. You end up with very lazy character choices that you have to keep going back to try and justify (in this case, sticking with her for so long), nonexistent side characters ("Ok, pretend I have a wife. You're never going to meet her or hear her talk, but just run with this a moment..."), and an urge to give in to those amateurish "magic moments" that keep you, the writer, from having to work for your pay ("so then, like, I won the lottery...and then I just sort of happened to know a guy who....").

The ultimate question, the one we all face, is this: what makes a story fun to read, or allows it to stay in your head for days after you've read it? What does one writer do, that another does not? Why does that so often end up making all the difference? what pushes us to care about the people an author has so recklessly breathed into the world? What prevents it?

Every time you post a story, even in a setting like this one, you are asking hundreds or even thousands of people to roll the dice on giving you some of the very limited time they have for themselves. What is it that you MOST want to give them in return...and how do you BEST achieve that?

I don't car if your wife is pulling a train, revenge is one thing. But murder is unforgivable, the man deserved the death penalty not getting away with murder. There is no justification for this sick story.

This was a story about murder for profit, he did not want to split the lottery winnings with her so he had her and her lover killed. This was not a BTB story they were both cheaters.

Finally, a story were the woman gets it in the end!

Murder is Murder, self defense is one thing, murder just to keep money is another. So......for me this story sucked!

he knew she was a slut,, caught her cheating, and tried to live with it using women when he was away from home, no need to not cheat any more. Finally when his love for her is about gone he finds he incentive to eliminate her and her fellow adulterer. I do consider this a BTB story and a good one. Just took him a while to man up. BTW as a new engineer his salary was not that high and with her working he would not have lost that much the quicker u are gone the better 7 years is way to long.

What an array of vile characters. Becky, who believes Kat loves her husband, yet still sows the seeds of suspicion. Kat, who cheats at very nearly the first opportunity. Her long-term lover, who sends Kat back to her husband full of his cum. John, a stone cold killer. And James, who turns a blind eye to years of deceit, cheats himself, is only prompted to take action to protect his bank balance and is able to justify this to his God. I felt like scrubbing my hard drive clean after reading this.

what a crock, she cheated and HE never confronted her , he cheated and killed her only after winning the lottery. that is premeditated murder. the death penalty or life in prison . I don't get the authors ability to make him get off Scott free. she did not deserve to die and he was a greedy mother F------KER. so much for a bad story and ending.

Not all stories have to be raunchy like a gonzo porn video. You seem to write about characters with no redeeming qualities but boy they sure like to talk about their dick size and how big of load he shoots. The point being, maybe you should write a few stories while not stroking off. It might help with the tension in your stories and the characters won't come across as creepy old perverts who are assholes. It's like decisions are only with raunchy sex on the brain!?!?

You have accomplished what only a few other authors have managed to do - write a story with no redeeming or likeable characters. As a result, many will find that, like me, they don't care at all about anything that happened in the story, and don't really care at all about the story. I doubt I'll think about this at all once I submit this feedback...

You must have lost your moral compass somewhere. Check your pockets.

I know you explained your side of it already, but he still should have divorced her right away. If the love was real on both sides you would've been able to reconcile later if you chose to do so. Instead we have growing resentment that ends fatally because both people are too stupid and or greedy to take decisive action. He had it right the second time around though - don't get married. It's retarded. Seriously.

Clean story and to the point. And to some of the commentors, just because you dont condone violence it doesnt mean the story is poor or the author is a murderer either. So instead of him finding his moral compass go find a dictionary and assertain the meaning of fiction. Whats next, u going to boycott CSI on television? My lack of apostrophys?

A marvellous story which is just as acceptable as wimps justifying the promiscuity of diseased strumpets. If readers can digest these homely whores fucking around behind their husbands' backs without a moral compass; readers should also accept literary accounts of their executions.

What's sauce for the gander is sauce for the goose...

This story was written to pander to the cantbuymy crowd and that was its only purpose. Of course it had to be as idiotically manly as possible, and the main elements were a stroke of genius. Killing the cheating slut whore wife just to keep all the lottery winnings. The perfect motive for a husband BETRAYED for ten or however many years. And of course no cuck has the balls to even frown at his wife. So by sheer luck he has a friend who happily murders the slut and her lover. PERFECT REVENGE! Cantbuymy and his minions are still jerking off.

... Neat, clean, and wrapped up in a tight little bow. All cheating wife stories should have such a definitive ending. Bravo.

Enough to make a redwood wilt like kelp! No thanks!

S change from the norm to kill off the wife and her lover.

Cruel Revenge Story. I avoid the murder in the revenge story, but sometimes it may be in a story. However the side thread murder is better in a revenge story. JustPlainBob's story "Rob and Amy" such a story, where the main character does not kill his wife or ex wife, but her THIRD HUSBAND only! Saxon Hart has a similar story, where the main character does not kill his wife ex wife, but her second husband only in the epilog. The murder is better in tragedy story like SS06 and others wrote this thema.

Cantbuymy and karan$$$$ accused I am not a friend of murder. I read a cruel revenge story, where the betrayed husband killed his cheating wife with herbicid (wich was mixed in her favorit tart) to induced cancer with polimetastasis.

I have a story plan for this cruel revenge story to rewrite without murder. It may be in next 1-2-3 years plans. The title will be "A Buntch of White, Yellow, Red Roses".

I read a cruel revenge story, where the husband changed the wife's vaginal medicin with corrosive material and the cheating wife stuck together with his lover. The surgeons cut out the cock of the pussy. The loverboy's cock injured seriously, but the inner organ of the cheating wife destroyed so she died after suffer. The detective, who investigated the manshlaughter he closed his eyes (because he may have a cheating ex wife too).

I do not like too much murder and a revenge story without murder is more friendly and interesting. I hope many revenge story readers and writers agree with me.

You meet a hot bitch in college, go nuts over her and marry her. You are warned she has been and probably still is a hugh slut, and sure enough you find out she still is, but you decide to live with her slutty ass for years until you luck into some wealth at which time you decide your only choice is to kill her, not because you are pissed at her screwing around because you knew years ago she was slutty, and you have been no better. No, you kill her so you can keep all the money. Now tell us who is the bigger scumbag ?

Also why kill the boyfriend? The state should treat you to an injection in both your arms.

I think it was a missed call upstairs. You were talking with your own reverberations. She was a cock hound before you met her. You were shown the evidence and warned in spades. Revenge in this case should have been tempered by your own stupidity. Certainly, murder made you the villain here. A little subtle over-the-top humor here, maybe?

Thats what all the gay guys say about all their little cockold fantasy's. We have all dreamed about having somebody shot in the head, right?

Why did you bother writing this? Improve writing skills? When are you going to start?

Hi Mikoli - I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to offer some constructive criticism.

I like the fact that you're writing regularly, and that your stories are interesting. The grammar and writing I believe are good enough for what you're trying to do. I think there are several things you might do to improve your stories. This is my opinion only, so don't take it as gospel.

1) The Setup: Most of the time, the introduction (Hi, I'm Bob, I'm 5'9" with a 9" cock...) is not necessary. In this case it's not bad, setting up the university background, since that's were we find out she was a slut before she met him. Still, leave the precise measurements behind, rarely if ever needed. It's just poor writing.

2) The meeting with the friend is useful, but contrived. "Hi, I'm her friend, she's a slut. Really. Here's a video. Total slut. BTW, she really loves you, I hope it works out." Either she's burning her friend or not. Make it an enemy, or make it a friendly warning, up front, not the way it was presented.

3) When he's cheating, and she's cheating, it's hard to develop empathy for the murder over lottery winnings. Two cheaters. One is somewhat faithful (single boyfriend) the other is a male slut murderer. Need more than that to justify murder in a story. Hard to relate to shallow characters.

4) Strange that she's a total slut in college, but has one big-dick boyfriend for 7 years afterward. If you want to run down her character, more lovers, threesomes, etc.

5) Better character development - more dialog. The wife has no development whatsoever, so it makes it difficult to care if she's murdered or not. Husband doesn't have a lot more. Some dialog with wifey would help, especially if he tries to make her nervous about her affair. She could slow down for a while, then startup again. Show the addiction to big-cock if that's what it is. She only cheats when he's out of town? She could be getting less discrete, more reason to get rid of her.

6) The blowjob was interesting. She withholds BJs from lover. You could have done so much more with that, then the simple "I guess she was saving it for me." You're recording video, you could have recorded audio, finding out how she feels about her husband, one way of the other. A girlfriend/sister to talk to, maybe. A couple of more characters to make the scenario more complete. Why withhold BJs? I wish you had done more with that tidbit.

7) Simplistic plot: She's a slut but hopefully not for me. Oops, still a slut. I cheat too. Won the lotto. Don't want to share. I want to kill her. I get a friend to kill her. He kills her. I get away with it. I live happily ever after. - I understand this is a flash story, very basic, but a plot twist or some kind of challenge would help a lot. Wife is killed, but so is friend, when the lover fights back. Maybe the lover is killed but the wife is crippled. He confronts her later. Or, she's crippled, he finds out she loved him (blowjobs explained), he feels a little remorse, but still leaves her. Shares the money (what's a few million?) for her care, knowing that she's abandoned and lonely, while seeing him live the good live. Best revenge is a life well lived and all that malarkey. I know you're capable of a more complex plot.

Just a few observations. Sincerely only trying to help your writing. Please continue writing and improving.

TTT

Kat's cousin Becky, not a rival or best friend. Already married so all he can do is hope for the best. Did love her so much at first. Years of knowing she was cheating eroded that love which would be natural. Twin brother as killer, not good buddy or friend. When murder is committed all people present in room must die , no witnesses, so boyfriend, lover, whatever has to die too. Yes husband was a scumbag, but aren't we all just a little like him if we truly admitted to ourselves. In real life I would only kill another person to protect my family. A thief could have all my valuables as long as he didn't threaten my loved ones.

The story moved along at a steady pace; good details and a reasonable ending. Keep up the good work!

you should treat every cheating wife.

though it could be improved.

One really big Flaw...

You drove the van with all the tapes into the Lake, WELL...didn't it occur to you that it may well someday be discovered? You couldn't burn all the evidence....geez!

Gave you a four because you didn't BS or justify!

well written and told i loved what he did with the ashes

way up

this shit, nice troll of those losers though, had any of them ever ventured out of their parent's basement they would 1) snicker at the troll attempt, 2) click 'one star' and move on.

I hate when the man becomes a whimp and doesnt do anything and gets off to his wife cheating revenge is a dish best served cold

you do what u need to do

Why is it all the studs have Ten `` or 12``.

..because if you aren't going to do it yourself in a fit of rage, then don't have someone else do it. And because of freakin' money? No way. Paper isn't worth that.

This story just didn't do it for me.

Since he did not divorce her (and get raped by the system) he should have just had her killed about the third, maybe the second, year. Fuck all you bastards crying for the dead woman, how would you feel if your wife was doing it to you? Give her half of everything you had worked for so far in your life?

caused by the current divorce justice system.

4 stars

i wish i hade the guts to do that.

Sadly I think some of your idiotic BTB fans truly believe murder is an acceptable response to cheating. The concept is sick.

The bitch and her lover got their just deserts!

5

I'm ok with murdering the cheaters but I found this story totally flat and boring. Waste of 5 minutes.

garbage

He was just as bad or worse as he had many partners and she had one. He could have had his cousin cash in the ticket and split it with him after getting divorced. There are many worse women in LW, some that deserved killing. Kat was no where near bad enough.

A great story, A very good BTB story. Dumped her ashes in a garage dump, I liked.

Why did the stupid ass man marry the whore in the first place?

.. marries a tramp and lives with her for years while she cheats. What a dumbass. What a dumb story.

Maybe her mouth was too small to accommodate her large lover. But no, she didn't earn murder.

There are ways to avoid sharing with her, if that's all he really cared about.

There is a really unpleasant hard edge to your stories in how your protagonist experiences life and deals with people. Do you work with metal?

I read another of your stories where you murdered your wife's lesbian lover and her husband because your wife was too weak to resist. This story has you murdering for money. Is that your solution to every cheating situation?

Good solution for cheating wife and her lover. Would hope killer told them who had sent him.

I dream of killing my cheating wife almost every day. And if I knew for a fact that I could get away with it, I would not be squeamish to do so. I even know how I would do it. But knowing that the police would be on me like superglue keeps my thoughts from becoming actions. No, what I will probably do is wait until I know she is away from the house, load up my car and disappear. I have talked to a friend in another state about trading cars with him, and both of us signing over titles to one another. I will let you know how things develop.

So there is no story.

The Tell Tale Heart at least had an inner conflict, even as his insane desire for murder was, er, insane.

And no conflict w the police.

No conflict w the magic friend. He never came back for more money.

No fight w suspicious family or neighbors or reporters. Just 'oh, I have a big dick, bang a lot of girls, am rich and got away w murder. How wonderful am I!'

No

No one has the right to kill another human being.

The moment he became aware of her cheating he should have confronted her and divorced her, not waited years and when the money came along had her killed. Also there is nothing in this story to tell us of her position. Maybe she realised he was a maniac and sought the company of a decent man. Would she have regretted her actions if confronted at an early stage?

If this is the way you think then God help your family.

He could have got out early and chose to put up with shit

No sympathy for him

Give her half

You chose the wrong path both at fault

The assholes who write this wouldn't defend their country, wouldn't protect their family, wouldn't help strangers bring attacked. To them I say BULLSHIT? Survival is the answer to all those cuck apologists.

I agree with FD45. For this story to work there had to be a confrontation. I don't agree with killing them. With the kind of money he had I'm sure he could have thought of something more imaginative without killing. He could have got home secretly and let her know he knew. What would she have said? He could have bought a small island and kept them prisoners but separately. He could have had them tied up naked and tattooed their faces and bodies as cheaters. Maybe cut his balls off. With those things there would be no hiding what they were. I couldn't decide what to score this because of above comments.

He had bareback sex with her which was disgusting after knowing what she was doing. There is no hero here only selfish bad people.

As much as I love BTB stories, this one didn't make sense. He should have confronted her within a month after getting the evidence. Give her the choice - divorce or a very strong post nuptial that heavily penalizes a cheater, and allows/demands at least yearly lie detector tests. He could have divorced her and ruined her reputation (after the divorce) since she was a teacher. This was a simple case of cheating, not a case of intentional inflicted harm or humiliation. It would have been better for him to have divorced her, had a couple of rough years, then won the lottery. Then he could enjoy it, not have any legal or moral issues hanging over his head, and he could have as his revenge living better ( i.e. sending letters of his large home/ranch and exotic vacations with his new girlfriend/wife (prenuptial required) to her telling her he was so happy he wasn't restricted to a teacher's salary.

You fuck it all by killing her. ⭐️

Good little story about Evil people all around. He was the most evil though.

but the reason given for not divorcing her when she came home with the sperm filled cunt didn't work. With no children and a short term marriage, no lawyer would claim that a divorce would have been very onerous. The story would have been more plausible is the first incident of infidelity had been left out.

Money can’t buy you love, but it can get rid of cheating wives and their lovers.