The Monster Within Ch. 01

"Of course, you can stay here. I have more than enough space." Beverly reinforced her embrace for a few moments showing her gratitude.

"You don't seem to need much space, anyhow." Beverly grinned over her whole face. "I think you could do with two square metres, tonight."

I shot Esther a nasty look. She knew well enough that I was uncomfortable around people I didn't know well, especially if things got personal.

"I'll do anything if you just let me stay here," she said timidly. I lightly pressed her reassuringly.

"You don't need to do anything to stay here. I've never turned down a friend asking for help and I will not start with that today. If it helps, you can also stay for the next few days. You can have one of the guest rooms and I'll have two of the monsters guard you at all time."

"Monsters?"

"Yeah, that's one of the nicknames for the dogs."

"Thank you," she said again reinforcing her embrace. I needed to get her off me or she might start to notice that my cock was clearly annoyed at me for not intending to take advantage of the situation.

I apologised myself claiming I needed to go to the bathroom. Reluctantly Beverly let go of me and I left the living room. As I stood in the bathroom I splashed some cold water on my face, looked up and stared directly into the eyes of the guy in the mirror.

"You will behave. You will not take advantage of this woman. Do you understand?" The guy in the mirror nodded reluctantly, my cock complained in my pants. Being where I was, I quickly relieved myself. Afterwards I stuffed my cock back in the pants, looked down, pointed at it with my forefinger and said "Behave!"

As I got back in the living room, the women were chatting. Esther still sat on the couch, Beverly on the arm rest of the recliner clearly expecting me to sit down there again so she could squeeze in next to me. I heard my cock laugh at me. It would hurt her deeply if I sat on the couch and Esther unmistakably nodded me towards the recliner. So I gave in and sat down. Beverly reattached herself immediately.

We continued to talk for some time. I noticed that Esther helped me steer clear of some of the more sensitive topics like Sandra, the events at the hospital or the events I had hinted at earlier with that careless side remark. She knew, I didn't like talking about them. When the time was nearing 20.00h, Gab's bed time, Esther apologised herself and went to collect her children. Dan was already fast asleep and Esther was trying to gather her belongings with him in her arms. I stood to help. I took Dan out of her arms leaning him on my shoulder and took Gab's hand.

"Stan, don't leave me alone." Beverly realised that I intended to help Esther get the children in bed at her home and stood up to follow.

"I'll be back in a few minutes. There is no need to worry. But I can send the pack up if you feel safer then."

"Or I just come with you." She was clearly upset at the prospect of being alone. I looked over at Esther for support. But for all the talk of 'treating me back' she was of very little help right now. She was suddenly very busy studying the plant which stood next to her.

"If this is what it takes to make you feel safe, then ok. Come with us."

We went over to Esther's place and put the children in bed. Beverly was waiting in the entrance hall. After Gab was tucked in her mother approached me,

"Bev needs safety, right now. Donald scared the living hell out of and rattled the foundation of her entire being. She needs someone who protects and loves her."

"Esther, I can care about and protect her but I'm not ready for more. I'm just not over her yet. I can't betray her."

"Stan. It's been four years. She wouldn't have wanted you to stay alone."

I briskly turned to walk away and said over my shoulder, "that's not your business. I'll help Beverly get back on her feet and that's it. Bye." I left Esther standing, went to Beverly waiting in the hall and grabbed her by the elbow.

"Let's go."

After having just been confronted with more emotions than I wanted and could handle, it was much rougher than she could handle right now. Beverly flinched. I let go of her arm, upset by my lack of self-control. I turned to her, giving her my full attention.

"Beverly, I'm sorry. I didn't intend to be rough. It's been a stressful day. I'm really sorry, I should have been more thoughtful." I carefully extended my open hand towards her, letting her control the moment of contact. She took my hand, pulled herself towards me and clung to my arm without saying a single word, just looking at me with big eyes. We slowly walked over to my house.

We entered on the ground floor. To the left of the generous entrance area is the technical room, on the right the walk-in fridge. Ahead are the stairs up and next to them a small corridor leading on. There was one room on either side of the corridor, my office and Sandra's former office. The corridor itself opened into a large room, fitted with multiple pillows, blankets and baskets for the pack. A door with an included dog flap led into the large garden on the south side of the house, the garden ended at the lake and my private beach.

I led Beverly into the kennel, carefully took both her hands in mine, looked at the pack and stated clearly, "Friend." I let go of her hands and moved a few steps back.

The dogs slowly got up and walk closer. They took turns sniffing at Beverly and waited for her to pet their heads.

Once the ritual was over I asked Beverly to point to two of them. After she did, I led her towards the stairs and called "Paris. Dublin. Heel." They quickly complied.

"That's a good choice. Paris is probably the physically strongest of the pack. He really just peaked at his six years. Dublin is three and the bravest Doberman I've ever trained. They are by definition a very brave and strong breed but I've rarely seen a dog being so reckless about his own safety."

We reached the first floor which had the kitchen, the living-dining-room just above the kennel with an exit to the balcony, two bed rooms, a large media-room where the TV and stereo were set up and a rather large bathroom with a spacious shower, a toilet and a sink.

I led her towards the eastern bed room.

"Paris and Dublin will be on special guard duty and be right outside your room. The other eight will perform the standard duty. That means that if an ant enters the property, they will know. If anybody came close to the house, they would go on red alert and wake me up. I will then take care of the situation.

No harm will come to you while you are here. Is this good enough for you?"

"I had hoped I could sleep with you in your bed tonight," she replied, looking up into my eyes.

"I really don't think this is a good idea. You need a long, undisturbed night of sleep which you wouldn't get lying next to somebody else whose sleeping pattern you're not used to. But I can stay with you until you're asleep if you wish."

"Please. Don't leave me alone, don't make me beg." It was a fearful, desperate whisper that came out of her mouth. I sighed and realised I was fighting a lost battle.

I pulled her in a caring embrace and asserted her, "Ok. It's ok. You can sleep in my bed. Paris. Dublin. Relax."

While the two dogs went back down to their kennel, I led her away from the guest room towards the stairs up. The stairs led directly into the large master bedroom. A capacious walk-in closet, complete with washing machine and dryer, and a spacious bathroom equipped with a big hot tub, a double-sink, a spacious shower and of course a toilet were connected to it.

"You don't have a pyjama with, do you?" I rhetorically asked as we reached the bedroom.

"I usually sleep in the nude," she replied with a promising look on her face.

"But you won't tonight."

"Why not? The pyjama would only be in the way for what I have planned for you," she replied moving her hands up to the sides of my face trying to pull me into a kiss.

"Beverly, no!" I stated firmly, taking her hands in mine, removing them from face and holding her at a distance. I would not waver. "You've gone through hell today and have only just started your way back. I would feel like an asshole if I took advantage of your fragile state of mind.

Now please go take a long, soothing shower, clean up, try to relax a bit and then we can go to bed. Ok?"

"I will do as you say."

While she was in the shower, I got a blanket and a pillow and started to prepare Sandra's side of the bed for Beverly. I halted. This would be the first time that somebody would sleep where she had slept, dream where she dreamt, wake up where she had woken. That thought rocked my deepest core and brought me to the brink of tears. I shook my head to clear those thoughts out. I quickly finished the bed, got a T-shirt from a drawer in the closet, opened the bathroom door just as much as needed, hung the T-shirt on the handle, closed the door and went downstairs to get a glass of water for Beverly during the night. I started going back to the bedroom.

"No!" Screaming. Panicking. I sped up.

"Stan!" I was already running but at hearing that scream I sprinted the last few steps faster than Usain Bolt and barged into the bedroom ready to fight whoever had somehow come past my pack.

"Stan!" Beverly stood there dressed in the T-shirt I had prepared, alone, lost, panic all over her face, screaming my name. When she saw me coming up the stairs, she rushed over to me and grabbed and held me.

"I thought you had left me alone."

Still holding the, now empty, glass of water in my left hand, I tried to calm her with my right, softly stroking her upper back.

A few seconds later ten highly alerted Dobermans barged into the bedroom, spreading out, checking every corner of the floor, searching for potential enemies, securing the room.

"Pack. Relax."

They calmed. Berne, the oldest and most confident of the pack came close and leaned in on Beverly, feeling her stress, feeling her panic, comforting her the way only the presence of a grown self-assured Doberman can.

"Good boys. Go down. Sleep." The pack left.

Carefully I manoeuvred us towards the bed stand and put the glass down.

"You must think I'm just a silly girl. No wonder you don't want to sleep with me," Beverly sobbed.

"Hey, Bev. Look up. Look into my eyes," I spoke softly, "I do not think, you are a silly girl. You've gone through a lot today, you are shaken to the core, scared and confused. You are deeply traumatised and that, and only that, is the reason I do not sleep with you right now. You need time to heal your inner wounds, to refocus yourself, to find your inner balance.

Now please, lay down, make yourself comfortable. I will also grab a quick shower. I'm just a few meters away. I'll leave the door open." I took my tablet from the night stand, entered the passcode and handed it to her.

"Here, look for something nice to calm you. I recommend puppy or cat videos," I said with a grin in my face. The corners of her mouth jerked and, looking up to me, she finally managed a smile that almost reached her eyes. The first one I had seen all day.

"Thank you," she whispered, "thank you for being around."

I smiled at her and went into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar.

"Don't follow me. Stay where you are," I called out, only half joking. As she could see the whole bathroom, I walked into the shower, undressed, threw the clothes out and enjoyed a few minutes to myself in the stream of hot water. When I felt I had sufficiently soaked, I soaped up and rinsed. I reached out, grabbed my towel from the radiator, dried myself quickly and wrapped the towel around my waist. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for the onslaught of emotions I expected when I got back in the bedroom.

Beverly laid on her side, clutching my pillow, pressing her face into it, her knees pulled up as far as they would go.

I went in the closet, threw my used clothes in the basket, took a fresh pyjama and dressed. I returned to the bathroom, Beverly had not moved a bit, and hung up the towel to dry on the towel radiator and entered the bedroom. I went to my side of the bed and climbed in. I lay on my side, my head propped on my hand.

"I need my pillow," I smiled at Beverly.

"No. Please let me keep it. It smells safe," she looked at me coyly.

"Ok." Another small battle lost. "But at least give me the other one."

"You could use my breasts as pillow," she suggested. I locked my eyes on hers.

"Beverly. We discussed this just a few minutes ago." Stay strong. You've resocialised some of the wildest and most violent dogs in the country. You enter kennels no one else dares to enter, you approach dogs no one else goes near. You took on the gang. You must be able to handle this totally submissive woman.

"You are not in a mental state to make sound decisions. Therefor I make them. No stroking, no kissing, no petting, no sex. Just sleeping. I've backed down from many stands today to provide comfort to you but here I will stand firm for the very same reason. If I gave in to your pleading and your taunts, I would feel like exploiting or utilising, even abusing and raping you. You promise now that tonight you will remain chaste and not try to seduce me anymore or I lock myself into the bedroom downstairs. Alone."

"Please, no. Don't leave me alone."

"Promise!"

"Yes, I promise. Just let me stay close." She looked like a beaten puppy and handed me the pillow I had prepared for her. "May I snuggle up to you?"

"Yes," I replied softly. "But as chaste as snuggling can be. Don't misunderstand me, Bev. I remember you being a confident, intelligent and fun woman. If you were in your proper state of mind I would feel honoured to have someone with your personality and your beauty trying to seduce me. But tonight, no."

"A goodnight kiss?"

"Bev!"

"Sorry. Good night. Thank you!"

"Good night. Sleep tight."

I turned on my back, my arms by my side, taking my standard sleeping position. But Beverly had slightly different plans. She pulled my left arm under her neck and draped herself on my side, her head on my shoulder, her left arm on my chest, her left leg over mine. Almost the second she had taken that position, she fell asleep. I could feel the tension leave her body. I protectively wrapped my left arm around her.

I lay awake, reflecting on the past day, making plans for the next. It would be a Saturday. Beverly might need help getting her act together, with her apartment. Legal support. She felt great lying next to me, a comfortable presence. Grocery shopping. Patrick. Dog walk. As always my last conscious thoughts went out to Sandra, Cecile and Matthew. I finally nodded of.

End of Part I - to be continued.