All Comments on 'The Metropolitan Affair'

absolutely great description, made me cum thrice....

If you're going to write in English (and I sincerely advise you not to in future, your English is really not as good as you obviously think it is) learn how verb tenses and participles, punctuation, and expository writing work; your constant changing of tenses and bizarre mix of stilted, archaic, and colloquial English jarred me over and over again, until I finally gave up. I'm not an English professor, and I don't expect 'Hemingway'-like perfection from amateur writers, but really, the way this swoops from tense to tense and clause to clause is too distracting to take even remotely seriously. In future, please confine yourself to a language you are completely 'au-fait' with, not English; because this is, in the main, an English-speaking site (with a foreign-language section for writers like you), a certain facility with the language is a must, and is expected from readers here if you expect to make an impact.

Wrong category, wrong language skills, utter crap!

There are many Indians who actually speak this way, and this being a first person narration, I think it works pretty well and sounds quite authentic. The miscategorization.. well, it's also true that the kind of family relationships that are described here would make the relationship quite taboo, though in the west it would barely register as such. The build up of the story was ok, though not great, and could have used more tension. Maybe as a result of that the sex scenes didn't feel very exciting.

I hope the author tries again.

I had selected First time but somehow I must have not checked again before submitting. And everyone thanks for your honest comments/feedback and would work towards improving my writing

Well I think this is a charming little story, it's believable, sexy and hot. What more could you ask for?

Your English is probably fine for conversation, but very bad for writing. Please find an English-speaking editor for this, because it's nearly unreadable.

Please read the next chapter at

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-metropolitan-affair-ch-02

not bad great way to suduce a friend

It is an interesting read... love the detailing but you have to be more detailed about the erotic parts and you can be crisp about the build up... build up is nice but shouldne be over done.,.... but all in all a good read....

Loved the flow.

another illiterate WHORE posting cuck SHIT.

I absolutely loved it!