The Love Boat

"The only way I'd care," I said, with an evil glint in my eye. "...would be if I intended to stay married to her. In a case like that you'd be the one who'd have to worry, because I'd bust your ass like I did your two friends."

He took a step backwards. "So you just go ahead and do what you're going to do."

"Twenty five thousand," he said. I just shook my head and headed for the security office.

"Twenty?" he asked. "Surely your wife's good name is worth fifteen thousand dollars?"

"There are some hard working people who bust their butts every day and barely make fifteen thousand dollars a year," I snapped. "Why should I give you fifteen thousand dollars to keep you from telling the world that you fucked some whore? I wouldn't give you five dollars and a Slurpee-coupon to protect her good name. Find another sucker."

"You will regret this," he said.

"Why would I regret it?" I asked. "You're actually working for me dumb ass. You releasing your video will only make it easier for me to divorce her skanky ass. I should probably pay you TO release it." With that I walked away and left him standing there.

I changed into a loose fitting shirt so I'd be cooler in the heat and a pair of long shorts. I grabbed my sun glasses and some sunscreen and headed up to find Sky.

An hour later, Sky and I were sitting in deck chairs on the beach. We could see the ship moored out further in the ocean, but were enjoying the sun and each other. We drank fruity drinks with a deceptive amount of alcohol in them and laughed at the antics of crabs and tourists alike. One man seemed especially funny to us. What is it that makes a fifty year old accountant from Boise, with a beer belly and no coordination, think he can surf or para-sail because a twenty year old native without an ounce of fat anywhere on his body tells him it's easy?

Luckily no one was hurt during the afternoon's adventures. We did get up later and walk along the waterfront hand in hand, shopping and buying a few souvenirs. We returned to the ship after a very restful afternoon to find the ship in an uproar.

As soon as we boarded one of the security men pulled me over to the side. I immediately thought that the captain had failed to tell them that I was allowed to move about freely.

"Mr. Storm," said the security man. "You need to see the captain ASAP. "

"I thought that I was cleared," I said. He looked at me as if I was behind the times. Apparently things had changed in the last few hours.

"Those guys you beat up have been identified for a number of crimes on this ship and others. The guy who danced with your wife has also been implicated in several crimes. The ship's crew, the local authorities, the cruise line and the US government are looking for him. Apparently someone sent a picture of him out and he was identified."

"I sent a picture of the bastard to my lawyer," I said. "I wanted to be able to identify him in case I needed him for my divorce."

"Well your picture set off red flags with the authorities," he said. "Uhm, your wife also has a problem. Several of the members of the crew and the passengers have seen her on, uhm the internet. The rumors are running rampant all over the ship. Luckily for us, we're heading home tonight. We'll be back in Los Angeles by this time tomorrow. Tonight is the formal farewell dance. The captain has asked that your wife spend the remainder of the cruise in her stateroom. A lot of the passengers are outraged by her behavior. The captain was hoping that you could be of service in dealing with her."

I grabbed Sky's hand and headed for the bridge to find the captain. He asked me when the last time I'd seen Eduardo was. I told him about our last meeting and my refusal to pay. Apparently, Eduardo had slipped off of the ship with a shore party and was long gone. I emailed the captain the picture I took of Eduardo so he could send it out to all of the ships and the local authorities. That way they'd be able to identify him.

As a parting shot, apparently Eduardo had posted Danielle's pictures and video on the internet as promised. I didn't know whether or not he'd actually sent it to her contacts.

The captain expressed his regrets for any embarrassment or problems that might cause. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well to show that there are no hard feelings," he said. "I'd like to have you rejoin my table for dinner tonight at the formal dance." I nodded.

"And please, bring your friend," he threw in.

A few hours later, I asked Sky if she wanted to have dinner at the captain's table. "Who would I sit with?" she asked.

"Me, of course," I said.

"Well in that case, let me see what I can throw on," she smiled. "Kiss me." I was becoming more and more glad that I'd somehow lost that bet.

When it was close to dinner time, I went back to my cabin. I knocked on the door. Emma let me in. Danielle was curled up in the bed. She looked awful.

"She's afraid to go out and show her face," said Emma.

"You look nice," I said to Emma.

"Tim and I are going out tonight since, he doesn't have to guard the prisoner," she laughed.

"Me too," I said. "I'm going to the formal dinner. And I'll be sitting at the captain's table again."

"Ooh," she laughed.

"They wouldn't let me back there," said Danielle from her corner. "All of those old stuffy people refused to let me sit there since the night you got thrown in jail. Fuck them. Why would you want to be with them anyway?"

"Danielle, you seemed to think sitting there was important the other night when we were doing it," I said.

"Well why can't you stay with me?" she said. "We need to talk about what we're doing and how we're going to handle this when we get home tomorrow night."

"Don't you care?" she asked. "My parents don't even want to talk to me. You have to explain to them that this wasn't my fault. They like you. They'll listen to you Cal. And what do we do if our friends have seen that video?"

"None of that has anything to do with me, Danielle," I said.

"Cal, ever since this started, you've been angry at me. I can tell because when you're pissed you call me Danielle, like I'm a stranger. You haven't called me Danni since this started. We need to figure out how we're going to handle this. I do have one idea, but you're not going to like it much. Remember that banking job that you turned down in Seattle? There's also the one in Boston. We could have a fresh start where no one knows us. Emma, you could even move there too."

"Danni, there's something you should know," said Emma.

"What?" asked Danielle.

"I'm not coming home," said Emma. "Tim has asked me to move into his cabin and stay on the ship with him. He's going to get me a position on the crew. We're kind of serious about each other. I figured that since you've gotten married there was no way I could have kept up the rent on our apartment alone anyway. So you don't have to worry about what I'm doing. I am home now."

"That's great Emma," snapped Danielle. "Thanks for giving me some notice. It doesn't matter anyway. Cal and I are the ones who need to solve this problem. Happy Trails, Emma."

"Well, I guess you can think about this for a while," I said. "I'm going to dinner."

I left the two of them there in the stateroom. I went to Sky's cabin and knocked on her door but no one answered. I texted her and she told me that she'd be a bit late for dinner, but she'd meet me there.

I went on to the main dining room. As I moved over to the table and sat down I noticed that there were several of the same couples that had been there the first time that Danielle and I sat there.

Most of them greeted me warmly and told me they were glad that I'd returned. One woman told me that I was better off alone and it was actually a good thing that I'd found out very early on in the marriage what kind of woman Danielle was.

The McBrides were there as well. Mrs. McBride told me that they'd complained to the captain when I was locked up. I was sure that I knew that name from somewhere. Suddenly I realized that she and her husband owned a large block of stock in the company I worked for. I'd seen them going to and from the stockholders meetings several times. She told me to save her a dance because she was sure that a lot of the women there would want to dance with me. I thanked her for her kindness and told her that I was sure the women aboard the ship were mostly already taken.

"Don't sell your self short, Honey," she said. "You're a good looking young man, and you have a great job and a very bright future ahead of you. You're just feeling bad because you picked a rotten apple the first time out. What you need is someone like that." She pointed to a woman walking slowly across the floor.

As she got closer, I stood up and my jaw dropped. Her black and blue hair was slicked back and she had glitter in it. She wore a very beautiful bare shoulders dress. The dress was a very dark shade of blue. It was very feminine yet also very tight. I had trouble looking away from her.

As she walked towards us, her face erupted in a smile. She came over to us. "Mr. Storm," she said. "May I have this dance?" She did a little curtsey. Every eye in the room was on us.

"Uhm, there's no music, Sky," I said.

She held up one arm and the DJ started a CD. "I picked this song just for us," she said.

I recognized the song instantly as she led me out onto the dance floor. It was Jefferson Starship's "Nothings gonna stop us now." The song was one of those cheesy 80's up tempo rock ballads that were always played at the end of cheesy 80's movies.

But it didn't matter, it fit. I took her hand and we went out onto the dance floor. I held her very close to me and we did circles and swirled our way around. We were soon joined by several other couples including Tim, the security guy, and Emma, who winked at me and shook her head.

"No chance?" Emma asked as she danced past us. I shook my head. After a few dances we sat down at the table. I introduced Sky to everyone there and we spent a pleasant evening talking and listening to others talk about what they'd experienced during the 5 day voyage.

"We missed most of that," said Sky.

"We'll just have to take another cruise then," I told her.

"Us?" she asked.

I just looked at her crazily. "Of course US," I said. "Do you think I just go around letting anybody kiss me?"

She just smiled and stared at me. Between the main course and dessert the captain pulled me to the side and told me that Eduardo had thus far escaped capture. The local police had been unable to locate him anywhere in town. He'd been seen several times and they were sure he wouldn't get off of the island.

After dinner, Sky and I took our usual stroll to look at the stars and just enjoy the evening. As we got near the stern of the ship we could hear the music from one of the clubs. I just took Sky in my arms and we started dancing to that music.

"So what happens now?" she asked.

"Well, ordinarily this would be the part where I'd dip you," I said. "But people don't really dip anymore."

"I meant with us, you jerk," she said. "What happens with us?"

As I got ready to bring up what I'd been thinking the whole evening, a voice interrupted us.

"What happens, you home wrecking tramp, is that my husband comes back to our cabin with me so we can sort this whole mess out."

It was Danielle. She was really angry. "I see what's been going on," she snapped. "I get taken advantage of and you use that as an excuse to cheat on me. Cal, I expected better of you. Is that your philosophy? Is this an eye for an eye? I had sex with other people, so you get to do it too? Is that how we're going to run our marriage?" I just smiled at her.

"Danielle, I don't really think we're going to be married for much longer," I said.

She looked like someone had hit her in the face with a brick. She started walking towards us. "What the fuck are you talking about Cal?" she spat. "When I spoke to Emma, she told me that you had yourself a little friend. And after what happened to me, even though it wasn't my fault, I figured that you could have yourself a little shipboard fling to take some of the sting out of what I did. But I never agreed to give up our marriage. I guess I can really appreciate us both having a little bit of spice on the side, but there's no way I'm giving you up. And there's really no comparison between me and her. You'd have to be crazy to pick her over me. She can't even carry my bra let alone fit it."

"Danielle, that's the problem with you," I said softly. "You only see things the way you want them to be. Sky has you beaten already in so many ways that you can't begin to understand. I'm just not the kind of person who wants to be with someone who needs to have some spice on the side. If I'm not enough for you, we don't belong together. And let's face it. You don't love me and I don't love you."

"What do you mean I don't love you?" she asked.

I held up a finger for silence and retrieved my iPhone from my pocket. I held the phone up so she could hear it and put it on speaker. "Emma, why are you looking at me like that?" Danielle's voice came out of the phone. "Shit, it's not my fault. I've gone out with so many guys who were only after getting what they could get from me that it just seemed like it was time that I got what I could too."

Danielle's eyes bugged out. "Where did you..." she began.

"Which is probably why, you haven't stopped sleeping with other guys huh?" said Emma's recorded voice.

"What I do when he isn't around isn't his business," said Danni.

"But I..." sputtered the real Danielle, who now realized that she was in trouble.

"Well shit Emma," said Danni's recorded voice. "When I get done with him, I'll try to arrange it so you can have him. I just want to be able to live my life and have fun. I just want to have the things that I want and not have to work like a God damned slave to get them. I'm tired of having to get under a desk and suck some 50 year old guy's wrinkled dick to earn a bonus. I saw my shot and I'm taking it."

"Cal, I was just talking," said Danielle. "I was messing around with Emma. It didn't mean anything. I love you. You know that."

I took Sky's arm and we walked away. "Now, where were we?" I asked her.

"Cal, I will not take this lying down," screamed Danielle behind us. "I will not give you a divorce. I'll do worse than that. I'll get a lawyer and take every fucking penny you've got." She continued ranting until we were too far away to hear her.

"So what did you have in mind?" asked Sky.

"Well, I have this big condo in California," I began. "It's really too big for one person to rattle around in alone. I'd love it if someone were to move in with me."

"Well, I'm really not in a hurry to move back home to Arkansas," she said. "I guess I could consider it, if we made the deal sweet enough."

"You could go back to school and figure out what you want to do," I floated.

"That sounds great and all," said Sky. "But how would I pay for it?"

"You've taken care of your deadbeat boyfriend for years," I said. "I'll take care of you for a while."

"That is starting to sound good," she said. "What about the car?"

"What car?" I asked.

"The deadbeat's Charger, I'm sure he's conned some woman into getting it fixed by now."

"We'll take a road trip," I said. "We'll pass through your old hometown and I'll race his charger and beat him. My Mustang will smoke his Charger."

"Okay," she said looking seriously. "You're not going to force me to have sex with you are you?"

"Of course not," I said. I was thinking that just her kisses would be enough, at least for a while.

"Well, I'm not coming then," she said. "Why would I want to live with a man I wasn't fucking?"

"Oh alright, if we have to," I said sarcastically. "I'll do it but only for you. And only because I love you Sky." Yep, I actually said it and I said it first. This time I really meant it and I knew it was true. I finally knew what love felt like.

"I love you too," she said. "I have ever since that first time we ran together. That's why I just stopped running. So you could bump into me and we could meet. I just knew there was something special about you." She just stood there smiling at me.

"But Cal, we can't do anything until you at least get your divorce started," she said. "And I really want to, very much. It's been a while."

"So tomorrow night then," I said. She looked at me curiously.

"My lawyer is 90% sure that the annulment will go through," I said. "I sent him a copy of that tape I played. I also downloaded a copy of her internet gangbang. The judge will probably rule by tomorrow evening. Danielle will be served with a notice of the pending annulment as soon as she steps off of the boat tomorrow afternoon."

The next afternoon Sky and I left the ship and carried our bags to the parking structure. We were among the first people to leave. Sky and I both had only two suitcases. Her two bags fit easily in my Mustang's trunk and mine were on the back seat. As we watched from the parking structure, we saw Emma hug Danielle goodbye.

Danielle started down the ramp dragging a suitcase while a couple of crewmen brought her other bags. When she got to the street level there was a girl waiting for her. She looked like a college girl. She appeared to be bored and I think she was chewing gum.

Danielle looked at her and nodded her head. The girl gave her a folder full of papers. As Sky and I drove away, I looked in the rearview mirror and saw Danielle sitting on her suitcase crying. Emma ran down to comfort her.

A few days later, just as Sky and I left for our road trip, I got a call from Danielle. She was living with her parents again and was miserable. She begged me to drop the annulment and give her one more chance. I was laughing so hard that I couldn't hold onto the phone.

Sky and I went to Benton, Arkansas. While we were there, I met her parents. We drove around until we ran into an orange Dodge Charger, painted to look like the General Lee. All of the lights were still busted on it. The paint was scratched up and it smelled awful but it appeared to be running. The guy behind the wheel looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days and he also appeared to be a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic. There were a bunch of guys hooting and hollering about racing. I assumed that they were friends of his. He hadn't seen Sky in the car next to me.

We were at a stoplight. When the light turned red, we both floored it. It really wasn't a race. I beat him to the next stoplight by over two car lengths.

"Nice car," he said.

"Hey Bubba," smirked Sky. "See ya."

Sky and I are doing fine. We got married as soon as the annulment went through. Danielle tried to block it. She told the judge that we'd had sex already so the marriage had been consummated. I reminded her that we actually hadn't done it after we'd gotten married though. The judge also had a copy of all of my evidence and the internet tape.

The judge granted the annulment. He told Danielle that the recorded conversation alone would have convinced him, especially since Emma had signed an affidavit that proved that the conversation was actually what was said. He told her that whether or not we'd consummated our marriage was irrelevant because it looked like she had consummated with a hell of a lot of the guys on the ship and she wasn't married to any of them either.

Eduardo was eventually caught. He found a way to sneak back onto the ship and was caught by the security men while the ship was in port a few days later. He ran away from them while he was on one of the lower decks and tried to jump over the side and swim to safety. Unfortunately, the side of the ship he jumped from was the side nearest the dock. He fell over fifty feet and landed on the concrete pier. He hasn't been the same ever since.