All Comments on 'The Marilona'

This short story has ALL of the halmarks of an old school "High-Space" Opera. The background worldbuilding has a realisticly driven evolution for (and explination of) its technology, biology, and sociology, allowing a VERY easy suspension-of-disbelief. The backstory, actions, and interactions of the Protagonist and all of the Secondary characters fit perfectly within this Reality, and were both believable and reasonable (realative to each Character at the time). The Plot was rail-straight, excellently paced, easy to follow, and showcases a degree of creative precision and control from its Author (O.S.O.S.M.) that:

1. This work COULD be cited as a new Bench-Mark for other works published on this site. AND

2. O.S.O.S.M. is either a professional writer, or has non-professionally written enough material to refine his or her skills to a professional level.

I must admit that initially, I fully anticipated the Author getting caught in at least one backstory hole (where the explination of the underlying story mechanics brings the its progression to a full and painfull stop) and was quite suprised to find myself halfway though the story and completly trusting O.S.O.S.M. to not fail in that regard.

Literary analysis aside, I realise that this is a Stand-Alone story, and I HATE that. I really like this story and this Universe. I would love to see this Story AND this Universe expanded upon. If you have ANY inclination to perpetuate this Cannon, PLEASE do so. I'm about to go read your ONLY other story here on Lit (please take note of my frustration at needing to say that lol) and have high expectations. Excellent work that EASILY earns a 5.0 rating.

very good basis for a lot of short stories like this one. Each voyage brings new involvements and excitement. Keep this threesome going they have some nice chemistry.

I enjoyed your story and writing very much. Another please.... I'm not sure why you think projectiles won't work in space or why energy weapons would be too expensive. But hey it's your story so just puzzled no complaints.

Don't stop!!

I wont repeat what others said but I agree this is a first rate story, I rarely see so much background detail that works in a sci-fi story. Going to add my vote to the chorus asking for more stories in this universe. 5 stars.

Certainly one of the best. I can't say much to help you improve the story. But there are a few physics mystakes:

1. In vacuum things cool SLOWER, nor faster. Space is a very good thermal isolation because the only way to lose heat is be irradiating. That's why you use air to cool things: when it touchs a surface, it exchanges heat.

2. Bullets don't need air to work. Gunpowder doesn't require oxigen to explode and you could also use a CO2 pressure gun. Heat dispersion would be a problem for most guns. You could also use coils to propel projectiles.

3. It's extremely dangerous to be outside a moving ship. There are things in space like drops of gas, rocks, etc. If one of them hit you at high speed...

I'm saying this because your story has the level of realism I would expect from Arthur Clark if he wrote erotica. If you aren't pro already, you should consider a career in writing.

Fine quality to your writing. Take your time but always give us another. Thank you!

A lovely romance story settled in a brilliantly brought to life hard sci-fi universe, I've throughly enjoyed this bit of storycrafting. Thank you, and a tip of my hat for a job well done.

So far beyond the normal collections here, you probably deserve your own genre. Thank You for the wonderful read.

Damn good read. I regret not having discovered your writing earlier... Keep up the good work and let us readers have some more soon.

I read this some time ago and loved it.

Now reading it again I still love it but am sad to not see any subsequent adventures.

Is there a chance you will revisit Asger, Noala and Aoada?

As a Space Opera reader from a teen, this hits nearly all the marks, the only point it misses is what happened to the pirate ship and it’s crew, would love to read more but, as the bunny said, th-th-that’s all folks! 5 star quality all the way.

Amazing. Loved it.

UncertainT.