All Comments on 'The Marriage Ch. 09'

You've left far too many loose story ends in there.

This cries out for sequels (plural). Get busy!

The story is definitely entertaining. It is undeniable that you are a gifted writer.

5 stars seems too low.

Once again my thanks for a superb series - enjoyable and well written as usual.

I wait eagerly for your next story/series.

Thank you

However, I'm a little sad to see that you ended it here. I guess I was hoping that you'd do maybe one more chapter as an epilogue perhaps timed around the wedding of Hamund and Meredith. It would be nice to get a glimpse into the future and see how the families have progressed....like what type of Dad Uri became once Edwena had children, and see if Alia was able to have a child and how it was received, and even find out what's happened with Balen. Somehow, Balen's relationship with the future king really intrigued me. It really humanized the prince for me and was clearly pivotal in the way he reigned over his kingdom.

Despite the lack of the last chapter I was hoping for though, it really was a fantastic story and a joy to read. It was exceptionally well written and well edited. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your work in the future.

Not that I wouldn't love to read more from you, but this story is done, and done incredibly well.

More stories in this universe would not be amiss, of course.

A great story, and beautifully told. Thank you so much for posting ... although what am I going to read now?! Unlike others, I don't wish for a sequel - this stands perfectly on its own, and sequels, in my mind, never can live up to the standards set by the original. I am sure your imagination will come up with something else to enthrall us all.

What a fine accomplish this story is!

I don't contain my reading to just one category on this site, but I don't read them all either. That said, THIS story has kept me going for the last few weeks and, has been one of the best I have read site-wide in the last few years!

Of COURSE, I could see this made into a movie, and whether you have ideas to that end or not, I feel that this speaks to your talents as an author; to craft your stories with a bent to the cinematic.

I think that I have read most, if not all, of your entries here on Lit. I have thoroughly enjoyed everyone of them. This story, however, has been my favorite. Thankyou so much! I hope you never outgrow your audience here, as I want to read endless contributions from you. That said, your talent outpaces many on this site. For as brief a time as you have been contributing, you have almost immediately ascended up to the top of the ranks. You deserve every bit of praise, high scores, and red Hs you recieve. I hope you can continue to enjoy your success here HALF as much as we continue to enjoy you!

Thanks again!

of options for sequels, lots of loose ends that can be filled in, but a tale rounded out well. (although I do wonder how it originally ended & what changed for your rewrite)

My thanks to the author for another wonderful series.

I liked the medieval backdrop and was pleased with

both Uri's reversal and the final resolution.

This has been a wonderful journey!! Although I am sad to see it end, I hope you continue with the future kings and queens!!!

What a marvelous ending to a great story. I second Anonymous's comments. You have certainly risen to the top in the romance authors list. I have to admire the re-write. I confess, I did lose sleep over the weekend due to the direction I feared the story was going. Truly Five+ Stars and future HOF! 😃

Truly a WONDERFUL story! I greatly enjoyed it, DreamCloud! I didn't want it to end. 20 stars if that were possible!

MastersWench

Engaging and well rounded mix of sex and traditional story telling. It would make a great off season replacement for HBO when Game of Thrones is on hiatus.

The title says it all...Thankyou..

Well, I'll be damned. Angelica warn't in cahoots with the Wolf after all. She was just a flamin' bull dyke! Shit, oh dear, what's the dark ages comin' to? Good show, DC. Enjoyed it. Cheers!

Thank you, this was a very engaging and entertaining tale. I looked forward to each instalment and enjoyed the twists and turns of the plot. Well done.

My only complaint is that you made us wait 4 DAYS for the final chapter!

Love your work.

Brings tears to my eyes!

Full of interesting characters and situations. Sure could be made into a film if someone has the ear of a producer. The ending was very satisfactory.

Thanks Dream Cloud for your delightful contribution.

Thank you, DreamCloud, for sharing your story with us. I'm only going to give it a 9.8 stars because I may someday find one I like better, but I doubt it. This was truly great read. Thank you! B.A.

An excellent story! :) I couldn't wait for the next chapter to be published! I enjoyed it immensely! :) I hope, you have a sequel in mind! :)

Please keep up the good work!!

One of the few stories I truly hated to see end. Very well written, twisting plot, and easy to follow. A must read for this category. 5 Stars

You have turned out a magnificent story, you are to be congratulated. I look forward to reading more of your fine work.

Fantastic story, you really had me going with how 8 ended how they'd get out of there alive.

Wow, just wow. You had me hooked from chapter 1. This is one of the most amazing stories I have ever read, and your writing is extremely impressive. I'm going to read all your stories now! Thanks for the time and effort you put into this story. I greatly appreciate it

Thanks again,

CA

And the women would have it no other way.

Incredible story!! Do not believe I have ever read one that captivated me more. I SINERELY hope that you will consider writing more medieval stories in a similar setting! I so thoroughly enjoyed this piece... The entire 9 chapters were all incredibly well done! You are A gifted author indeed!

Dreamcloud had been wonderfully upfront about how much help Tim413413 has been in editing the story, and possibly in providing input into the plot. Take a bow Tim413413. The quality of this story speaks to a productive partnership.

I would love to see how the children grow up in the next series! ;)

A fairy tale that often brought tears to my eyes. The words evoked the era and the plot defied all logic, just as real life does. Kudos for maintaining the mood throughout. It is a favorite of mine and one you should certainly think of publishing.

Yes, I am very fortunate to have Tim working with me. I tend to write blindly. Tim acts as my eyes and often my brain. The first version of this chapter was weak. He called me on it and hopefully we ended up with something better. Thank you all for your kind comments. Both Tim and I appreciate them greatly.

:) :)

Such a wonderful story! Amazing and funny and sweet

What an ending. Great story. Superb. Thanks for sharing.....

Nine chapters of absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for sharing!

The ending is the mark of a superior writer. Just brilliant.

I really love your stories, this is the 3rd story you've written that I had read, if only there would be enough time, I would just read all of your stories.

I'm giving this series five stars even though I didn't like it much. The writing was great as usual. The characters were very much alive on the pages. The sex didn't seem forced and the whole thing flowed nicely. The reason why I didn't like it much has nothing to do with your writing and more to do with idea behind the characters themselves. I understand that the story is playing up the notion of smart and strong women vs dumb and helpless men. There's nothing wrong with it in small doses. However, it does seem like it plays a little too strongly at times. I'm not a big fan of stories biased against either sex (strong men/dumb women? ugh. too many of those crap). I get that that is the running theme of the story: men and women have different idea of 'equal', but I was hoping, all the way to the end, that Cayden's voice would at least be heard on...something. Nine chapters of him implying he has no control was kinda tiring and disappointing imho.

I hope that you write more stories from this universe. All the characters were likable and I loved the happy ending. Like others, I am curious about Alia's child, Uri's family, and Meredith and Hamund. Thank you for writing such a lovely story.

This was a wonderful story. I did think that Sacor got off far too easy for his arrogance and brutality. I think the appropriate punishment would have been to clothe him in rags and parade him before the citizens of the lands he wanted to conquer then finally before his own people before he was beheaded. He was given an opportunity, which he refused to die with dignity, in a sword duel.

Of course, I do realize that when he insulted Queen Angelica in those times the natural response was to dispatch the insulter immediately.

Thoroughly enjoyed this example of your storytelling. I believe it is your best yet,(that I have read).

Keep up the good work!

You are a fine writer, good sir.

I've read most of the stories you've posted

in quick succession...

Sucked me right in, and i don't usually tolerate

romances such as this.

You score again with a well written story. I was somewhat hesitant to read this series due to the title but was very pleasantly surprised once started. The plot has enough twists and turns to keep interest up. Your editor/proofreader does a very good job but would have nothing to work with without your imagination and skill as a writer to start. Kudos to both - you for the creativity and your editor for his skill. Thank you for another well crafted, entertaining story. 5*

You'll have to excuse me, I'm a little tired. Just got back from Southerson during the middle ages. What a vacation! What an adventure! Those people really know how to love, fight and party. Thank you for that experience, I didn't want to come back. Reading the comments, I have to agree this story could easily be made into a movie. On that note, was Tim the editor that you happened to meet in the broom closet for your story research? The things you authors do to keep it real. Again, thank you for that First Class ticket.

Thanks for your stories

I have now read through most of your stories and have enjoyed them immensely, with the marriage series truly romantic with males and females showing deep convictions and yet ready to compromise in a loving way. I was saddened in the job series that you could not allow the family to live and escape from the Mafia

I have save this story until the end.

I'm glad that I did because it was most enjoyable.

I look forward to any new stories that you will write.

Thank you for your efforts.

RJ

I absolutely loved this. I prefer stories set back in time. And this was an absolutely wonderful story. Its story line was something different then the norm and I enjoyed it immensely. Please continue to write. Thank your editor, because I love your ideas!

and I enjoyed just as much as the first time.

Thanks to the author.

You are a very large talent here. I do love your stories. I doled this one out chapter at a time so I could prolong the ultimate loss by completion. Very well done.

Like many of the other commenters, I thoroughly enjoyed this, as well as several other of your stories. I just finished reading this story and will be back to re-read in time. Thank you for all your work, imaginations, and inspiration. Mike

I just finished all of your writing to date. Today 8/17/2015. Enjoyed every story you wrote. You have a gift of telling tales, and the intelligence to convey your thoughts. I personally like feel good stories. Gave you the highest marks. Thank you very much for your efforts. Outstanding!

Each chapter...the whole story...GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was undoubtedly one of the best series I have read. Loved it. Please continue writing as you do.

Words fail me. I hope "Thank You" suffices

It has been said that words fail to describe these stories. I must agree. DreamCloud is a masterful and talented writer whose stories touch the hearts of all who read them. I thought "The Job" was the best but I believe "The Marriage" surpasses all others. We are all truly fortunate that DreamCloud shares his incredible talent with us.

The only beef I have with the story, is that these are supposed to be kingdoms, but what the author describes is each farming community having their own royalty and castles. They're even smaller than fiefdoms. This seems extremely impractical and unrealistic. Actual kingdoms (especially ones that took weeks to traverse), would have 100's of thousands up to millions of subjects spread throughout cities and farming villages. The standing armies would be counted by the 10 thousand and not less than 500 combined from two different kingdoms in an alliance. The lack of any people populating the world was the biggest distraction. The actual story and romance were superb. However, another little burr is the lack of a biological reaction in Angelica and Mylle from penetration. I understand not getting excited, but even rape victims get wet to protect their sexual organs, and the growing love between all of them would have made it believable to explore a direction where they actually did derive pleasure from being with their man.

It's not perfect, but on this crazy site? How lucky can we get to see future authors practicing on us.

bill....

5s all the way...

No need for further comment! :)

I never comment on this stuff but this was a deliciously good story. Thank you. Love it. No critiscisms.

Yeah, the population thing was odd. Even in countries with smaller populations in Medieval times, they numbered into the hundreds of thousands, and even the smallest armies were into the thousands. Conquering armies? Tens of thousands. Largest(For Europe anyways, China fielded massive armies at the time) was the Umayyad Caliphate with some 120 thousand during the Siege of Constantinople.

Here we have kingdoms invading with hundreds? Maybe internal fief fighting, but not kingdoms.

Also, Siege engines took weeks to make, not days.

Of course, we have the much more liberal ideologies about homosexuality than existed. Yes, homosexuals have always existed, and I am sure some royalty and nobility were homosexual and had secret lovers, just like all the others with their secret lovers, but never, ever would they have come out with it.

But hey, it is a fictional story on a site for erotic literature, I should probably stop over analyzing.

I loved the actual story itself though.

Very enjoyable and well written story. Looking forward to more of your submissions.

An incredible story. Very entertained. Confused at ages of kids at end. But overwhelmed with your creativity. Thank you.

Just wow. This was such an enjoyable read. I am almost at the end of devouring your submissions in no particular order and I am greatly saddened by that. I urge others reading this to explore your immense ability to spin a tale. Thank you.

Wonderful story.

Mid-way through re-reading, it occurred to me how perfectly you set the exact right tone with your choice of language for Cayden's voice. So often while reading a "period" story like this a reader encounters some overly flowerly language or an inappropriate colloquialism that pulls them out of the narrative. Not here. In addition, Cayden's voice always bespoke his royal upbringing, no vulgarities or coarse language for him.

The words always seemed to flow effortlessly, without calling attention to the skill (and sweat) required to wrangle them into place. Excellent work.

the story had come full circle, there was much to learn and have learnt in this story, the maturity and growth of the characters, of Cayden and his desire for his family's happiness, well written. underlying it all is that love is a strong rive in us that we can only surrender to it no matter what we are that to love fully, courageous in love being equals and having trust makes for a happy home and happy life.

well done

For a period piece set in ancient times this is one of the best I have read. The wording was close to perfect. I did notice a couple of spelling errors in names but will blame them on modern autocorrect not understanding the olden times spellings... LOL

Again well done Lord DreamCloud

Myassisdragin

Great tale

Would have enjoyed a 30 years hence but otherwise nice unconventional story.

Beautifully written with solid characters and a well designed narrative arc. I commend you.

Excellent on all counts. Characters, depth, setting, dialogue. I really thought Uri was going to turn out gay, but your story choice ended up so much better. A real pleasure to read.

I read this story straight through. The character's were great and the story just seems to draw you in. I loved it.

I couldn't help but notice that everytime there's a one to one dialogue, its followed by something like My love or My wife or My husband. Not once did I find the person addressing the other by his or her name. You should probably not make it repetitive... Great story though, loved it.

Loved the story...read it straight through. It was well laid out and thoughtful......just dang good!

See Above.

Came to this story from "The Link" and found the storyline so different to all the others by Dreamcloud so far, causing me to struggle with it a bit, but by the end of the second part I was hooked and couldn't stop reading. Well done !

A true work of art. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

I have now read many of your stories. I am always sceptical about reader's comments when they say how you should have had the characters do this or that, or speak differently or make suggestions as to how the plot should go. You are the author. When I want to read someone else's writing I will read theirs. When I want to determine how the plot goes I will write my own.

At this point I can only say I always enjoy your stories. You are a clever, imaginative, knowledgeable writer who always keeps me entertained.

Keep up the delightful work.

This story is fit to be made into a movie.....you are most certainly talented...more power to you elbow

does not always conquer all in real life, so it is very pleasant to read such a magnificent tale that bears such eloquent witness to it's power

Freaking awesome!

My only suggestion would be a rather large expansion. I would like very much to see a novel or series of novels. The story line is very strong, the details consistent and the dialogue excellent. Time for you to make this an expanded story of lives and the rise and fall of a kingdom. Get started and I hope the see the series on store shelves soon.

Vertically my thoughts exactly, you could even go further and say this is not the end to this fantastic story but the beginning. Brilliantly written, well done

Finally, I have found what I´m looking for..., and I want to change the song (with the permission of U2) to Nights in white satin (if Moody Blues is not opposite).

Great story, where the love is most powerful than the swords.

Some day, the woman's get the politic power and the men's are only a representative figure (I´m a man).

I hope to see that.

Lovely story, complicated relationship between the King Cayden, Queen Angelica, Lady Alia and Lady Mylle. Normally, foursome never works, but in this story, are two couples working together.

King Uri was surprising me, he only need to found his love to be a great King, and the both parents of the kings are compressive with the Cayden relationship (very improbable in the Medium Age where this story is placed, but this is an romance tale).

Is for that your my favorite author.

Remember my others comments, you have a future as movies screenwriter!

5* for you.

Good Job!

I apologize for my English, is not my native language.

It's a very good story I think that you should continue on

At first I thought, a medieval tale, I don't think so, but I continued reading and didn't stop. Another well-crafted story that was a joy to read. Great writing ! Well done!

This was a fascinating story. Superb character development - I think the reason so many comments called for a sequel was because we all liked the characters. Well done author and editor.

Exceptional work that transcends the the bounds of this site. This author joins only several gifted others that could have written the complex and absorbing characters in this great story. Your readers beg for more.

Awesome story!! I guess I am not the only one who wants the story to continue. I'd like to see progression in The King and Alia having a child (and maybe even Mylle so she doesn't feel left out?) and also see the growth of Hamund and Meredith. Please continue the story!!!! Thanks

Thank yoy for another great story.

You, sir, are a true storyteller. You have been the cause of many sleeples nights as I can't always put the story down.

Please continue gifting us with your prose.

DoW

Wow

Another great story

Please keep them coming

What a story!! I was caught by the first chapter and could not put it down... I would have loved to hear of Alia being with child before the ending.

i usualy try to say something 'negative' as i feel it benefits the writer more than praise...this time i just cant find any negative to say. or maybe this: all your characters where subperb but i didnt realy feel it with alia.

ps, i love Angelica she is awesome

A lovely story well told. And even better it is actually complete. Thoroughly enjoyed

Another great one. You are truly the master. My only wish it's for more stories by DC.

DO NOTHING FOR ME...AS IT IS PURE FANTASY AND RELATES TO NOTHING IN TIME WE KNOW....

Excellent. This is publish-worthy.

I can't be the only one yearning for a Uri & Edwena story? DreamCloud please make my dreams come true <3

I can't remember how many times I've read this over the years but every time I do I think this is better than most series on television. Set it in space and a new franchise is born. DreamCloud, I don't know where you've been but I hope you are well and not finished writing. It has truly been a pleasure. Thank you for all your hard work. You are truly an Artist.

Thank you for creating this. I enjoyed the rich characters and the many subtle twists of plot. I have read it twice and the story brightens my days. I almost stopped, postponing its completion, but resolved instead just to read it again. I wish I were so kind, courageous and living as those you have brought to life.

too bad for reality. Your tales often are not about how life is, but about how it should be. Though - in a certain way - that's just about how it really is. The secret of your writing is that you cross the chasm that's separating ugly reality from lovely fantasy kind of effortlessly in an absolutely charming, but also truly believable way. We need this so much!

Above all, I like, how you always let your main characters grow beyond their limits - deepening respect, trust, and ultimately love. I must say I feel encouraged by the sheer numbers of readers who like you just for that. Thank you!