All Comments on 'The Lunar Life Ch. 06'

Feel like the sex was a bit rushed, not just the actual sex scene (the preparation for first time anal??) but how fast they are moving with it. Would prefer more of a build up. However I like it and want you to keep it going.

I'm really enjoying this story but I wish the boys wouldn't have gone so fast with the sex. I would have like more experimenting first before just "bam put it in me". I mean, they are both new to this...right?

I know this feels really fast and all that and for those who have read my other stories, you know that's not how I usually write. For my other stories, I've always played a very heavy 'realism' card and that was all good.

For this story, seeing that it was sci-fi, I wanted to change it up a little and I focused more on world building. Sci-fi after all, isn't too much about realism because if not it will be science and not science fiction, am I right?

That being said, I realized I could have made it more believable and for that, it's my bad. I gotta admit, when writing this story, sex was the last thing on my mind and the sex scenes were the hardest for me in this for some reason. I took me weeks writing a few short paragraphs. Maybe because to me, I was writing this more like a regular sci-fi novel (ie hunger games, ready player one) rather than a story with sex in it (ie fifty shades of grey)

By now I think I'm just starting to make excuses and really, I don't want to. I really take you guys' input seriously and I will definitely look into it in my future stories. Hopefully you guys can overlook this part.

This is still an awesome story. Like you said, a departure from your norm, and you will improve on the next no doubt... Love it.

I was attracted to this story by the title- I'm writing a sci-fi novel myself- and I was impressed with the scope of your ideas. Your pacing needs work but you maintain the environment well. What someone said about world building is true- show, don't tell. We're smart enough to figure things out. If you were heating something in the microwave you wouldn't explain how it works to your audience, you'd assume we all know, right? Same with your cool gadgets...or your characters. Drop info like crumbs, not loaves of bread. Use a slow hand, we'll beg for more. You've got talent. I recommend Arthur Plotnik 's 'Spunk and Bite' for tightening up your extraneous descriptions. Can't wait to see where this goes...

I agree about the others on the first time. There is pain and discomfortort. Much more prep is needed.

That being said. I like it much better than chapter 5. :) I am a Scifi finatic so I'm totally digging this story. Looking forward to tomorrow's post.

TM

That first sex was much too much, much too quickly. Both boys have lived till now with the idea that a gay relationship is impossible - they haven't had the normal slow discovery and experimentation that gay adolescents would have. To go from no sex to rimming and anal sex without preparation is hopelessly unrealistic. It jars. Pity, because the story is generally good.